Hermaj MA
My heart goes out to you. My sister in law is the same contol . My niece at 4yrs old asked who my mother was . It crushed her. As she grew older I’ve advised my niece to keep us upto date on her electronic media games. My mother an I both talk to her daily now a she like getting help with online gaming pursuits. Every so often I just ake everyone over there on Sunday pile out of the car and say we were In neighborhood and want to take everyone to lunch. I always isolate my sister in law in conversation that I just listen . But at the same time my niece gets attention from grandma. Sad it has to be that way from time to time. But I’m determined that the will to be together finds the way. Gifts and chocolate , and listening to my sister in law talk about shopping seems to pry open the door. Or at least get a look in from window. I can’t speak for the rest , but I’m glad you can vent here, especially if the alternative is to stuff oneself with emotional eating. . Please do! Vent.

Hermaj we are all friends here so vent away . We have a family member like that too . Thank God only one of them . We are a family who love to hug and this person Never gives them . I won’t go into details as it would just upset me and every one else 🙁 So vent away pal .

Went to take Dad out today and he had a sore foot .he is almost 97 and NEVER complains but he was in pain today Bless him . he said he was too sore to go out . All the staff were looking after him because he NEVER complains . I had bought him a pair of deck shoes some time back ( he won’t wear slippers) we got him to put them on and we cut them down a wee bit too . I am still worried but I can phone any time .

I hope you all have a ball in York .

Wee xx

Hugs and love, hermaj. People can be SO heartbreaking. I have also, like several others here, experienced this sort if behaviour. I am crushed by it but try to work around it. I tell myself it is not me, it is the other person’s problem and, like Samm,try to work around the problematic behaviour to ensure the rest of us are not deprived. You are a wonderful aunt/great aunt. I’m sure your nephews love you as much as you love them. Keep strong dear lady. P x

Hermaj as everyone else says on here, vent away! We all can understand your heartache with this. HUGS to you and hope you get to see more of the people you love.

Happy YORKIES day for those going there. Saw a lovely photo from Smiffy on FB of the market, looks gorgeous. Have a WOW of a time ladies 😀

I think I know just how little it takes to have a food coma … I had lunch yesterday, albeit only small, which I don’t normally do, I ate cherries mid afternoon, albeit a handful only, and then dinner last night … normally I’d only eat half the chicken but last night I ate the lot AND had my weekly icecream too. Got home and kept falling asleep! Think I’d best stick to my regular eating habits in future as I didn’t like the zonked feeling. So it will be a semi-FD today for me as we’re out for dinner tonight at a special club function and I’ll have a FD tomorrow to keep on track plus my regular two FD’s next week. I felt like such a glutton after eating all that.

Hello Fast Trackers
South Aussies (Nicky Emel and Aussie Oma) Victoria (Nama) ACT (Bay) NSW (PVE) and SAMM HappyNow Wiwi Amazon Jojo Herm Lizzy Ply Weemam Smiffy and Hello World (You know Who you Are)
I did a 4 day fast in my first week on the 5-2 WOL/WOE for the biggest week loss to date of 2.3kg I then ran the Mon-Thurs. FD for 4 weeks with the last week weigh in -.08kg. So since then I have been on a 4-3 mostly M-W-F although last week M-T-W to suit my social calendar 😆 and this week I have gone B2B M-T then a Wed feast then B2B TH-F which I have not done before and now the w/e feast todays weigh in is a loss of 1.4kg I think ALL off from between my shoulders to the hips the targeted area thank you. I will definitely go again on that schedule of 2 FD 1 feast then 2 FD and 2 feast for sure WOW Hermaj super impressive MA with merit fantastic Nama tisk tisk Mrs Adults Only indeed hmmm love ya work and thought process I do 😉 thanks PVE and AO my mow-vember effort it’s a blend of Denis Lillie and John Newcombe in my eyes at least.
Enjoy the Weekend Fast Friends
RT

 “Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.”
        – [G. B. Stern]
 “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
        – [William Arthur Ward]
“He who forgets the language of gratitude can never be on speaking terms with happiness.”
        – [C. Neil Strait]
 “Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”
        – [W. T. Purkis]
“We are so taken up with the affairs of the present that we don’t have time to give thanks for blessings of the past.”
        – [John A. Broadus]
“As we pause to thank Him for the blessings of the past year, we must not forget to thank Him for the lessons we have learned through our difficult times. We are not to be thankful for just the pleasant, easy things, but ALL things.”
        – [Millie Stamm]
 “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many–not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
        – [Charles Dickens]
 “A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.”
        – [Cicero]
 “Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies.”
        – [Charles E. Jefferson]
 “Giving thanks to God for both His temporal and spiritual blessings in our live  is not just a nice thing to do – it is the moral will of God. Failure to give Him the thanks due Him is sin.”
        – [Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins]
 “O Lord, who lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.”
        – [Shakespeare]
 “Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil of which thanks naturally grow.  A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets much as he deserves.”
        – [Henry Ward Beecher]
 – “That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works.”
        – [Psalm 26:7]

THANKSGIVINGS

Tables filled with family and friends.
Hugs and humility .
Another year of blessings to share.
Nourishment of body and soul.
Kindheartedness of nieghbors young and old.
Strength to keep on Keepin  on.
Grace to be merciful and forgiving.
iotas of thankfullness leads to god.
Vittles in pots,pans, and crocks.
Inspiration on cold days to help the sick and homeless.
Noshing on candy reminding of how sweet life can be.
Giving until their cups runeth over.
SAMM.

Good words Samm – and very well said Nama x

Hermaj, just read your post and you have my deepest sympathy. There’s nothing quite so bitter as family disputes.

For more years than I can remember, actually about 30, my OH has been ‘out of charity’ with his two younger brothers over something I was alleged to have said to their dotty mother, who took umbrage and then sent the brothers into battle firing her bullets. As we lived interstate and they near their mother, many hard words were exchanged over the phone and even though we now live back in the same city, my OH was so offended he vowed to have no more contact with them. As you can imagine, I feel terrible that he has been cut off from the two people in the world he has known the longest and I can’t escape the feeling that it’s my fault, because he is of the ‘defend honour’ school.

Difficult though it is, it may be possible for you to have continued contact with your grand-nephew once he is away from home studying, and the same for the younger one. That doesn’t help the immediate pain but possibly something to look forward to.

So sorry that you don’t feel up to the York trip. Hope another opportunity arises.

Take care of yourself. Nxx

Hi all, well I finally feel I belong to this thread as I have released 1.3 kg this week. Of course I need to be careful this weekend as I tend to undo all my good work during the week by a lack of control on Saturday / Sunday. Interestingly it is the evenings that I struggle with.
I trust the York trip is all and more that people hope it will be.
A very slow start today as did not get to bed until way after one -had to pick up a group of boys from the other side of Adelaide and had dropped them off ! Was up fours later to take my son to his job and then hopped back into bed fully clothed and slept for three others. Contemplating the gym but really liking not doing anything. It is36 in Adelaide today!
Family dynamics are challenging are they not! And as we near Christmas, the friction seems more intense. So how important is it to be thankful for the small thingsI liked your collection Samm, a timely reminder for me!
Only two weeks remaining g of our students and then another week for me before I can lock the door and forget about work forr two weeks. Mmmm jojo I concur re education system. Unfortunately Australia is adopting the british approach despite the evidence.

It’s not always that something has been said which causes friction in families – it’s often a lot of chips on shoulders, when one member of the family becomes resentful because they feel another has achieved more/earned more or has a higher intellect. It’s so sad because those people often have outstanding qualities of their own. If only they could bring themselves to say “well done” or “I’m so happy for you” instead of silently seething inside. Could this be the problem in your nephew’s case Hermaj? After all – you must have been a hard act to follow! I know this to be the case in my family.

I was awake very early this morning – I’ve got the snorer from hell in the room next door! Luckily I was so whacked after my marathon trek around York yesterday that I was out like a light until about 5.30, when I was woken up by what I thought was someone moving furniture around. I’m going to discreetly find out if they are here for a second night. If so, I’m off to get some earplugs!

Aussie, you are so right, though sometimes it’s hard to take the magnanimous approach.

Hear! Hear! for Emel – very much a part of the group. The important thing is, we are all losing/staying the same, which is a major achievement, especially at this time of year. My neighbour has now woken up and I want to go back to sleep but I can also smell bacon! They only serve breakfast between 8.30 and 9.30 so I’m off to shower, eat and then off to the station to meet Lizzie. See you later Jojo. x

Wise words, Smiffy. You could well be right. I hear what you are saying Oma and you’ll see below how much I loved and admired the bugger before he went weird. Sadly I no longer get the chance to focus on his good points as I’m not allowed into his presence. 🙁

As it happens the guy is extremely bright, well-read and well-informed, as our previous long, interesting and often hilariously funny conversations revealed. If we were still speaking I would encourage him to think seriously about OU or similar as I know he would enjoy finding out just how academically able he is.

I missed him so much while doing the Grad Cert and MA as he would have been a brilliant sounding board. His lovely wife was so supportive, in fact she’s been the family member who has been the most encouraging, although apparently the elder great-nephew was very proud of his “cool auntie who’s gone back to uni”. However, as a scientist, she isn’t all that au fait with my subject and I didn’t like to bore the poor girl witless.

His own uni experience was not good. His pushy parents bullied him into taking a science degree, sending him to a crammer to do science A-levels, when he’s clearly a humanities type. Who knows, he might have become a lawyer. 🙂 He even has the family foreign languages gene. My OH reckons that maybe they didn’t like the idea of another layabout linguist in the family. He lasted less than a term at Swansea. Someone nicking his mountain bike was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Have a lovely time in York. Big hugs to all three Yorkies.

Hello all just popped in to wish the ladies off to Leeds this weekend a lovely time. A belated happy thanksgiving to Samm and any others across the pond. I’m happy to read that the spirit of community is there for you Samm – I think Americans could teach us all in this regard.
Warm congratulations on your MA Hermaj im so impressed quite an achievement! Sorry to hear of your other upset especially as it spoiled your weekend plans. My only experience of being ‘cut off’ was with a very close friend a few years ago. She had emotional and mental health issues and with the benefit of hindsight I can see that I simply ‘knew too much’. I played a trusted and sympathetic role and she revealed to much of herself and then regretted it. She withdrew from me I eventually backed off ,never betrayed her trust and I’m glad to say we have ( sort of) reconciled through time. Could your nephew be threatened by your relationship with his wife? He sounds very insecure if you supported her when he was being a dick he’ may think you are judging him. Forgive me if my opinion is way off. It’s so hard to accept that we can’t change others behaviour only our reaction to it. I’ve stressed and struggled with this and I’m not sure im getting much better at it. I come from a’ least said soonest mended ‘ family but I think it’s far healthier to let rip.
Hope the Aussie crowd are enjoying their summer weather- my gorgeous daughter is back home for a visit next week and boy is she in for a shock! I’ve got her a fleecy onesie and some furry boot slippers to help combat the cold damp weather we’re having. My Christmas decorations are going up early in her honour. It’s one year today since they left -definitely one of the worst days of my life. She was a prem baby and I had to leave her in the baby unit and go home to my other daughter. The feeling of tearing gut wrenching separation was very similar but now she’ll soon be home I’m so excited I could burst!
Best wishes to all

Just home from A&E with Dad . he stopped walking about in the care home yesterday as his foot was really sore . He NEVER sits down . He was still sore today and needing help so the nurse at the home got the Dr in .we were all worried his foot might be broken . They were all lovely at A&E and he was singing all the time . ..After we had been there for some time Dad got up from the wheelchair and walked to the toilet . . His foot WAS still sore but nothing like it was .
When we got back he lay down in his bed with his clothes on and said good night to my OH . The staff said they would go and see to him 🙂
So relieved nothing was broken .
You hear so many stories about care homes BUT the staff in Dads are brilliant . The all care for him so much . He doesn’t realize how lucky he is .
Just glad he is OK xx

Good morning all. Thanks for all the supporting comments – it has been difficult reading all the posts of loss and knowing that my lack of loss is entirely of my own doing but I figure that some of us may be abit slower with embracing this way of life! I spent a few hours with a friend who is in hospital last night. It was 24 hrs after major surgery and she was not good. The complicating factors are due to her weight, it was quite sobering for me and made me more determined that I have to turn around for my health.
Another warm day and I have to get the house in order and then drive to work and complete a number of tasks before 7 pm. It is making the last few weeks of work very long. Our Xmas do on Tuesday but I will be moderate and then a gathering of leaders on Friday for a very nice lunch. More calories !
Well my coffee is finished so off to clean the bathroom and lounge room ciao emel

Emel, don’t be downhearted at your reported slow progress.

I joined this thread along with several others some months ago as ‘refugees’ when things went pear shaped on another.

While I would very much like to lose 2lb/week according to Jojo’s thread name, I admitted at the outset that I wasn’t prepared to put that much effort in while my current practice results in a satisfactory 1kg/month or slightly more on average. Despite that everyone here has been most welcoming.

If you look back through my posts, you will find that I only report a loss about monthly but no-one seems to mind. Any sustainable loss for me is marvellous, having tried most dieting systems over the past 15 or so years without managing to keep the weight away after reaching whatever my goal was at the time.

You are doing very well and we all know that one of the main advantages of this WOL is its flexibility.

On slightly different note and prompted by the Yorkies’ rendezvous plans, I wonder if you would like to meet at some stage for a coffee/tea and chat? From your earlier posts I suspect we live quite near each other. I will be on leave for most of January. Absolutely no worries if you don’t want to but if you do, you could send me a message via the thread’s FB page. Nicky.

Hi everyone

Just a quick check-in whilst the champion snorer in the next room is still roaring away. His poor wife …!

Had a lovely afternoon with the vivacious Jojo yesterday. Lots of laughs, and I’m looking forward to meeting up in York today before we head off home in different directions. It’s such a shame that Hermaj and Lizzie weren’t able to join us – and the other UK contributors who would like to have but couldn’t, either for geographical reasons or other commitments. I’m sure Amazon is having a great time in Cuba, and I think Happy was off to a REAL German Christmas Market in Berlin?

Food wise, it has been a pretty good weekend except for a pack of M &S Tiffin which mysteriously found it’s way into my basket – and I don’ t even have a sweet tooth! However I must have walked the equivalent of Dick Turpin’ ride from London to York over the past couple of days, so I’m not too worried. OH is cooking a nice meal for me to go home to and it’s a fast day tomorrow, so it will be interesting to see what the scales say on Monday.

Haven’t had chance to read the recent posts but hope everyone is well, and that Lizzie’s’ dog and Wee’s Dad are ok.

Have a good day/evening all

Smiffy x

Enjoy the markets Jojo….I’m envious 😉 P

Morning All,

Unfortunately it wasn’t me going to the Berlin Christmas market 🙁 can’t just remember who it was though.

I have been to the Lincoln market though, many years ago when we lived in East Anglia. We bought all sorts of lovely things, mostly for us! And had an interesting wander round Lincoln also. But I do remember there was a lot of food and drink! It is only once a year though 🙂

Thank you everyone for your concern. I agree, my nephew has mental health problems. At the same time as I supported his wife, I also supported him. In fact, she encouraged me to do so, on the basis that he loved me and respected my opionion and it might do some good. My approach was to tell him I loved him dearly but his behaviour was that of a shit. I never betrayed a confidence either way.

MY OH played a role in this, banning my nephew from the house, although I continued to see him and exchange emails quite happily for nearly two years before he suddenly turned on me.

I too am going to wind up with mental health problems if this goes on much longer. We had a dreadful shouting match yesterday during which I was told I was “as big a c*** as your c*** of a nephew”. It packed a bag and found a hotel. I’ve only returned today because I have a job to deliver tomorrow.

I’m going awol from the forum for the time being. I’m liable to say something out of turn and offensive, especially if anyone goes so far as to tell me to get a grip.

SAMM dude you are are one switched on cool cat
seriously that last post just hit the nail on the head
mate
i couldn’t agree more
well done is always
better than well said 😉
RT

Hi all, it is a fast day for me today and I am looking forward to it! NickyF I would love to catch up- but I do not know how to access the FB page. Ie I am on Facebook myself but not sure which page you are referring to as there are quite a few Fb pages for 5:2. Jan sounds great, I am staying put and painting my verandah well that is the plan!

Hi AO all good thanks I am winding up in the next 2 weeks then embrace 4 weeks holidays Emel happy fasting to you it is strange to look forward to the lightness that comes from fasting hey.?? and Nicky happy fast day to you I have just had the shave off in the staff room so its now just a plain ol rouge again 😳 and not Lillie/newcombe any longer hi PVE and Nama that link was insightful I love the big words Cellular and Molecular Mechanisms: Insight from Intermittent Energy Restriction and Fasting or IER metabolic response to food intake controlled by the endogenous circadian system awesome better awareness with science.
SAMM 19 months ADF that’s impressive congratulations that is inner strength people
Herm I have read your story tragic as it is and didn’t feel I could add anything that hadn’t been said from our forum family BUT the shouting match yesterday language is lowest of the low don’t let the behaviour of others ruin your inner peace herm stay strong grasshopper..
The yorkies catch up would have been a talk fest for sure my dear dad loved to use his favourite phrase “fair dinkum she could talk under water with a mouthful of marbles”
As often as he could!!
Very good friends let’s get our fast on 😆
Peace
RT

Hello everyone,
yep I am always last in Aus to post in the mornings….just more of a night owl! Lovely to read everyone’s posts, what a great bunch!
Hermaj I am so sad that you are so distressed that you feel you can’t post for now. I second everyone else’s comments, esp Jojo’s re not being able to change others feelings. Re your row with OH, I firmly believe the bit about Mars and Venus. Most blokes (sorry RT and SAMM) are so different to females when it comes to sorting out emotional stuff….when we simply want to discuss it and bounce ideas off them, or even just vent, they want to help by offering solutions to “fix” our problem, then get offended if we don’t agree with their solution! I have 3 brothers, 2 sons and a husband and although they are all very different in nature, some much more patient than others, they all take the “fix it ” approach when discussing personal problems. So I chat to my sister in laws or girlfriends instead! We usually know what we are going to do anyway and just need to talk. And if unsure of a solution, we just need to talk too!
Jojo and Smiffy your weekend frolics sounded fun, what a great thing to do.
Yes SAMM I agree about people not being interested in fasting, well we will show them!
Wee I do hope your dear Dad is feeling better, he sounds like a darling.
RT and Nicky, love your quotes…there are so many brilliant ones aren’t there…and I think our Dads had the best! Personally I love “a bucket of eggs and a big stick” (not sure when to use it but it’s so evocative) and my naughtiest son has some beauties, but a bit rude for here!

Planning to assault the ironing today, hopefully I will win. Should be easier not to have excuses to stop whilst fasting! Hope everyone has a great day or night x