Hi Fast, thinking of you and wondering how your Mum is doing. Bay 🙂
This topic contains 11,627 replies, has 174 voices, and was last updated by hermajtomomi 7 months, 1 week ago.
Happy, don’t you remember Tony Hancock’s reaction to being told that by his doctor? Arrived home shouting ‘I’m really ill, I’ve got malingering!’ I should give it a go – might work…. Relieved to know it’s nothing worse – though sometimes the worst of all is just that unidentified ‘below par’ feeling. Please, some sunshine soon would help – it’s sunny and pleasantly warm here today, but I’m still in a long-sleeved cotton t, and it’s really nothing to write home about! (No doubt waiting for next week, when I have to do two separate days in London – sitting around in trains and hospitals!)
Bay, thanks for asking. Mum was being taken home for an hour earlier today (then back to hospital) to assess whether she would cope, and what help she would need, if she were discharged. I’m expecting a phone call tomorrow to let me know how things went. My concern is less about what will be provided, than how long it will be before Mum decides she won’t play ball – let carers in, wear a call pendant, leave a key in the external safe, etc. I’m discreetly researching other possibilities, so that I’ve done my homework if it all goes suddenly and horribly wrong – all I can do, at this point.
But Monday’s plumbing emergency here, and the subsequent boiler failure which has deprived me of my healing bath for three nights, are fixed, and the flood mopped up, so I’m a happier bunny than I was. And DH turned 71 yesterday, which involved a bit of a sugar fest, so today we fast….which actually feels rather good!
Hi Fast,
Well it’s sunny and warm here too! And I have my lower legs out in it today so making some vit D at least.
Glad to hear that things are progressing with your Mum, and that you are forearmed if/ when things go wrong.
Sorry to hear you’ve had (well the house 🙂 ) plumbing problems. These things are sent to try us…and they do!
Wish DH a belated happy birthday! And go on, tell us what the sugar fest entailed!?
Ashamed to say: scones with jam and cream, strawberries, choc brownies and my patent honey cake, which is extremely good but probably 800 calls per slice. Small tea party enjoyed by all, but especially by DH, who ate several slices of cake, plus one of everything else, and gave himself bellyache. I shall not state the obvious, nor ask the usual question about men and learning…..
Oh Fast! We’ve been here before with your DH, bless! Goldfish would learn faster… 🙂
I must admit I’ve just been browsing the buffet shop while waiting for a train. I went in with the intention of ‘treating’ myself. When faced with the array of confectionery containing a ridiculous amount of sugar, and vastly overpriced, I decided it wasn’t enough of a treat to tempt me after all. Now, your scones, brownies and honey cake are a different matter and I think worth getting belly ache for 🙂 No shame there!
Have re-christened my DH ‘Goldfish’ (thanks, Happy!). It suits him rather well, is affectionate but serves to remind him gently of your comment and the advisability of learning his limits. (Actually he said it was a bit of an insult to goldfish, but no offence taken – he knows his weaknesses – and his strengths!)
While I slept, you had such fun! I laughed out loud. Good news, Happy. Just wait until OH catches the same thing 😉 Maybe it’s time to indulge yourself a little. Can you get away to a sunnier place? I know you said that you have an acre, but can you ever manage a week away? When we lived in Wellington in NZ, everyone we knew took a week away in the sun during the worst of the weather.
Happy, it is dark chocolate that calls out to me on some days. In particular the 70% dark chocolate with roasted almond actually jumps out of the fridge at me. 😉
Fast, thinking of you worrying, and your Mum fighting for what she wants. Let’s hope she realises the price of independence is accepting help when and where it’s offered. Regarding the sugar splash for DH’s birthday, sounds wonderful. I love a small taste of homemade specialties. Well done 😆
Thank heavens my second fast day is over this week. The second day of the week is nearly always harder than the first. Maybe in maintenance I really don’t need the second day. I have no scales here, so am doing it to be sure. I am having coffee and later on I’m going to have a very small treat. The sun is shining here in Brisbane. Some golf coming up today. 🙄
Cheers, Bay 🙂
Hi Bay,
I nearly always plump for high cocoa solids dark choc, but yesterday didn’t. Not sure why. Possibly because I knew when I bought it that I was going to eat it all at once and I couldn’t have done that with 70% 🙂
Anyway, it hasn’t shown on the scales. And it wouldn’t have mattered if it did, I’ve got wriggle room.
I think you’re right about needing a bit of indulgence. It seems to have been a colder than usual start to the year, and there has been plenty of work pressure for 4 years now (not workload currently, but organisational restructure and further cuts). I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m probably just a bit stressed/ anxious and suffering winter blues to boot. I’m getting away for a week in July, but will probably look to take a few days off before then. I live in a beautiful bit of the world and a few hill walks or cycle rides in the Lake District will feel do me the world of good I’m sure.
Re: your second fast being hard. I’m not surprised! When you’re reunited with scales have you thought about seeing what happens with just 6:1? Or perhaps 6.1-and-a-half?
Fast,
I fear if your Goldfish has not learnt his limits by now, he never will! But his weakness there reminds us not to do as he does! So he’s providing a valuable public service… 🙂
Hi All,
Hopefully no news is good news!
I’m still easily maintaining around the 59kg mark.
I haven’t fasted since we last ‘spoke’ though, although some days must come in below TDEE to compensate for my weekend wine 🙂
I continue to mostly avoid added sugar, bread, pasta and rice during the week. And my body seems to work better as a result. No gain despite 3 slices of cake, half a bar of cooking chocolate and a sourdough loaf last weekend! I was sure I’d need to fast this week, but no!
I think I’m starting to see a pattern here. I maintained last summer just by 16:8 and low processed carbs/ sugar. But then needed to fast overwinter to maintain. And now the days are longer again, and I’m more active and perhaps eating less stodge, I’m back to just 16:8 and low carb again.
You know what? I don’t think I have issues with my weight any more 🙂
Happy, so happy. (Pun intended) for you. What a huge, huge achievement! Well done.
Other advantages I’ve discovered this week: two visits to London, with a walk across town and back (3.5 miles each way) each time. On Thursday I was particularly chuffed since a) the train was late, so I had to walk very fast to get to my appointment and b) my destination was at the top of 9 long flights of stairs, on the 3rd floor of an old hospital — they normally half kill me! – and I got there, on time and not even out of breath! So proud: thank you, Dr Moseley; thank you, all involved in the original TV prog; thank you, supportive friends here – award graciously accepted. (And a day-off ice cream eaten today in celebration!)
Hi Fast,
Good effort! That’s a fair amount of walking. And 9 flights of stairs?! I think most people would be looking for the lift!
It really has been life changing for so many people, in so many ways!
(I’m just debating whether to go for a run (wheezy jog!) or open a bottle of wine…when the sun is over the yard arm obviously 🙂 )
Claustrophobia has its uses, Happy: I avoid lifts at all costs – particularly the tiny, wheezy (hand-cranked?) old one in that particular building! And the walk is actually brilliant – so much to look at, and so grateful that so far my legs are one (two?) bit(s) that still work!
Definitely, go for the wine tonight – you can run tomorrow, in the rain we’re sending on its way to you….
Glad you enjoyed them both – the whole point of this diet is to learn to control weight and food – rather than their controlling us – but without turning Puritan or living without our occasional pleasures – and you’ve obviously achieved it.
Confession now: that ‘ice cream’ was actually a chocolate fudge sundae – three scoops (vanilla, choc, toffee) plus choc fudge cake and sauce. But it was a ‘one sundae, two spoons, take it in turns’ job, so less dreadful than it sounds. And it was delicious! (And I am so ham-handed with a spoon that most of mine didn’t actually get into my mouth, until DH decided to feed me – a bit like watching Springwatch, with humans, and minus the caterpillars and voles!). But that’s this week’s sugar ration gone in one fell swoop, so back to mindful eating tomorrow (not fasting, as still trying not to lose more – the sundae was all in a good cause! – but not stuffing myself with delicious bits of non-nutrition-ness either. )
The pleasure was multiplied many times by the presence of on the next table of a baby of 15months or so who decided I was the funniest thing she’d seen in weeks, so that we charmed one another with smiles and ‘peep boo’s throughout our respective lunches. Such a delight! Cure for broodiness at nearly 70, please, anyone?? (Oh yes – teenagers at 80+ – I remember now!)
Have a good weekend, all.
Hi Fast,
Sounds like your sugarfest and mine last weekend were for similar reasons! Who would have thought we’d be eating cake etc to try and at least maintain weight, and hopefully gain weight so that we can fast again?!
I must admit I’m not an automatic lover of children! I never was broody, and don’t have any of my own. But I do enjoy those moments where you amuse a baby and are amused in return… A cure for broodiness at 70? Remembering the sleepless nights? Thinking of how knackered (and poor) you’d be?!
Hi Bay – how are you?
Thanks – again – for asking about Mum. Progress is slow, but I think / hope real. S she’s physically better, but still in hospital until proper support for her return home is in place. The suggestion is that she should have 3 or 4 carers’ visits per day, hot meals delivered and an emergency-call pendant – plus an external key safe, so that she can’t lock the carers out. The really good thing, ironically, is that they have finally decided she is not capable of making good decisions about her own needs, so she can no longer refuse care, and if it does break down, or if her needs increase, she can be moved into residential care. i hope it will all work at home for her, though can’t say I’d put money on it – but I’m hugely relieved that someone is finally sharing the responsibility, and ensuring that she can’t be left without care, after what seems like 18 months of shouting ‘help!’ I’m just sorry it had to take a crisis to make it happen – but I think that’s often the case. Mum should go home some time next week, so everything crossed!
Hi Fast
That sounds great about your Mum. I’m fine. I’m home again in Canberra where the temps are maxing out at 13 C and sunshine. I left Brisbane today where the temps range from 15C overnight to 23 C in the day. 😯 It was a lovely three week time out in the sun with my mum.
In the experiment of one, my BP is way down and into the normal range. Due to one low dose tablet now being taken at around 5-6 pm each day. Around 24 hours from the last tablet my BP was 136/69 which is just great when you think that the tablet is now due.
Cheers, Bay 🙂
I suspect I’ll only really relax when she dies, Happy. (That’s not meant to sound awful – it’s mainly the same as never ceasing to worry about your children, however old they get. ) But this will go a long way: I’ve slept straight through several nights this week – which used to be my default setting but hasn’t been for quite a while – and the last few mornings it hasn’t been my first, stomach-dropping, thought. I shall see what happens in 6 weeks’ time, when the post-hospital free provision ends and she realises she has to start paying for care. I suspect she will then protest that she doesn’t need it, and battle will begin again. But it’s good to know that it will be someone else’s job this time to convince her otherwise – and meantime I hope she may start to appreciate the security and company, so that I shall be proved wrong.
Welcome home, Bay: glad your trip was so good. And brilliant BP!
Hi Everyone,
Sorry for the delayed absence. Spring/summer recording season has begun in earnest, and I have been recording day and night at weekend festivals on three of the last four Saturdays/weekends. Add the new full-time job into the mix and there was hardly any time for anything. I think I mentioned this was the first full-time job I’ve had since 2002. The company just reorganised last week and eliminated my position, so I’ve been jobless since this past Wednesday (though had an interview for another full time position yesterday). At any rate, if nothing else I should have a bit more time to post, though looking for work is more work than working if you know what I mean.
Great to hear your BP is getting under control Bay, and with a relatively simple solution as well. I hope that holds up in the long run. Fast, I feel for what you must be going through with your mum. My mum died 17 years ago. I was 39 at the time, and barely able to take care of my expenses, so there is no way I could have paid for care for her (which is what usually happens Stateside here). In a very odd sort of way it was kind of a blessing I suppose–not that I’m happy it turned out that way, but I suppose it was for the best in some respects.
At least you are on good terms with your mum. I wasn’t on speaking terms with mum when she passed. To make an incredibly long story short, she was horribly abusive of me my whole life, and a few months before she passed (she was pretty healthy then) I broke off communications with her until she could treat me like a human being, which sadly, never happened. Even though your mum might be an old curmudgeon, I suggest you treasure the time you have left with her. At least it sounds like for the most part you have a good relationship with her–not all of us are/were so lucky.
At any rate, on the weight front, when I started maintenance I was certain I’d still need to fast two days to maintain, though decided to try the naturopath’s suggested maintenance plan (using TDEEs for different activity levels for his suggested goal weight for me from Mayo Clinic calculator, with one fast and two refeed days per week). I’ve been using the Somewhat Active number for days with no exercise, the Active number for days with exercise, and the Very Active number for two refeed days per week (though at trainer’s suggestion these are no-exercise days the day before exercise days). I’ve been mostly sticking to the plan above pretty diligently (except for the four-day holiday weekend last month followed by the professional meeting with cake, truffles, and other sweets).
However, I reached half a pound below my target on 24 April (for the first time since starting 5:2 on 10 January), then attended a series of events involving food for the next week and a half or so (and went up again–though at most three pounds/1.36 kilos/.21 stones above goal–usually less). However, since 9 May I’ve been at or above goal for five days–in over a month–the rest of the time I’ve been below goal–and all this while pretty strictly sticking to the protocol above at least since 9 May (though since I’ve been under goal so much I’ve been experimenting with slightly higher TDEE than recommended–by 50-100 calories). BTW, for the record, my goal weight is 110 pounds/49.9 kilos/7.86 stones. This morning after weighing four times I was under by 1.5 pounds/.68 kilos/.11 stones.
I just had another series of blood tests run yesterday (to compare with the ones taken last November–pre 5:2). I expect good results and will be seeing the naturopath on Friday to discuss them–before my company-paid medical insurance expires at the end of this month :-(. I really pigged out at breakfast this morning and really enjoy these refeed days.
Happy weekend all,
Jayney
Jayney – good to see you back – welcome. Thanks for your kind words about mothers – i’m sorry your memories are so very painful, but actually I understand them better than you can know, or I want to elaborate on here, or now. The tensions between love (in its deepest sense), duty and the experience of any form of abuse are indeed complex and can be almost unbearably hard, and whatever level of forgiveness may be possible does not automatically heal the scars, or make relationships less complicated. And even straightforward grieving – let alone the complicated kind you are doing – usually includes elements of grief and regret: you are by no means alone, so please don’t be too hard on yourself.
Many Thanks FastFastSlow,
I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. I meet regularly here with a someone I met in a bereavement group who also had an abusive mother. Our sessions are really co-counselling sessions, and we help heal each other. In your case it’s almost more difficult because your mum is still around to constantly re-stimulate the hurt. If there’s anything I can do to help please let me know. Many thanks again. Your support means more to me than you know, and please know you have mine as well.
Jayney
Hi Jayney,
Good to hear you’re maintaining, despite what life is throwing at you.
Interesting about using different TDEE’s on different days. I don’t count calories, but make wild guesses about likely calorie content, but it seems to me that I am doing something similar, i.e. weekends I go over, some days in the week I go under. I suspect I naturally eat a bit more/ restrict a bit less on days when I’m more active.
Now I’ve been maintaining for over a year I’m increasingly relaxed about it.
Sorry to hear you had such a painful relationship with your Mum. As they say, you can choose your friends….
Hi Happy
I agree with you from personal experience. Processed carbs and sugars are the worst for weight, if you indulge too much. I came back after three weeks away to the scales of truth. 😉 the good news is that I am within range of my wriggle room!
I am at the top of my maintenance weight. So this week I have to lose 2 kg through fasting and giving up all carbs and sugars. I know that I gain weight as soon as I look at carbs and sugars. 😥
Yes, we can eat what we want, but we learn portion size and we learn which foods cause us to gain weight, even if only eating a very small amount. Because I wish to keep eating those little treats, I accept that I have to weigh each day, so that I can adjust accordingly.
I recently saw a post where someone was counting calories of vegetables. I can confidently say I NEVER count green vegetables in my calorie count. If I get hungry on a fast day, I eat lightly steamed green vegetables such as broccoli or asparagus.
Root veges like potato are different and definitely are included in the calorie count.
Happy fasting Monday to all.
Cheers, Bay 🙂
Thanks HappyNow, I look forward to reaching the one year mark of maintenance next April, and hope I’ll have more of a handle on things by then. I was going to have a VO2 Max test done at the end of this month (to help figure out how many calories I actually burn and get a more accurate TDEE as a result). However, that will need to wait until my next job.
Bay, because I’m 4’10” tall, I include ALL FOODS CONSUMED in my calorie count. For me at least, there is hell to pay if I don’t.
Happy fast days to all,
Jayney
I’m definitely with you, Bay – if it’s sugary, it’s lethal, if it’s green it doesn’t count! But it’s good that we continue to get to know our own bodies better, and adjust according to our individual needs, so well done, Jayney, for accepting and working with yours.
Bay – that 2kg won’t take long to shift, because you know how, now..when you’re wishing you didn’t need to, remember the pleasure of the holiday, and the little treats that put it there.. Totally worth it, as long as you’re prepared to do the fasting as well – with you all the way!!
Hi Happy and Fast. (Where is Lichtle?)
Probably complacency got me 🙄 I was at my mothers house for 3 weeks without my scales, plus she has lots of nibbles. I do not binge eat or drink. Rather it is the sweet treat type of food that calls out to me from the fridge or the cupboard. 😉
I fasted one day a week while away in a normal way. Black coffee, poached Egg and spinach for breakfast, hearty vegetable soup and Parmesan for dinner, with Brazil nuts for nibbles. Lots of water. I did however treat myself to something sweet on all non fast days. 😥 and that appears to have done the damage. Goldfish also!
Now I’m on a serious fast of 300-400 calories, with no starches or grains or processed food of any type.
When I lost my chicken (bingo) wings and the padding from my stomach and hips, I had been on a strict regimen of GF food on both fast and non fast days for many weeks. Drat those bingo wings turning up again! I am taking it as a personal challenge to lose them before we go on the big trip. You can hold me to it.
Cheers, Bay 🙂
Hi Fastfastslow
as you know I don’t post on her but I lurk – nearly halfway there, love reading how you stay in maintenance.
Re your remark on posting photo, read the Aussie Determination thread, they are posting photos. The only thread I’ve seen do it, and they do mention how.
Thought if you knew it could be done, you would have a go – if you manage it some before and after shots would be great to see.
Hi everybody, thanks for being missed 🙂
DD Nr1 got married last Friday and family from abroad had to be looked after for a week. It was indeed a lovely wedding at a dream location. What a beautiful couple. I am a very proud mother.
FFS your neck of the woods is beautiful – I want to move there but not before both girls are settled ie married. ATM I am still at Bristol with DD Nr2 waiting for commuter traffic to subside then a three hr trip home again. After our extended family left yesterday, I spent some lovely quality time with DD nr2 at the Bristol green festival which was phantastic.
I have not weighed myself for over a week (I can’t believe it) and it will be interesting to see the damage tomorrow morning. I am hoping my extremely silly 4hr session on the dance floor sorted some of the calorie overload on the wedding day. 🙂
Congratulations Lichtle! Wedding sounds beautiful! The first wedding is always so exciting.
Probably all the others are too lol but we’ve only had one son get married so far!
And I bet you won’t have put on half as much weight as you think if any at all. And if you have, too bad, it was all in a good cause! 🙂
Lichtle, I’d forgotten about the wedding – I’m so glad it went well. How did the outfit go down?? I bet you felt wonderful, being such a svelte, healthy and well-dressed M of the B!
If you eventually get your wish to move down here, we’ll dress in purple and go out on the town! Bristol is actually a rather fantastic city – not my original home town, but we love it here. It has everything – as long as you can find a way to come to terms with / redeem the fact that its fortunes were made on tobacco and slavery. Not a comfortable thought at all – but all the more reason to rejoice that it is now both an incredibly diverse community and ‘Green Capital of the year’.
Bay,
Congratulations for shifting the gained weight, and good luck with the wings!
I have a tendency to gain weight all over, but must admit I don’t know how quickly my arms respond! I’m intrigued now though and will have to measure them when (if 🙂 ) I gain weight next…
Now I’m slim any gain/ water is certainly very obvioua around my belly!
I’m towards the upper end of my range, but I know why! Carbs and cake 🙁 But I have also stepped up my exercise recently, at least a 6km walk alternating with the same distance ‘run’. So I would hope that has contributed to the weight also.
I did flirt with doing a fast day yesterday, but it would have meant no evening meal and I’m afraid I was weak-willed to resist the smell of Sunday’s roast left overs 🙂
I’m with you Bay,
The beauty of this way of life to me is that you don’t have to give anything up–you just need to be mindful about it and make up for it later (by fasting/reducing calories on other non-fast days, etc.). I almost said, once you get the hang of it, it’s a piece of cake, though I don’t think that’s quite where we wanted to go ;-).
On the weight front, it might interest you to know that this past weekend I decided to experiment on Saturday (a fast day when I was reducing, a refeed day now). Because I was about 1.5 pounds/.68 kilos/.1 stone under my goal that morning, I decided to have 600 calories over my normal TDEE for that day. On hindsight, had I recalled I was having measurements done by the trainer the next day I might have waited. However, because the scales showed a 2 pound difference when weighing myself a few times in a row the next morning (i.e. two pounds’ difference between immediately stepping on and off), I reduced calories on Sunday as I did when I was trimming down (I still have the daily meal plan cards I made using the old TDEE).
That got me down more than half a pound by yesterday (though still more than half a pound above goal). Yesterday I did a water/psyllium/supplements (and gum and breath mints) only fast (under 200 calories). Today I’m a pound under goal. I only bring this up to say that in the past going over like that would have done me in, and it would have taken me months to get back to where I’d started. However, as you all know, 5:2 really does the trick so one can indulge and not have hell to pay for months on end. How great is that?
Thanks for your support one and all,
Jayney
Hi Jayney,
I don’t calorie count like you, but I do micro manage like you!
I think quite a few of us weigh daily and then adjust our intake accordingly (I’m light, I eat cake; I’m heavy, I don’t).
For me, maintenance isn’t about carrying on overeating and then fasting it off, it’s about managing my weekly calorie allowance to maintain +/-
And yes, today I was 0.2kg over my upper threshold..! But I know now a bit of calorie manipulation this week (and avoiding white carbs) will fix it. If I’m really lucky, I’ll stay over goal and have good reason to fast… 🙂
Hi all, I weighed myself this morning and and seem to have put on 1.5lbs. I am sure this time next week this will be gone as I will fast on Friday and Monday. I agree with Happy that we all seem to have a similar maintenance strategy, using the morning weigh-ins as a guide how much we can eat. It ensures that we don’t go outside our wiggle room easily and any occasional lapses can be corrected with a couple of fasts or carb free eating. I don’t think carbs in general have quite such a strong effect on me as on you Bay, but sugar definitely has. Once I start, I find it hard to only have a small amount, so I have to allow myself occasional days when I go berserk followed by a sugar ban for a few days.
Happy, re 4 hr danceathon, it was lots of fun as my brain thought I could still perform all that rock and roll, boogie and frantic non-descript dancing I was once capable of, even though my legs and lungs could hardly keep up with the brain. Nonetheless, I was prepared to make a complete fool of myself and dance as I did in my 20s. I haven’t had the “mum you were sooo embarrassing” comment just yet – but still plenty of time for that. 😉 My 81 year old parents however were the surprise stars on the dance floor. 😉
Hey Happy,
The only reason I calorie count is because I do aerial work and really want my weight to be fairly steady and ideally under- rather than overweight (though I don’t want to go flying off the apparatuses either). What’s really cool is that since 9 May I’ve only been above goal seven days (not in a row, but scattered throughout that time). The rest of the time I’ve been under goal. I’m sure the naturopath won’t like that, but it works for me. 🙂
Hi Maintenance bunnies.
Just a quick hello to assure you we are still around.
Mr P and I had a fabulous 5 weeks in Nth America and came back with no extra weight. Our travel scales were our constant conscience. They allowed us to monitor our indulgences closely.
You can have your trip/cake/hot dog/hamburger /cider etc and enjoy it if you keep an eye on the big picture. We did not fast properly the whole trip, but often skipped meals/ ate only starters or left the carb part. A guilt free good time.
Missed the daily chatter. Hope you are all well. P 🙂
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