Thanks Beverley!

There is a ‘joke’ in our family that I went to bed one night, aged bout 11, with a flat chest….and woke up the next morning a size 36C…and kept on growing!…I actually got to the size where I couldn’t buy a bra to fit – especially difficult as I need an almost pure cotton bra….I was thrilled to lose enough weight to be able to buy from Ample Bosom!

You should definitely keep a diary…..I started this one so that I can have a reference for when I get disheartened! It is good to see how fart I have come!

Good luck for Tuesday’s weigh-in!

Here we go again…another Sunday!

The tummy and skin problems are still here, but are settling down. It has been somewhat draining, but I have tried to stay productive – and keep my mind off tasty high-fat snacks! (In the past, when I get days when I can barely move, it has been so easy to eat…and eat…and eat!)I have kept my knitting basket and my sewing bag close to hand, as well as my puzzle book and my Kindle!

Another cold week – salads are losing their appeal, but there are lovely hot soups to comfort me instead. Lots of warming spices to eat up food is always good, doubly so in cold weather…so a dash of wasabi in my homemade fishcakes, chilli in the tomato sauce for pasta, and loads of black pepper in my no fat/low cal veggie soup.

I have found an amazing spicy ketchup – just a little goes a long way…I currently love it brushed onto low fat sausages before grilling mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..and I’m very happy to see Brussels Sprouts are coming into the shops now. I do love sprouts!

Now….I think I would like a fanfare for today please…and a big drum roll…..yes, it is time for the recording of the weight!….and…..

14 Stone ….13.2 pounds

*Does the Snoopy Happy Dance

I didn’t really expect that so soon! I am under the 15 stone mark! Okay it is only JUST under….but I’m there!

Okay so it’s not my usual update/weigh-in day!

It’s been a tough week or so in many ways!

First of all, the tummy issues have flared up – some sort of bug going around. It is so draining and I just feel all bleargh!….and this run-down feeling is probably what has brought on the skin issues…..PERFECT!

Then….big family birthday time. I know I can cope with this…arrange the fasting for non-celebration days wherever possible. Enjoy one slice of my favourite cake and then sip loads of coffee!…But then the relatives arrive!!!!! On the whole, I actually have a good family, we are closer than many families….but there are times when I just can’t take ANYONE!

One of the relatives arrived and was moaning about her weight (yes, she mentioned the fact that I seem a little lighter!!!!)…Firstly, of all the family she has the LEAST to worry about weight wise (and I KNOW it is all relative, for a skinalgee like her then a few pounds IS a big deal!…she probably is seriously upset about it!)…and she has some GORGEOUS clothes that his the surplus pounds…..And then there is another family member who has lost weight and everyone, I mean EVERYONE is commenting on it! My loss is slow but steady and this suits me, so why am I jealous of her fantastic results? 4 stone off in a few months!!!!

No I will NOT be jealous!…..I have tried on the jeans again….reminding myself that they have a ZIP!….and I can wear a bra!…and look at those Ps I bought….from the HIGH STREET (not the usual outsize catalogue!)…No jealousy needed (well just a little???) I have done well!

I have treated myself to a new jigsaw puzzle…something to keep my fingers out of the biscuit tin in the evenings!….and there was a sale of Kindlebooks, so I have a couple of thrillers to keep me busy too…..as well as my usual craft projects.

I found a recipe for a curried fish dish that sounds as if I could adapt it to fit a fasting day…white fish, which I will marinade in joghurt and curry spices before baking…served with cauliflower ‘rice’…the recipe includes coconut and almonds which I will ignore…or maybe add a few slivers of flaked almond near the end of cooking for flavour and crunch?

No weight record for today!….I am so bloated with the tummy bug and seriously don’t need to see how much the gas weighs!!!!!

It is Sunday afternoon…and it is SO cold!….Slushy cold rain for 2 days solid! And isn’t getting dark really early!….Most scary of all though…it is advent next week….how did THAT come around so quickly?!!!!

Right …first thing…thanks for the lovely comments! Sometimes I just find family a little difficult to cope with…much as I love them all to bits!

Whatever the tummy bug I had/have was it was darned persistent! It has apparently hit a few of the people in this housing block. Some of the folks here are pretty old and infirm – so I guess I’ve been lucky to get away with it so lightly!

I took a couple of coats to the charity shop….there was still a lot of ‘wear; in them but they were just hanging off me (5XL…and trust me, I never want to be that size again!)….maybe someone else will be able to make use of them.

I’ve been eating lots of soups this last week or so…sausage, tomato and barley is a favourite (one low fat sausage per portion) with loads of spices, so warming and filling.

I bought some plums which didn’t seem to want to ripen…so I poached them – no sugar just a little cinnamon. Delicious on top of porridge in the morning…and equally good with a blob of home made joghurt on as a snack when watching Strictly……one of the very few times I allow myself the luxus of a snack when watching TV!

So…it was back onto the scales this morning…not without a great deal of nerves…..it’s been a week or so….closed my eyes as I stepped on…then squinted to see the result….

14 stone…13.2 pounds

It’s the same!….I didn’t put on despite the bloating!…..I am still under the 15 stone! (Who’d have thought I’d feel this good on a stay-the-same week!)

Strict planning needed for the next month…4 weeks of Advent…and that means coffee and a little ‘something’ every Sunday….thankfully the Plan allows for that – and I don’t generally have Sunday as a fast day.

(I don’t DO fixed targets…but sometimes allow a flexible ‘hope’…..o, maybe I could get to 14 1/2 stone for the New Year?…..even if I don’t make it I will be closer to it than I am now!…being under 15 stone is still pretty unbelievable!)

Here we go again…Sunday….and 2nd Sunday in Advent.

The weather has got a little warmer but not much! Last night was pretty windy – it was howling all night! Thankfully it is not raining so far this morning.

I had a dental appointment this week – just a check up but I am a total wuss with the dentist. I was hoping for a super-doper weight loss this week as I think I must have sweated at least a stone away in the day or so before the appointment!!!! …..(Yes, I know it is unlikely I actually sweated that much….and even if I did, the weight would go back on with the first glass of water….but you’d think there would be SOME compensation for braving the dentist chair!) No immediate treatment needed, but I have a slight crack in one back filling and will have to go back in February to have that seen to. UGH!

It is St Nicholas’ Day today…and according to tradition the good old Saint visits good children and leaves a small gift for them in their slipper….I had a phonecall from Mum last night – she said that St Nicholas can’t manage the stairs up to my second floor flat (there IS a lift!!!!!!) but he has left a small token for me with her! She will come round for Coffee (or possibly Cocoa) and Cookies later this morning…..I have a Hotel Chocolat Caramel Snowflake for her (and will tell her St Nicholas DID come up her and left it for her!)…I love these old traditions!

Other than indulging in plenty of Advent goodies (only on non-fast days!) I have been careful with my food intake this week – ensuring that I stay within my TDEE. …..But have still enjoyed warming food – including comfort food like fish pie and thick pea soup…and curry, which I can also adapt for fast days!

So…..the weigh in….

6 December……14 stone….11.8 pounds

Oooooh that looks like just about a pound and a half off! (Three packets of butter!!!)….Slow but sure!….And it encourages me that I can open my special Christmas box of Turkish Delight (not chocolate covered!) and enjoy a chunk tonight when watching the Strictly dance off (Good to see Jay is still there…love his dancing) – I just adore the fact that I am able to enjoy my pre-Christmas treats (in moderation!) and still lose weight!

Sunday again….4th in Advent….nearly Christmas!

How lovely top get a target reward ikandoo! Coloured pens are great….although maybe not glitter for me! …I recently bought a lovely tin of faber Castell blendable crayons.

It has been a hectic week…I am never the most energetic of people – I struggle to even move some days – and there is so much to do in getting ready for Christmas!

I have managed to get into the town centre to hear the choir which was nice….but I missed seeing Santa arrive with his reindeer. (Although I always insist that Santa doesn’t have reindeer…he has a donkey!……but German traditions aside, I do love seeing the reindeer most years!)

Lots of Advent goodies have been on offer this week…on non-fast days I have been careful with my choices, but haven’t denied myself my favourite treats. (Mum’s homemade marzipan ‘bearpaws’ – flattened rolls half-dipped in dark chocolate -were the BEST she’s ever made!)

I have managed my two fasting days – porridge in the morning – very filling and comforting! And a tasty dinner at night…first evening I had chicken with Thai spices and green beans…and then last night I had a seriously spicy chilli(no rice though, I had it on a mound of green veg!)

Now, onto the scales this week….

14 stone…. 10.5 pounds

Oooooh! That is very nearly a pound! Fantastic!

Jay wins Strictly (that young man has hips that are positively indecent!) AND I lose the best part of a pound! Great week!

Not sure what will happen this week…I am planning on fitting in at least one fast day before Christmas Day….lots of visitors expected for coffee and present exchanges (and no German EVER does coffee without cake…not in my experience!)….still I will do my best…and the great thing is that if the ‘worst’ happens and I put on a pound…then I will lose it again…no major worries!

Yes I know it is a Saturday…but the week has been one of ‘those’ weeks!

My lovely old relative has been back in hospital again…but is out again and thankfully seems to be on the mend! But it all adds to the stress, and as we all know, stress = food!

Then the colder weather has hit…and that means my body starts whimpering for a little comfort food…thankfully I have been doing this 5:2 way of life long enough now to be able to find a compromise!….Veggie Pasta (I do love my spiralizer!) courgettes are my favourite, with tasty tomato (and garlic!) based sauces is very comforting and even possible on a fast day!….when I REALLY need the comfort hit then a banana with a little bit of instant custard hits the spot – I keep a jar of the instant stuff ready for those sorts of comfort-me-NOW! moments, you can make just a spoonful at a time!…

Lovely bit of encouragement yesterday…I popped down to visit Mum for a cuppa and was wearing a fleecy top…’that’s nice,’ she said, ‘you’ll have to wear that more…as much as possible while the weather is cooler’…I nodded, the top is nice, and very warm!…but Mum continued ‘especially as it is looking so big on you now, you’ll need a new fleece-top next winter!’….so looks like that’s yet ANOTHER item of clothing for the local charity shop!

I’m also a little thrilled because I will soon be looking for a new bra…this from someone who not that long ago went bra-less because she couldn’t fit into any bra!….I was almost tearful when I bought my first bra in years (decades????) and now I am looking for a smaller one!

No one prepares you for the expense of needing to buy new clothes when you finally start losing the weight!!!!! It is worth it though!

So, busy day today – so I swapped around the fasting days … and did my weigh in this morning (gotta love the flexibility of 5:2!)

Saturday 9th January….and the scales say…

14 stone …..9.6 pounds

Another pound gone…2 packs of butter!

Dinner tonight is a tasty chicken curry…and even though I am not fasting, I am having it with cauliflower ‘rice’…there was a time it would have been rice and a naan too (and maybe some chips….and perhaps just one bahjee before hand..oh are those samosas?…..and please ensure the naan is peshwari!)…

Sunday again! And today is Valentines Day…..in the past I have loathed Valentines Day – partly because I see it as rank consumerism (if you love someone then you can give them presents and tell them you love them ANY day of the year!….and yes, Mothers Day is the same – and whilst I give Mum a token then, but I also let her know she is the world’s best Mum every other day of the year too!), but also because I am single! Is there anything more depressing than having romance shoved in your face when you are all alone?….I have always consoled myself with my faith- God loves me just as I am…but this year I am going one step more – I am going to do my best to love myself! (something which does not always come naturally to me – long long looooooong story!)

So, this past week has been COLD. I have been doing a fair amount of knitting – I think I have got the idea of using the cable needle. This means that teddy will shortly have a nice chunky sweater!

I managed to settle for two small but delicious pancakes on Tuesday. And I am still off the fizzy drinks – it has been surprisingly easy to give those up. Working with a longer fasting window is coming along too – even on a non-fast day I like to try and stick to only eating between 8am and 6pm. (The trickiest part is if there is something I want to watch on TV….my brain needs to keep prompting my belly into accepting that TV does not need snacks!)

Oh and I tried on a jacket this week, in a store. It was a size 22…but I could see it was a ‘small’ 22 (Why can’t there be consistency in sizing????) – I tried it on – and it fit! I could even do the zip up! I didn’t but it – it was very short – almost cropped. But I DID feel good that I could get into it!

Right…time for the scales…..

14 stone…5 pounds

WELL!!!! That was unexpected! Just over a pound and a half! I am well-pleased with that! Best Valentines Gift I can give myself!

Ach, you are all sweethearts!

Yes, I do try and stay positive – as far as within me lies. Bad days come – but they go again!…I have a favourite ‘life mottto’ – ‘disability will always be a part of me, but it will never be the boss of me’!

As for mirrors….I moved in to this flat 2 or so years ago, and it was the first place in decades that I agreed to have a mirror! It is not full length, but a fairly large one in the bathroom. Up until then I relied on a small handbag mirror to check my hair and that was it! I really don’t like mirrors! It’s not just that I don’t like looking at myself – I don’t look at ANYONE! Changing room mirrors really freak me out!….I think this is all part and parcel of the Autism – I can’t ‘read’ faces, so avoid looking at them…..I am in my 50s and only now learning to look at my own face!

Which is not to say I have no body issues! Years of bullying at school and other stuff really left deep scars – but I am learning to cope with this – and to see my own awesome beauty!…There is a beautiful Bible verse that tells my I am fearfully and most wonderfully made…I love that!

Anyway…enough wittering!….fasting day planned for tomorrow – I m going to try some miso soup , something I haven’t tasted before….and I have a couple of eggs to use up, so maybe an omelette in the evening?….I have already eaten my evening meal, but it is a decent TV night (X Files followed by Suits) so I need to be strong and resist the temptation of TV snacks!

Thanks folks for the lovely messages and support!

Terry – why Buttonboots? Well, I use a couple of different usernames online…and one of them is Buttonboots. From an early age I had a bit of a thing for Victorian/Edwardian fashion – it looked so elegant – and I have always been anything BUT elegant! I really wanted to wear a long skirt and a pair of button boots! (The short, barely ankle length ones) ….they are still available – especially as series like Downton brought them back in fashion! – but unfortunately I can only wear really wide, flat shoes (I generally wear just 2 or 3 styles of Hotters extra wide fitting flats)….so I guess the name is sort of the closest I will get to owning a pair!

As for the upbeat and positive…I thank my lovely Mum for that. She has been the most amazing support over the years. She gas also been a terrific example of staying positive no matter what life throws at you (and it has thrown some pretty rotten stuff her way too!)….and a strong Christian faith helps too!

I needed a good attitude this morning! I managed 3 fasting days this week to ‘make up’ for the single fast last week. …stepped on the scales and….

14 stone…. 6 pounds

I GAINED a pound? How did that happen? Stupid scales………oh wait a minute…I KNOW what happened…I was at the dentist this week…I had two minor fillings (I chipped the enamel on a back tooth) …..so clearly those fillings weigh about a pound each!…so REALLY I have LOST a pound!!!!!!….okay maybe my logic is a little skewed there, but honestly a gain goes against logic this week.

I could understand if I had been a bit ‘naughty’ during the week, but it is a bot rough to have been so good and still get a smack in the face from the scales……but, it is one week…and one pound. I can’t see how it happened, and no amount of self-reproach is going to change the scales….I will just see it as one of ‘those things’…I gained a pound…I will lose it again. (Trust me…I had a half hour or so this morning where I was less than positive!)

I have also treated myself this week….I am not going to limit my treating-myself to weeks when I lose weight! So, I have bought a new lipstick – and am bravely trying something new..I tend to wear muted pinks and browns….but this week I bought one in a soft purple. (lipstick is the only cosmetic product u can wear, due to skin issues)….and then I have had a booktoken tucked away and decided to use it. I collect old books – mainly school stories from the ‘classic’ age of the 1920 -1970s – and treated myself to a reprint on one of the Chalet School series.

So….positive attitude, and onwards with a new week.