2nd post – (warning – long read)

Okay, in light of wonderful community input, I’ll share something I’m mulling over how to respond. I have a friend, with whom I’ve had quite the interesting history. We met when I moved in to a duplex close to her; so we were neighbors initially back about 2003 or 04. She had begun having exchange students and would pop over to ask “parenting” questions from time to time. I was going through a separation and subsequent divorce after 2 children and 27 years of marriage. She’d never been married. We were both teachers, went to the same church for a while… we had a few things in common and we began doing things together including travelling for shorter and longer trips: overnight to 4 or 5 days. I enjoy her spirit of adventure… but have noticed that when we’re together too long, things go sideways. In the past she’s been downright mean and I distanced myself from her. She did apologize and things were better for a season; more thoughtful and kind in her comments.. I started doing more with her again but 3 days at the ocean became horrible (it was too long). I’ve taken to agreeing to shorter visits, but have turned down her invitation for longer travels including a cruise. I just traveled to her city this past weekend but stayed at a motel instead of at her place so I could have a more peaceful stay (though a free night would have been nicer on the budget). I posted some pictures on Facebook from a visit to a park on the weekend visit. She posted “when was I there?” Then later she sent me a private msg asking if I’m upset with her. That she’s having vibes that I am but she’s hoping it’s just because I’m busy..
I’m not sure of the best way to respond. If we had a healthier friendship, I could be quite forthcoming. Seeing she has proven to not always be a “safe” person to be around, I’m afraid that being too open with her might hurt rather than help. The simplest is to agree with her that life’s busy. The truth is that I have boundaries in place regarding our time together, for my protection. I even choose electronic communication instead of a phone call at times, for example.
Some of the ways I feel when we’re together harken back to how I sometimes felt when I was in my verbally, emotionally abusive marriage. I feel like I have to give a rationale for how I am. Why do I need to explain myself to her? “She’s not the boss of me.” Maybe I just need to let her know that we do life differently. Just not sure… Friends don’t grow on trees, so I don’t want to be hasty..

Looks like our posts crossed @michelinme so putting myself back on 🙂

Day 10 pocket list

@funshipfreddie
@daffodil2010
@prina39
@snowflake56
@ktcaroline
@flourbaby
@missybear
@johnnyr
@michelinme
@jaifaim
@at
@basyjames
@ccco
@rabbette
@annemarilyn

2nd post.

@annemarilyn – I agree and would just say life if busy right now. and just because friends don’t grow on trees doesn’t mean you have to keep all the things grown on the tree. I’m not keeping rotten apple to bake my pie. If you distance yourself then it will give you time and space to make friends with someone who is not mean to you. I don’t stay friends with anyone who is mean to me. I mean a disagreement once in a while is ok, but jeez we are all adults it is uncalled for to just be mean.

So keep your boundaries – you know what you need to do.

Your friend,
from the other side of the USA – Rabbette

Day 10 Ohio, US — MFD

The MFD has gone well. The energy levels are still low, although things started to improve this afternoon when the weather started to clear. Then clouds moved back in this evening and I’ve had a big energy drain. I think right now allergies to molds are what’s hitting me hardest. We’ve had such a long run of rainy, cloudy weather that I think that the mold levels have sky-rocketed. Fortunately we’ve not had major flooding, but it has just been so rainy that the farmers haven’t been able to put any crops in. It’s getting to be too late to do that this year, so a lot of the bigger farmers are calling in their insurance and won’t be planting. The smaller farmers, who can’t afford insurance, are in a quandary. They’ve already bought the seed, but now can’t get into the fields to plant it. It may be a pretty thin year for a lot of the family farms in this area.

In any case, keep plugging away everyone!

Day 10 California NFD

It was pretty hot yesterday (and today) so the fast day was really easy. Today I ate a large cookie but it was really good!

Day 11: Gloucestershire, UK, NFD:

What miserable, autumnal weather…..stormy, grey, and the RAIN we’ve had! Who would believe it should be the middle of summer?
Anyway, sorry I can’t catch up on the posts yet as I have to rush off to work, or I’ll be late.
See you later xx

Day 11 – Melbourne Aus – FD

Slightly indulgent weekend in Sydney for a long weekend, but back to it today.

Have been incredibly busy so struggling to keep up with posts, but skimming when I have time, and definitely still here.

Pocket List Day 11
@daffodil2010
@gretta

Day 11 – Ireland – FD
Hi all, I’m back on the list today… didn’t do too badly yesterday but another FD today as the latter part of the week is looking busy…
You are so right @michelinme I do need to take it easy and schedule a weekend of nothing but it’s hard at the moment with lots of ties on my time.. full time work doesn’t help either but it got to be done… 🙄.
I’m sinusy today but absolutely put this down to increased sugar intake and some alcohol over the past while… cutting it out again from today… it’s not rocket science but it so easy to slip back into bad habits..
@annemarilyn over the past 10 years one or two of my “friends” showed their true colours in terms of selfishness /self obsessedness and I have pretty much cut ties with them… I have one very good friend who can be quite cutting from time to time even though she is in a caring profession and I plan to tell her the next time that it’s just not on.. but I must do it in the moment rather than let it fester.. they then have no idea what you’re talking about if too much time has passed since the comments were made…so I would say next time you can.. nip it in the bud! None of us need people draining our positivity and energy..as @rabbette says sometimes people can be cruel in a moment or in a disagreement and lots of people have lots going on in their lives but when it affects you negatively on an ongoing basis then it’s time to walk away… there are so many good people out there just waiting to be your friend 😁

Pocket list for today:
@daffodil2010
@jaifaim

Onward and downward ⬇️
We rise by lifting others 💕

Day 8, NFD
Day 9, NFD
Day 10, FD800
Day 11, FD500

At work atm so only a quickie. Will catch up with all the posts later.

Have a good day everyone!

Day 11 California FD

Fell into a bag of cheese puffs last night and boy does my stomach hurt this morning! No more cheese puffs for me.

Very hot here today so not eating should be easy.

Pocket list for today:
@daffodil2010
@jaifaim
@johnnyr
@rafiki44

Day 11, London, UK, NFD.

Late check-in from me today.

Did anyone get washed away yesterday???? The torrential 24hr rainstorm did nothing for my mood yesterday, I had to swap my salad for soup ……………………… thanks for the update on your 24° weather @funshipfreddie, I really, truly needed to read about it, no really, I did!!!!

I’m finding OMAD has become a habit and the dragon isn’t roaring until about 4pm, do I want to have a peppermint tea and ignore him or just break my fast and then have dinner at 6:30-ish???? I don’t want to plateau, but I don’t want to give in to dragon roars when they’re just the whingeing kind, rather than the ‘I’m about to pass-out’ kind!!!

@basyjames …………………….. WOW; EPIC water fasting!!!! Good Luck!!! I’m at home today too, and it’s sooooo controlled I’m once more patting myself on the back & polishing my halo!!!!

LOL, @johnnyr ………………………….. Voodoo Volterol …………………………. My bruised coccyx agrees!!!

Stay strong everyone & keep the faith, this really does work, never doubt that!!!

Day 11 UK CD

Yesterday lunchtime main meal worked well, had some soup & apple at supper time & slept like a log for 9.5hrs! Today out early for bi-annual haircut (!) and then trustees meeting from lunchtime -yay for staff who support dietary preferences! Amazing to be able to swerve the crisps, biscuits, sandwiches in favour of a salad bowl, dark chocolate and clementines 🙂

Came home via the charity shop and spent a lovely hour browsing, inc chat with staff member who noticed how much weight i’d lost – turns out she’s just started 5:2 and has lost 7kg since Christmas! I came away with two new tops, one size 10 (!!!!) and one size 14 🙂 Two years & 38lbs ago I was just about into a stetchy 18. Nuff good news for one day – quick supper, bath & early bed time as i pace myself through the busy patch.

Lovely to read posts and catch up…
Way to go @basyjames and @annemarilyn with your epice WFDs 🙂
@daffodil2010 nil desperandum – your experience, ideas and learning out loud is always so inspiring – thank you!
@jaifaim hang in there… sometimes I put QNI into my diary – quiet night in. Useful reminder to actually schedule time out (or in!). And on the diary chart on my wall I colour code the days/activities – green for those which feed & restore me, making sure there’s one green chunk a week x

For those of you on FDs – good luck / well done / any useful learning points? Onwards & downwards x

Day 11 – Eastern WA USA – WFD

@hedwig6 I believe you meant to start a day 11 FD but you put yourself on the end of Day 10. If you start a new day, please note it clearly so you don’t get dropped off 🙂

I’m at hour 41 of 96 or so, as I write @penz. Yes day 1 is usually the roughest. Got to get the momentum 🙂 . Also, I think I prepared well on Sunday with the LCMPHF food. The iced sparkling water with some flavoured vinegar, helped me over the “dinner” hour yesterday. This morning I put a “little” pink salt under my tongue for electrolytes. I don’t need much. That plus some water and today has felt good. Even made some Strawberry Rhubarb Chia Jam w/o tasting it; just stuck it in the fridge when done 🙂

@penz – you asked what a Party Trolley was. Here in Spokane, it is a cycle powered trolley that holds 8-16 people for the type of event you want. My friend wants it suitable for her teenage grandkids as well us adults, so there will be different stops than someone hiring it for a Pub crawl. Some of our stops will be historical she says. Each event is customized according to the customer’s desire. I realized this morning that the event isn’t until next Thursday so I’ll be able to finish our our 96 hour WFD just fine hopefully.

@funshipfreddie – great on those BP numbers. I agree, traditional medicine focuses on meds so quickly. I’m glad you were able to bring things into the “optimal” range through a healthy means.

@michelinme – What great choices they had available at your meeting! Also, I love how you colour code your schedule so you’re more likely to keep balanced. Excellent idea!

Thank you @rabbette, @daffodil2010, @jaifaim, @johnnyr, @basyjames, @ciren2, @metatauta and others, for your input regarding my friend issue. I appreciate it. @arelkade – I’m sorry you’re dealing with similar regarding your sister. One difference – she’s family. But even there, there are times for boundaries with them. I have a brother who deals with chronic mental illness plus for a time he mixed his meds with alcohol… he became very nasty. He needed to be held accountable for his actions. I told him I’d be welcome to communications from him when he could be respectful… So there was a season of distance. That is now at a healthy place, and there has been reconciliation.
I’m processing as to how much energy I want to continue to put into this relationship because friends, in the end, are a choice, whereas family are not. I’m thinking I will msg back that it is mostly due to busyness at the moment. Then if another episode comes up, I can directly confront how she’s coming across. This last weekend I made the decision to go to a hotel so I wouldn’t have to deal with her, as I contemplated the way things have gone in the past rather than a specific thing this time. BTW, I had a truly relaxing time. When I’m with her, even at the ocean that is so therapeutic for me, she can only relax a short while, then wants to go on to shops, and… always wants to do the next thing. I’ve sometimes thought she has attention deficit.. Anyway thanks so much for your thoughts.

Pocket list day 11, here we come
@hedwig6
@daffodil2010
@jaifaim
@johnnyr
@rafiki44
@basyjames
@gretta
@georgia83
@annemarilyn

Day 11 USA (Utah visiting) NFD

Doing a couple 16:8 days that are working well. Even lost a couple pounds by DD’s scale. Yeah for that! It might be that I don’t tend to snack as much staying here as I do at home.

@at — I thought @basyjames had great advice for you. Maybe you just need to be completely honest with her, even if it does end a relationship. It sounds to me like you’ve gone on with other friends anyway?

Onward and downward.

Second post 75 hours…and counting since my last meal and I’ve reached the point in my fast where I don’t feel the need to eat.
I made a lovely BLT salad with chicken and avocado for hubby and was not tempted to partake. I just wish I wasn’t so cold…

See you in the morning

Day 11, Rocky Mountains, US, CD

Late post. Lots going on. Not being able to read all the posts. But I will eventually. I love reading them.
Did not drink enough today and I am having a headache. Going to bed soon.😴

Have a good Wednesday everyone! ⚘⚘⚘

Day 11, VA, USA, O-M-G! NFD, EFS!

It was a NFD, but jeeeez I didn’t want it to be EFS with snacks!

I have some tears in my eyes. Because I realized I am a binger! I never really saw it or understood it, but I fell into it today. The good thing tho – I realize I have NOT done a really bad one since February when I started this WOL. But wow to see it and actually FEEEEEEL it. Oh dear how did I ever eat so much! What on earth!

I didn’t know what I was doing was called binging. I happen to look up that word today and was floored that I fit the description!

I feel embarrassed and ashamed, but I need to face it or I can’t change it! If the scale pauses, I only have myself to thank. BUT its ok. Realizing it means I can do something about it. Looking up a game plan for next time should I start to feel this happen. Maybe go for a short walk to stop the cycle. Or go look outside at my plants and take a moment to pick the weeds.

I was going to fast from lunch till the next day after. But I decided since tomorrow is my scheduled FD – I had a broth soup with veggie tonight.

Presssssing REEEEEEESET!

Day 12 – Reading, UK – CD

Hi everyone – as always I’m inspired by your posts. I’m having a bit of a rough time getting back to it, though. My mood seems to be all over the place, so a couple of dips have meant I couldn’t get my head around cutting calories. Not like me, but I guess we are all human. Maybe its this cold, horrible weather? So doing the best I can, and glad I’m here to be accountable to you lot. As for relationships – difficult aren’t they? I can relate to all the chat about the problems.

Day 12, Gloucestershire, UK, NFD:

Day off today, but also it’s NOT raining! Just dull and grey (again). Had to leave my poor little car in the exhaust and tyre centre today. The exhaust needs the back two-thirds replacing…..more expense! My car IS 18 years old though so can’t complain really.

Have a good day everyone out there xx

Day 12 – South Africa 🇿🇦 – FD

I went a bit mad on my NFD yesterday. Not an EFS exactly, but I think I went over my TDEE. EFS?!😅 A new acronym I’ve just learned! Never mind; I just need to be extra mindful over the next two FDs. It would be nice to shift another half-kilo this week.

@flourbaby – oops? Wasn’t trying to wind you up, but you know how we Brits love to talk about the weather 😉. Going up to 27° today, with a 40% chance of rain after 6pm. Not bad for winter!

Best wishes to today’s fasters!

‘Strive for progress, not perfection’

Day 12, UK, NFD
65.6kg

I hope everyone is having a nice day today, pouring outside so badly it feels like we are back to winter time.

Scales not too punishing today despite the weekend (went to a festival and there were burgers/icecream/pick&mix involved).

Healthy food so far today and will even go out for dinner with friend.

Good luck to todays fasters! x

Day 12, Melb Aust FD800

End of day here, but managed to keep the calories down as needed. After a few days of feeling really pressured, realised the impact that was having on my eating – BAD! CD yesterday helped, and pleased to keep the cals down today. I’ll be interested to see what my weight is doing on Saturday – I know I’m at least 1 kg over my June start weight, but by Saturday, that should have improved.

@funshipfreddie, well done re the BP – no meds, great!

@rabbette, sympathise with the binge, but you’ve pressed reset, and that’s important. Just let it be and move on from here (like me!).

Happy fasting everyone. No point me adding myself to the pocket list, as it’s after 11 p.m. here.

Day 12, VA, USA, FD

Feeling better, but I must be all out of wack. So I teach a class at 8:30am, I leave my house at 7:50ish to get there to teach. Well, Oh My goodness where is my brain? I went to bed last night and set my clock to wake me at 8:25am (yes obviously I see that is NOT what I mean now. I meant to set it at 7:25am) however I even woke up a bit before it, but it didn’t register in my brain until I got in the car (which i tend to leave my house around 10of … 8 It didn’t dawn on me till it turned 9:00 in my car. I literally had to pull over because I was so confused. My brain was still trying to figure out what I did.

I can not believe I did this, I called the place up and let them know, that apparently my brain is not working right b/c I set my clock wrong and just well didn’t realize I had it an hour behind.

Sigh

I wonder if it was from the stress of yesterday? Well it gives me time to chat with you guys this morning.

@penz – ★·.·´¯·.·★ Thank You! ★·.·´¯·.·★.

I get them from a site called https://coolsymbol.com/text-decoration.html

@daffodil2010 – The only thing I can think of… is My SO was not feeling well, they were having stomach issues since the night before (My SO is 6ft tall and very lean) so I think I tend to worry when they get ill *actually I guess thats when I tend to eat all the snacks. Hummmm My kitty got ill I ate picked at stuff all day that day to eat. Thanks for asking, I’ll try and keep that tigger in mind (and a game plan to out wit it) maybe drinking broth all day. I would drink tea, but for some reason if I am feeling that kind of stress I don’t want tea. I want something salty.

@basyjames – I felt nauseous too from WFD usually the I think it was the 3rd day when I woke up. Well I remembered to do the pink salt under the tongue (and I then WANTED water) I was able to drink down an 8oz glass fairly easily and felt much better. Get your salt!

@johnnyr and @basyjames – Ha pocket LUST!

@betsylee – Yes reset! I’ll add you to the list and I’ll think about what you said!

Day 12 pocket lust
@johnnyr
@funshipfreddie
@flourbaby
@basyjames
@betsylee
@rabbette

“Don’t regret or fret, just press reset.” – Rabbette

Day 12 UK CD

Just realised I’ve not eaten yet! V tired from yesterday and got stressed preparing for an unexpected skype meeting first thing… which then ran until 1230! Since then been digging through piles of old files trying to put together documents as milestones covering 8 years of work… now surrounded by heaps of paper and not done the things I’d meant to do – including eating!!

Time to have a little tidy and refocus, stretch & make some late lunch then write up work list, prioritise and schedule. Some things need to get done/out today: imperfect=good enough – including my meal plan!

However unexpected the things of they day, let’s aim to make good choices x