New here today…

This topic contains 15 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Penguinchick 1 day, 15 hours ago.

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  • Hello,

    This is my first time posting anything on any kind of ‘personal’ level forum, so forgive me if I waffle on a bit… I’m hoping that if I log what I do and where I am with my weight/feelings, I might actually start liking myself again and feel some support from people in a similar situation to me.

    I’m a 51 yo mum of 2, married to a wonderful man who is supportive and loving, so on paper I should have the tools I need to help me.

    Not sure how much history I should put, so I’ll start at the point where I decided I was going to lose weight and get ‘me’ back again:
    At the beginning of Feb, I used up/discarded all items in the fridge/cupboards which contained sugar/were processed etc, there wasn’t a lot, but with kids in the house, there’s always some of that type of thing and I want my kids to have a healthy attitude to food, with knowledge about what different things do to the body.
    The reason for this is mainly that as a child myself, I had to look after and ‘cure’ (as my parents informed me to do this) my anorexic/bulimic younger sister. They sent us both to stay with an uncle in another country for 3 months, so I could ‘cure’ my sister of her anorexia. I did what I could, as I was studying biology and wanted originally to become a vet/doctor. I was 14 at the time, so I was in no position to be any real help, but I did get her to gain a little weight for a short time. Cutting a very very long story shorter, she’s alive and she’s still got anorexia/bulimia, but it set in my mind the obsession with food from a young age. I also learned a huge amount about food disorders and oddly, even back then, long before it was reported in the news, I felt it was more of a mental illness than a faddy food thing… The wisdom of children!
    I was always a comfortable weight, though was constantly told I would become like my Aunt, who is very obese and always has been, so I set about exercising and channelling my inner ‘thin’ person so that I would never be like her. I now realise that all of those hideous comments aimed at me were wrong and I have made a point of always being encouraging and kind to my own children (who are thankfully active, healthy and perfect weights for their ages).
    Aside from all of the very obvious (yes, now it’s obvious!) and huge mistakes/traumas that were forced upon me as a child, I always maintained a comfy size 12 and was super fit and always ate healthily… until I got pregnant.
    I miscarried my first, I was an older mother at 38 back then and within 3 months of losing, I was pregnant again. Once my first was born, I was pregnant again very quickly and had my two at 39 and 41 yrs old – I know I’m lucky to have had such an easy time getting pregnant. My 2nd pregnancy was worse than the first in that I craved stodge… pizza/pasta/cake/sweets/chocolate milk (YUK!), things I never usually eat because I really don’t like them. I put on a lot of weight, but it crept up and kept going up until a couple of years ago, having not looked in a mirror or owned a set of scales, a man on the street called out to me, whistled and told me I was a fat cow.
    I guess anyone reading this who has experienced similar, will understand how badly that affected me. I went home, looked in a mirror and just sobbed my heart out.
    Having given up my successful career to stay at home with my kids, I lost touch with a lot of my friends who had done all of their child rearing when they were much younger, I felt very alone and fell into a very bad depression, which I managed to hide from everyone until now.
    So I woke up my brain and told myself that I will change what has happened to me, as I am not going to be a victim of this awful change that my body has been through and I have so far lost almost a stone through limiting my food intake since Feb.
    As I then plateaued and stayed the same weight for 4 weeks, I decided to try weight watchers… this was on May 1st…Up to that point, with my own system, I had lost 12 lbs. Weight watchers week one I lost a bit (took me to 1st 1lb lost), then it’s just been adding rather than taking off, so I started reading up on fasting and ended up here. I should probably also say that I am not on any medication, have not seen a doctor for over 10 years (very bad experience) and aside from aches and pains (ageing/menopausal maybe?) I don’t (luckily) seem to have any health problems… yet.

    With my previous system, my food intake was roughly as follows;
    I only drink water/coffee/tea (no sugar), no alcohol.
    Breakfast: Either nothing at all, or I would have 2 boiled eggs and some spinach/veg, no sauces or anything.
    Lunch: Again nothing if I ate breakfast, but if no breakfast, I would have a salad, 50g of cooked cous cous, with a medley of fresh veg (whatever is in the fridge/needs using up) and if I felt I wanted flavour, one of my home baked peanut cookies.
    Dinner: More salad, no dressing, with either steamed salmon or baked chicken breast, or at times (one of my favourites) – mackerel fillets in tomato sauce, one of the small tins you can buy.
    If I wanted a snack later, I’d prepare some celery sticks and cucumber and have them either on their own, raw, or use a small amount of peanut butter (which I love)!

    This has pretty much been the main form of my diet since Feb, of course I switch it about a bit, as it gets insanely boring, but as I’m hungry almost all of the time anyway, I thought maybe doing a fasting diet would work better for me. I try not to eat bread much, though I do love it, but when I’ve been really hungry for days, I’ll mess up and have toast… I wake up thinking about food, I go to bed hungry and thinking about food, I dream about food and at the same time, I’m sick to death of food and it’s starting to scare me.
    Then, the other night, I watched the Horizon programme with Dr Moseley and that’s what brought me here. I’ve ordered the book, so I have some 500 cal recipes to try and I’ll log my progress here after I read it (it’s not arrived yet, should be today!).

    I should probably add that aside from dancing at home (I love to dance), I try not to go out, as I feel so disgusting… but I’ve made my kids a promise that today I will go for a long walk and I will take photos along the way, to prove to them that I did it. If I don’t do it, they are allowed to allocate a task for me to do (such as dancing in front of them, or sit ups (really?!! lol) or something else… worrying how much glee was in their faces at the thought of telling mum what to do if she fails!).
    So I have started asking my family to hold me accountable, which, as I want to make them proud of me (well I know they love me, but ykwim!) I will go for a walk after I finish here, as have no work today. I’m going to ditch the whole WW thing, as though it may work for some, it’s definitely not for me at all.
    I guess I should log some numbers here, so here goes:

    I’m 5′ 4″

    Starting weight – 06.02.19 – 15 st 13.75 lbs
    Pre-WW weight – 01.05.19 – 15 st 1.5 lbs
    Lowest weight – 08.05.19 – 14 st 12.75 lbs
    Current weight – 13.05.19 – 15 st 4.75 lbs

    Total weight loss = 9lbs

    I’m not sure whether to make this a fasting day, as I haven’t eaten at all, just had a coffee and some water so far, but I’m working later in the week and my job is quite physical sometimes, so I don’t want to fast the day before a heavy work day. Is coffee allowed on fasting days? (with a little milk, or does it have to be black coffee?).
    Any comments/advice/help/kindness accepted with thanks, I’ve been reading through others stories and it’s given me hope. Sorry for the very long post! I did warn you of my waffling…

    Note to self: Well done on doing the walk!
    I intended to go for an hour, but managed 25 mins, with a good pace and chose a hilly route that included inclines, dips and straight bits, so I got a bit of everything. It was surprisingly enjoyable, I had shades on, music on my headset and I just ignored anybody who was near me. My ankles started burning (they are weak) around the 20 min mark, so I cut the walk short, but I’ll now do some stretches and hopefully tomorrow I can go again, with less ankle pain. I didn’t run today, as I’m not ‘there’ yet, but maybe that’s something for the future… walking is fine for now.
    I still haven’t eaten anything and my book hasn’t arrived yet, so I’ll see how I go later and decide.

    Penguinchick from a grand father Penguin. I was a fat kid. I did lots of exercise, running, hill walking etc, but stayed overweight. You name a diet system and at some time I tried it. They nearly all worked whilst I was on them, but none of them was sustainable and some had side effects I wouldn’t want to repeat. I read about 5:2 in one of my wife’s magazines and dismissed it as a girly fad. About then my daughter had breast cancer and reading about that I discovered the cancer researchers recommended 5:2 as a healthy way to live. So I tried it. That was several years ago. I am now the thinnest I have ever been (if a BMI of 25 qualifies as thin) and for my advanced age I am very healthy. The cliche you will encounter a lot on these threads is “this isn’t a diet, it is a way of life”. It has become a cliche because we all say it, but it remains true.

    Don’t get hung up on the details. If a fast day occasionally exceeds 500 calories it isn’t the end of the world, over time it will balance out. Use the tracker to work out your daily calorie need (TDEE) for the none fasting days and try not to exceed it. Don’t expect a vast immediate weight loss – a sustained 2 lbs a week seems to be the average. There will be times your weight plateaus and you don’t lose. It doesn’t matter, that won’t last. Stick with this system and it will soon become the way you live. It won’t be hard and it will work. Welcome to our way of life.

    Thank you for your wise words Penguin, I like that I’m not the only Penguin here!
    I like that the whole system is a way of life, I work better with a system, as long as it works for me, so I’m looking forward to giving this a solid go.. I’ve decided that as I’ve still eaten nothing today, this can be my first FD, I haven’t found it too hard so far, yes I’ve had hunger pangs, but I get them all the time anyway, so I’ve learnt to ignore them, drink more water and a hot coffee staves off the hunger for a bit, as I’ve seen many say, the hunger does pass.
    I’m sorry to read about your daughter, I hope things are ok now?
    I will go and work out the TDEE numbers now, as I’ve not done that yet, still waiting for my book! That’ll be my good read for tonight 🙂

    Daughter is fine now thanks. They got it early. You will find your TDEE decreases as you lose weight.

    That’s good news to hear! One of my sisters had a scare at Xmas, but it was benign thankfully. Horrible trial to go through.
    I did my TDEE and have just had a 435 calorie meal, which was incredibly filling, I’ll use that recipe again! My book hasn’t arrived yet, so I made up a recipe and calculated the calories, if I get hungry again later, I can have some raw veg to chew on to make up the missing 65 calories. But not a bad first day so far. I’ll do my next FD on Thursday, as I’m working from tomorrow and I’ll need my energy for the long day.

    I slept really well last night, saved those last calories for a warm (watered down) milk before bed and slept from 11pm through to 6am – I never wake that early without an alarm lol! I did visit the loo a lot, due to the huge intake of fluids yesterday (water mostly and 4 coffees, plus 1 tea and a milk before bed). Lost 2 lbs when I weighed in this morning, though I know this is likely to be fluids, I’ll still take it!

    It’s a non fast day today, but I’ve been very good, so far had less than 900 (good) calories and I’ve not been very hungry. Drank lots (1L) of water through the day as the weather was very warm and took my music out for a longer walk today, changed the route from yesterday and managed almost 50 mins, though I was quite sweaty when I got back! Seem to have done lots of little ‘jobs’ along with work today, so I’ve been very productive and I’ve been quite energetic too, sort of bouncy (aside from the fat wobbles!) and upbeat, so that’s made my day really! I am loving this system (so far), as I don’t feel deprived at all – it’s so much more manageable than what I was doing before and I’ve not actually been thinking about food all day for a change! *Insert big smiley face*!

    You will go to the loo a lot and much of your weight loss will be water. Burning off fat requires water, roughly a three or four to one ratio, so the two pounds you lost yesterday will be about 1.5lb, perhaps 1.7lb water. Who cares? It is still weight loss. I also find that after a fast I sleep well, but not as long.

    FD #2 – Was feeling lots of rumbles in my tummy today, but went and did 1/2 hour exercise session, walked for almost 4 miles at a solid pace (ankles be damned!) and drank lots of water. Have a 450 calorie meal planned for tonight and I’m really looking forward to it today! Lost another 1 lb since last weigh in, so I’m happy with that.. that’s 3 lbs since Monday. I have been very conservative with my meals on non FD’s, as I don’t want to ruin all the work, but I’ve not been hungry very much at all. I really enjoyed a battered cod and sweet potato baked fries last night, the flavour was awesome lol.
    Here’s to the next weigh in! Sleeping really well this week as well (and going to bed much earlier), which is great, as I’m usually a bit of an insomniac.

    FD#3 and one week on 5:2…

    So far I have lost 4 1/4 lbs in this last week, this isn’t ‘1st weight loss’, as I have been calorie managing since Feb, this is the 4 1/4 lbs I gained for the two weeks I tried ww… so I guess I just lost what I gained, but I’m back to a good place and feeling really good about the progress so far. I don’t find the fasting too hard, if I start feeling hungry, I drink water and do something active to keep my mind off thoughts of food. I have celery sticks on hand, which I really like and they are about 6 cal each, so I include those calories in my allowance for the day. I’m sleeping well and doing my daily walks, which range from 30 mins up to 1 hr 15 mins.
    I can see this way of life becoming the norm for me, it really suits me well and I’m so much more chilled about food, which is amazing, considering how obsessive I was starting to be.
    If anyone reads this and is thinking about starting, all I can say is do it.. if you don’t try, you’ll never know and you lose nothing by trying (except lbs! Yay!).

    You are doing well. I think I have your 4 1/4 lbs. We have had a few days away from home. The food was good and we were not following our usual pattern. I do not normally eat breakfast, but it was included and good. However, I have been at the 5:2 long enough to know that the extra weight will soon go.

    Ahh, sorry for those extra lbs, I’ve lost another 1.25lbs since I posted! You will lose it easily as you said! I am so enjoying this way, it’s like a revelation in food management, can’t believe it’s taken me so long to find it lol! I’ve told so many friends about it who are also trying, but the most common comment seems to be “You shouldn’t starve yourself, it’s not healthy!” I think comments like that just mean they are not ready to try, as I’ve explained the facts behind it, the science that supports it and that “look at me, do I look like I’m starving?!”
    Best thing happened to me yesterday, my postman commented that he didn’t recognise me, he thought I was the younger sister of me… Made my day! 😀

    Even on this site you will find there are people with fixed ideas who will not approve of something you do. My approach to weight gain these days is a two or three day zero calorie fluid only fast – works for me, I feel great but there are those who say it is wrong.

    My realisation that my shape had changed came the day I was discussing weight loss with a stranger whilst on holiday and he said “but it is easier for you, you have probably always been slim”. I am still not slim, but the world’s acceptance of what is normal is a lot fatter than it used to be.

    Congrats Penguinchick on your excellent results. I’m having good success with this way of life too. Tried WW’ers some years ago and found I thought of nothing but food!
    Able to focus on adding Fds each week, and forget about dieting the rest of the time.
    I look forward to following your progress.

    Thank you Brambleberry & Penguin for your support, it means a lot to have feedback, as I’m sure you agree!
    I totally agree with your comment re: WW’s Brambleberry, I was becoming obsessed to distraction with worry about ‘how many points’ and ‘how the hell is that 9 points?!!’ – Now I just eat sensibly on my NFD’s and stick to just under 500 or close to on my FD’s.. It’s so easy (from my pov). I think some weight loss programmes will suit some people and others will suit different people, it’s all about finding what works for you I guess, and this most definitely works for me so far 😀
    I should add that I have been walking every single day, which I wasn’t before, so that will undoubtedly have made a big impact on my fat burning, but I feel (sore a bit) so much better and my sleep is just bliss right now.

    I meant to log figures today, as it’s been a week since I started here:

    Starting weight – 06.02.19 – 15 st 13.75 lbs (BMI 38.3)
    – 08.05.19 – 14 st 12.75 lbs
    – 13.05.19 – 15 st 4.75 lbs (Started 5:2 today)
    – 21.05.19 – 14 st 13.5 lbs (BMI 35.9)

    So it’s going in the right direction.
    On my FD’s I drink about 1-1.5 ltr water, a few coffees that I never seem to finish and a warm, watered down milk just before bed.
    I’ve stayed slightly under my 500 calorie limit on FD’s and gone back to my reasonably basic meal plans that I had been doing pre-WW.
    On my NFD’s, I still drink a lot of water (about the same as FD’s) and I sort of watch the calories, but I’m not beating myself up if I eat a peanut cookie (I make them myself with half the sugar the recipe asks for and they’re much nicer!).

    If anybody wants any recipes, I might share some on the recipe section, once I have compiled the list properly. I’m not vegan/vegetarian, but I do eat mostly a vegetarian diet as I’m not a massive fan of a lot of meat, but I do eat a fair amount of fish, both oily and non oily. I’m not a huge fan of eggs either, but I’ve been making myself eat them in place of meat/fish some days and I’ve come to enjoy scrambled and boiled/poached.
    I make up 2-3 salads per week, which have no dressing, but I do sometimes add a teaspoon of balsamic (to an individual portion) or organic apple cider vinegar, along with a big squeeze of fresh lemon juice, to keep the veg from going brown and to add some nice zing to the flavour! Aside from that, I like bananas, but try to eat no more than one or two in any day and I like berries and apples/pears, but due to the sugar content in fruits, I keep them to a minimum and prefer raw vegetables (carrots, cucumber and celery are favourites).
    Naughty treat would be ice cream, but I’ve not had any since February, aside from a teaspoon the other week when the weather was hot.

    Crikey, I do waffle a lot! Sorry 🙂

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