Managing expectations

This topic contains 24 replies, has 17 voices, and was last updated by davidb17 10 years, 6 months ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 25 total)

Humphrey

9:02 am
11 Aug 13
Permalink

I’ve been doing 5:2 for 7 weeks now and have lost 16lbs and am delighted with that, although I have another 1.5-2 stone to go. Fast days are challenging but I can live with it, and in fact look forward to them (although the reality is harder than the anticipation). But what I really wanted to comment on was the expectations raised on the forums – people doing a week or two and being frustrated with lack of progress. I do have sympathy, of course I do, but it took us all a whole lifetime to get to this point, and surely we owe ourselves and our health a reasonable time to get to where we want to be? Healthy, steady weight loss can never be a quick fix. Impatience and frustration are, I suspect, exactly the emotions that send us to the biscuit barrel (or the fish and chips and beer, or whatever). I’m writing this, I suppose, as much for myself as anyone else – a reminder that we have to stick with something to get results. It’s clear that other diets just don’t work in the long term for the majority of us, so we know there is no golden bullet approach that will sort us out for life. I’m hoping that this will. I for one am not going to stomp off like a fretful child wondering why someone else hasn’t an instantaneous magic answer for me. 5:2 seems sensible, workable, liveable with, healthy, and doesn’t require a fortune in fees to some club that thrives off our failure. Am I striking a chord here?

Beavergong

9:16 am
11 Aug 13
Permalink

Thanks for raising this Humphrey for I have been thinking this too. My husband and I have been doing 5:2 for 5 months and have lost 24 and 22 lbs respectively. My cholesterol levels have dropped from 5.9 to 4 and my liver function increased by 100%.
Now our weight loss has slowed but we haven’t put on weight so we continue on because we know this is a good way of living for us not for a week or two but for months and years.

annette52

10:53 am
11 Aug 13
Permalink

I think that it is hard to do something so different and actually believe that it will work. So that it is quite natural after the deprivation of a fast day to expect some change that can be measured.
I was looking for a new approach that would not only rid me of 2 stone that i didn’t need but would also work with the fact that i like to cook and bake and eat. But clearly my notion of what was reasonable was completely out of wack or I wouldn’t have been overweight with high blood pressure in the first place.
It has taken since January to lose 23 lb and 13 inches all over and to reduce my BP considerably.Some weeks I lost nothing, some I put on, some i lost 2 lb.
I am pleased with the result, but also remember the times when I was disappointed that there were weeks when the scales seemed broken or the tape measure didn’t move. It took me ages to see that I was continuing to lose fat but not always where i was measuring. My appearance changed, muffin top went first followed my the squidge at my sides and back.Trying on the same clothes week after week has been as valuable to me as the scales or tape. After all, it took some time to get fat and it’s not unreasonable to expect time to lose it either.This is a marathon and not a sprint.

NattyNeika

1:07 pm
11 Aug 13
Permalink

We, in the west, have instant gratification as a minor god! How did I get so much clutter in my life? Likewise how did i get a bit large?
As a group of people we have been told lots of lies and half truths in order to make money for other people, so we would allow ourselves hostage to “well meaning” people and sometimes ourselves and our short term gains for long term woe. It’s a tale so ancient!
This programme of eating less enjoying food more I think is the kindest way of learning denial and will help in all sorts of ways. In the 1960’s my father used to fast for 5 – 6 days, we thought him a bit odd but as he was a great dad we didn’t think much of it. My dad died in 2002, a “young” 89! Recently my sister-in-law said she remembered him telling her that he would like his children to fast too. Well now I am!
Since I got this way over years I know it will take a while to take it off. It’s funny but I don’t want to gorge on foods I would have in the past. My taste for alcohol and heavy fatty food has gone off.
I think annette52 is right don’t measure or weigh just see trying on the same clothes week after week. Look at Michael’s before and after pix.
Sometimes after all the other failed diets some people place unrealistic expectations on this one which isn’t helpful. Start with low expectations and you’ll do much better and be more impressed!

Fit for life

8:47 pm
11 Aug 13
Permalink

Humphrey, you have definitely struck a chord with your comments. My understanding is that this eating plan is for life; it’s not a quick fix weight loss regime. The interesting thing for me is that the long term health benefits of the 5:2 far out-weigh the benefits of other diets/eating plans, which are purely about weight loss. We’re all individuals and some of us will lose weight quicker than others.

Humphrey

10:41 am
12 Aug 13
Permalink

That’s a relief, then. Not the only one surprised by people wanting and not getting a quick fix. Although I have the hugest sympathies for those who are not shifting any weight in the first few weeks – I dropped an amazing half stone (7lbs) in the first week which was an incredible boost. Since then a pound or a bit more a week. Rather excited today, though – lost a pound that means there’s a different number of stones in the first coulumn in my Fitday diary. And that’s after having visitors for a week and having fish and chips, roast duck and a couple of gingerbread men (not all at once, obv, and I did have 2 fast days as normal)!

Humphrey

1:15 pm
18 Aug 13
Permalink

Another thought to add to the mix about food addiction, or at least a heavy reliance on certain things we like to put in our mouths. I’m very much struck by comments people are making about coffee, chocolate and fizzy drinks in particular, as if they are an absolute necessity in our diets and that we just can’t live without them because if we tried, something would explode. That we don’t eat enough of the good stuff, instead adjusting what we eat to make sure we can have stuff that doesn’t do us any good and in fact in some cases (fizzy drinks in particular, but excess caffeine and sugar too) does us demonstrable harm. I’m thinking that if we have such strong absolutes about certain types of food e.g “I’d die if I didn’t have toast for breakfast/six diet cokes a day/3 large coffees/whatever” that these are probably the foodstuffs we should give up pretty much entirely. How can we be so reliant on these things? Or, how can we THINK we’re so reliant on these things? I think I’d find it next to impossible to give up red meat, for example, but I don’t need or want it every day. I found it too challenging to give up bread in the long term (Thanks Atkins!) particularly as we make all our own from great organic flour and seeds, but again I don’t need it every day. I wonder if just thinking about the things we think are entirely necessary to our survival (but clearly aren’t), might be a good way to rid ourselves of our worst food habits? What do other people think? Again, I think it’s about managing our expectations of the things we think are necessary to us.

Jag23

5:59 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

This is such a great thread – your insights are resonating strongly Humphrey and are also generating thoughtful, considered responses (well so far!). I did the LighterLife programme two years ago and the group therapy that goes with it was extremely helpful. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn how to adopt a long-term healthy lifestyle and a course of medication has contributed to me gaining almost as much as I got rid of. This is only my first week on IF, but I’m encouraged, determined and motivated – particularly by posts such as these. Watch this space!

TidyChick

6:48 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

Humphrey, very true!! I tend to be one of those that wants to give up and obsess and over analyze. This plan really does work. I was so good for about 9 weeks and lost the 20 lbs I have wanted to for so long. Then, it’s like something happens in me where I have to start falling off the bandwagon and immediately, those old negative thoughts and doubts creep in again.

My brain knows this way of eating work, makes you thinner and healthier, etc. But I am having a really rough time right now and have gained 4 lbs. I go crazy with sweets and seem to have no control, in spite of this great forum with plenty of tips, advice and knowledge. Not sure how to have bad days without slipping into my old patterns and habits.

I just realized I am doing now what you were talking about to begin with!! Anyone else going through this? It’s a very discouraging and lonely feeling.

wiltldnrUSA

7:03 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

hi TidyChick,

yes & i think we all do

i know i do

what i’ve decided that sunday is guilt free feastday
i countcals but that’s me

i don’t care life’s is 2 short

if i go way overboard what i luv about this lifestyle is
u can do whatever u want maybe add another fastday or
not

what’s amazing is most diets u just give up 4ever
& super guilt & bad bad person w/ bad habits

this lifestyle w/out u knowing it or lecturing u
just inadvertently eases u 2 a healthy lifestyle

w/ nice sprinkles of decadence on top

my mom always said if u r down & discouraged go volunteer

Bev123

8:22 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

TidyChick,

Try L Glutamine every time you get a sugar craving. It will help.

Humphrey

8:25 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

Goodness, all your responses to this thread are so valuable. That temptation to go “off piste” tidychick will resonate with so many, but that momentary pleasure in “giving in” gives so much pain later. How we learn to say no to ourselves, however is so much easier with 5:2, because we can have it tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes and it’s no longer quite so appealing, or indeed we’ve forgotten what the raging “need” was. It’s all about being told/telling yourself you can’t have something. Every child knows that if you can’t have something then you want it desperately. What a contrary species we are. But as this way of eating allows us to just put things off til tomorrow I think we stand a much better chance of success. With other diets you can’t ever have it! That packet of crisps is still in the pantry and it so spoke to me on my last fast day.

Jag23 I’ve always had a lack of faith in food alternatives (Slim fast etc) so have never been tempted by Lighter Life and the ilk, just because you have at some point to start eating real food, so it is unsustainable – I think this way may be the answer for many of us where other methods have failed, as long as we take the long view. But I understand the emotions that send some of us in that direction. I love to cook, love to eat, have access to amazing produce and that’s a privilege; I just need to curb what has always been a fairly mighty appetite and ratchet things back. 5:2 is certainly helping. I can’t believe I can manage on 500 cals twice a week. But I can. Today I had a nectarine at lunch and for supper king prawns stir fried in a splosh of chilli oil with home grown onion, aubergine, courgette and french beans. Do I feel stuffed? Yes. Do I feel hard done by? No. Here’s to us all sticking with it.

Beavergong

9:41 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

Well said Humphrey here’s to all sticking with it!

TidyChick

9:54 pm
22 Aug 13
Permalink

Bev123,

Awesome! I will definitely try that. Thanks for the tip!

Jassey

2:52 am
7 Sep 13
Permalink

What a fantastic thread!
Expectations are such an important part of the mix. I guess I came in to this quite guardedly, initially liking the idea of the health benefits. Had kind of given up on the idea of losing weight being menopausal with about 20+kgs to loose- too hard. Thought I would suss this approach out as I went along and thats been the beauty of it for me, nothing to loose- so to speak- by giving it a try. But I have lost weight in the process- 7kgs over about 20 weeks- slowly but not discouragingly (is this a word?!) I feel better physically -whether from the weight loss or the fasting I’m not sure (prob both)- and feel more positive and mentally sharp -which I feel is due to the fasting. These are motivation enough for me without worrying about the scales so much.
I hope you are all continuing to find benefits from sticking with it. Good luck to all!

fast for life

3:36 pm
8 Sep 13
Permalink

hope no one minds me bumping this thread, i think its a shame to let such a valuable post get lost in this growing forum x

saraann

3:49 pm
8 Sep 13
Permalink

Thanks for bumping it up fast for life or I would have missed this. I have just ended my first week and lost 3.6lbs. I can’t tell you how amazed I am as I have battled with my weight since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I did this “diet” as wanted to become more healthy and didn’t expect it to have such an effect on my weight. I will see this is a change of life. Don’t get me wrong losing the weight is just amazing but I actually enjoyed the fast days as it was the first time I felt no pressure or anxiety about what I was eating. I am also feeling brighter in my self and yes this might be all in my head but I don’t care. My thyroid is acting up again but for the first time I am ok about this because I know I am doing the right thing for my body. My doctor approves and is watching me carefully to see what happens and if it goes well he would feel comfortable talking to his other patients about it. Just wanted to add to the cheer leading squad!!! x

Pally666

5:17 pm
8 Sep 13
Permalink

I did weight watchers about 5 years ago and lost 4 stone but I was unable to keep it off as I wanted to be able to eat all the foods that I love.
This 5:2 will work because I am happy to go without sweets on a fast day but can have them on a feast day (I LOVE ALL SWEETS), I don’t eat low fat food or diet drinks as I think the sweeteners are really bad for you but this way I can have that slice of cake if I really want it.
The one thing I have noticed is I don’t want to eat much the day after a fast but I want something and can’t put my finger on exactly what I want which is a bit frustrating.
I was really fat when my brother got married in 2006 and now my niece is getting married next year I have vowed that I will not be fat ever again for the wedding photos. 11 months to go.

Cathyork

5:41 pm
8 Sep 13
Permalink

I think what appeals to me is that it is just so sensible, costs nothing (in fact it probably saves money) and it works. It is a challenge when fasting – but only for part of 1 day at a time. As I save all my calories and have a nice evening meal on fast days the ‘deprivation’ is really only for 10-12 hours twice a week, but I am getting in 2 x 24 hour fasts.

Like others I have lost weight before, mainly through a combination of healthy eating, portion control and exercise. Luckily I don’t have a sweet tooth, but I love food – both cooking and eating out – but in the past I have depended on a settled routine to stick to this and keep my weight down.

3 years ago my job changed and I started doing a lot of business travel, which disrupted my planned eating and then hip/back problems put paid to my ability to exercise as before, so gradually I gained back everything I had previously lost.

I am really enthusiastic about this diet because it just flexes with your circumstances. This week I have to travel from the UK to Sweden for work so I intend to have my fast days on my travel days and have salads or similar in the hotel in the evening. No-one really notices that you are doing anything different as most of the time you aren’t, but you still feel in control. And if the loss slows or you gain you can just add another fast day to get back on track.

I had 3.5 stone to lose. I have dropped half a stone in 3 weeks and am aiming to drop a further 1-1.5 stones by January when I am finally getting a new hip – so by next summer I hope to see a slimmer and fitter me!

Jassey

11:13 am
15 Sep 13
Permalink

Pally666 I also was a member of a weight loss club for a year or so, lost 10kgs but became absolutely obsessive. Having to weigh everything and tick off so many serves of this and that just wasn’t good for me. It probably wasn’t a good fit with me being a believer in whole foods and pretty anti artificial sweeteners etc- so not really their fault!

Agreed Cathyork that flexibility is one of the great attributes of this approach and think thats what makes it doable over the long term.
You are not not wrong about it costing nothing. I think my food bills have halved, I don’t eat nearly as much throughout the week and don’t feel like eating red meat as much as I used to either. I’ve also noticed I’m not inclined to binge at certain times of the month which has been a strong pattern for me all my life (well- since my teenage years!)

Hope you all are on track and feeling good:)

Humphrey

8:39 am
8 Oct 13
Permalink

I haven’t posted in a while as I’ve been ultra busy, but I have been keeping up my 5:2 and have now lost 5 inches off my waist and 21 lbs down in 15 weeks, BMI 28.59 (down from 32). Still have to get another 6 inches off my waist and 19 lbs off to get to healthy weight and waist range, but it’s all happening, slow but sure. Arms, legs, face/chin, shoulders, wrists and fingers all noticeably slimmer, but I am an apple shape so must persevere to get rid of that dangerous inner fat. I feel like I plateau but then a few weeks later see my scales move closer to the next half stone marker and see it’s working. Good luck everyone.

davidb17

10:52 am
8 Oct 13
Permalink

hello Humphrey, started FD 07/10/2013 hope I can match you you seem to be doing everything right!

ozmel

12:47 am
9 Oct 13
Permalink

I’ve just started the 5:2 well I’ve done 1.5 weeks when I got on the scales and Id gained .5kg I felt so disheartened but your post made me feel better Humphrey. I run do weights and hot yoga but nothing shifts the weight. I hope this works:)

Nads77

4:53 am
10 Oct 13
Permalink

This website is so inspiring! I am planning on getting started tomorrow on this plan. I want to get healthier as well as having an extra 10kg to move. I just have zero energy at the moment and am sick of counting calories/points etc etc. I am in NZ and happened to stumble across an article about 5:2 in a Womans mag at lunchtime today only to see that there is also a doco about it on telly tonight – fate? I think so!! I’m sure its the sign (aka the kick in the butt) I needed. I already have days where I barely eat anything as I’m too busy so I know I can survive those days, but I have a terrible tendency to decide I’m going to eat well and then ALL I can think about is food, it’s ridiculous! So here I go…….

davidb17

5:13 am
10 Oct 13
Permalink

Good luck Nads.