6 weeks in have just had my first failure. :-(

This topic contains 21 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by toms mantis 10 years, 1 month ago.

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highf

3:46 pm
6 Feb 14
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Feeling so annoyed at myself right now.

6 weeks in with no hiccups. Today I ate cake. Ok, I ate two bits of cake.

I am changing jobs and today being my last day in this role, my team surprised me with a great big beautiful cake. I had no way to get out of it! Now, the pieces were pretty small, but it was home made so I have absolutely no idea how calorific it was. I’m now sat at my desk sulking.

The question is, what do I do now? Do I carry on with today as if I was fasting? Before the cake I had around 250 calories to spare for my dinner.

Should I just write off the whole day or go for a 50 calorie soup later?

Maybe a metal session at the gym?

Feeling guilty. And sulky. 🙁

On the bright side, I have lost 7lbs to date. 🙂

Lindyw

3:51 pm
6 Feb 14
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Well done on the weight loss so far!
You ate the cake – its in the past so don’t beat yourself up.
If it was me, so long as tomorrow is convenient for fasting, I would make the decision to eat sensibly for the rest of today and fast tomorrow.

kilda

4:11 pm
6 Feb 14
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it’s ok – one piece of cake (or even two) will not make or break you! Was this a fast day? if so you can either count it in your 500 calories and you’re probably done eating for the day, or you can just carry on and eat up to your TDEE and add a different fast day later in the week.

or you could just carry on as if it never happened and add an extra fast day this week or next week, whichever fits in your schedule.

whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up. You ate cake, it was yummy, it’s in tje past now. Since you can’t undo the calories from the cake, don’t deprive yourself of the enjoyment of it.

You went 6 weeks and only one misstep? Be proud of yourself!

sylvestra

4:41 pm
6 Feb 14
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so you ate cake. You’re human! Just declare it a non fast day and fast tomorrow. It’s not the end of the world and won’t make any difference to your weight loss overall.

xx

Stef.

5:14 pm
6 Feb 14
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I am with Sylvestra, call it a non fast day and move on. No prob having a piece of cake occassionally!
Best of luck
Stef.

Angie090465

5:31 pm
6 Feb 14
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I second everything already said, don’t worry about it!!

now off you go 🙂

Couscous

7:13 pm
6 Feb 14
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Hello highf. Let me work through this please. You are changing jobs and by definition leaving your team?…. They think so much about you that they had a leaving “DO” for you to thank you for being a part of their “Team”. One of your “Team” made a cake for you all as part of your leaving “do”. They did not buy a cake, they thought enough about you that some one took the time and effort to make a cake. You feel badly about having to eat two small pieces of a cake made especially for you. Are you getting what I am getting at yet?. Celebrate your team and how they feel about you. What about the success you have had working with such a good bunch of people?.
Basically, get your priorities in order, give your self a pat on the back for being part of a good set of people and recognise what has happened. Change your fast day, do not beat yourself up, get on with a good day and look forward to your next 5:2 day. By the way remove the word failure from your life.
Good luck.

highf

7:34 pm
6 Feb 14
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A little over reaction on my part there. That’s the annoyingly obsessive part of my personality coming out. The idea of slipping out of my Monday, Thursday routine freaked me out and for some reason I felt really against the idea of fasting on a Friday. (I’m weird)
Luckily, when I came back and read this again, I realised how ridiculous I was being.
Fasting tomorrow it is. No regrets, the cake was delicious 😉

Thanks guys xxxx

sylvestra

7:43 pm
6 Feb 14
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well done @highf ….that’s the beauty of this way of eating. there are no hard and fast rules; no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way. you’ll have a successful fast day tomorrow.

And you could enjoy the cake and the spirit in which it was made.

xx

Couscous

10:44 pm
6 Feb 14
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Hello highf…..nuff said.
good luck.

Rebecca9

9:29 am
16 Mar 14
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I tried to do a Friday last week and it just derailed. A colleague bought me a beautiful donut because she knows I love them, and then there were after work drinks and an invitation to curry…Fridays just will not work for me, they’re too social. From now on if the rest of the week is too busy to fit in two days (which last week was), I’ll just do three days in a quiet week. If I was going to think in terms of ‘failure’, I don’t think I’d embark on this at all. Life comes before counting calories.

audrich

9:39 am
16 Mar 14
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“Life comes before counting calories”

That should be available in T-shirt form Rebecca 🙂

We all stuff it up, thank goodness we can start afresh everyday ~ I can’t say that for all the non-food mess-ups I’ve made!

Aud x

ChrissieinBrittany

6:36 am
1 Apr 14
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Hi!
I’m posting this here because I don’t know where else to post it!!!
I had a major fail last night after a ‘difference of opinion’ with my adolescent daughter. She really hurt me (as only they can!) and I buried my self in any chocolate I could find until I felt sick. I’d done really well up until about 8.30 pm. Grrrrr.
anyway, trying again today and really looking forward to giving my poor body a rest after all that fat and sugar.
Off to work now. Have a lovely day!
C.

toms mantis

6:42 am
1 Apr 14
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Chrisseien, nothing that can’t be undone. Hope today goes better for you.

hermajtomomi

9:28 am
1 Apr 14
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Hi Chrisseien,

As toms says, nothing that can’t be undone. Could it be that your very understandable and forgivable chocolate orgy will have put you off choccy in large quantities, at least for a while? Which can only be good news from a calorie-counting point of view. Have a good day.

Hi toms, hope all is well with you.

toms mantis

12:47 pm
1 Apr 14
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Hello Hermaj. How’s the dissertation going? When is your deadline? Just finished my first proper fast day for a few weeks after being unwell so at last got going again. Hope that was the last bug I’ll have for a while!

ChrissieinBrittany

2:14 pm
1 Apr 14
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So far, so good today!

SAMM

4:13 pm
1 Apr 14
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I have a recipe for dark chocolate cereal without milk. I can’t find it so I’ll have to reinvent it. It basically a small medley of dark chocolate bran cereal and rice cereal. With a half cup of some chocolate almond milk. Spooning in dark chocolate powder until it coats the the cereal.

I couple that with lemon water within 15 minutes. It seems to sate me for 3 hours. It’s about 250 calories so you can it needs to be eaten slowly.
After an. Hour I’ll know if I need to bail on fasting for the day.

On another note. Completely of the subject of fasting .
It’s my opinion that adolescent girls go through identity issues. Much like middle aged men having midlife crisis. some Teen girls. Sometimes shun everyone ,friends and family, and classmate. Reinvent their persona and emerge as someone different. As time goes on in the “girl” culture becoming mature women. Women learn to reinvent their persona without shunning their core family and friends.
Men typically don’t change their personas often until mid life and thus typical shunning friends family carries adult sized consequences .
Personally for me The hard part is when other around me can’t accept my change in persona. They want me to be the person I was when they met me. The key for me to guess someone is cause persona changes is that they are not seeking attention, but rather shunning people by being hurtful.

For example my mother like to feed me and feed me where I’m going to her home for diner.
When I started changing my diet , she acted like I was nuts. Argued a lot. I knew I had changed from her son that likes steak and potatoes and comfort foods to someone that wouldn’t go over because of her foods are just tempting and unhealthy IMO. Instead of avoiding her, or hurting her with excuses. I sent an email to her so I could make sure she understand the message.
I’ve changed.
We can still cook and eat together. But I want to shop together and have you over to my house.

Still was very frustrating to her that I change my foods instead of eating smaller portions. She felt more at ease when I gave positive attention without bribery. It seemed to me that the drama was over me changing, but when I made sure she was invited into my life changed she didn’t carry the shun feeling.
Happily I can report she now can make fantastic low sodium meals. Future to reassure her that I have changed , but want her apart of my life still. I give her missions so we have something in common to talk about. I send my daughter to her house to be taught how to cook. I ask that my mother take her to friends and family to learn and exchange recipes. I in turn take the recipes and try to adapt them to my mission to create nutritious favorites that compete with proven favorites.

I could just open a cook book or search online. However the drama was on this persona change. At first I pushed her food away, it was the excuse or glue of family. It still is. only now it’s reinvented and emerged as an excuse to visit the elders in family. To gather the old family recipes and reinvent them with healthy alternatives and substitutes. Trying to have fun with expeimentation.
This give opportunity for me to explain to people around me when I’m stuggling with food and why I’ve turned to 5:2 type dieting. In this way it’s my hope that they see I’m not shuning them. Just some of the ingredients in their food.

I wrote this out not knowing how I would end this post. It’s just that I see sometimes hurtful words cause spinoff behaviors, and want to offer my experiences. I couldn’t practice fasting with my mothers persona in charge of all meal discussion.

My experience in life is it human to mad, to say hurtful things. It’s unacceptable not to repair relationships with time and space to learn , change and grow. If I can’t accept how others are changing , I might get repeatedly hurt and sometimes avoided for life. I believe time heals, but chocolate not so much. Best wishes to your family.

ChrissieinBrittany

5:11 pm
1 Apr 14
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Samm…. if my mum was here she’d laugh and say it’s just payback time for having been such a cow myself at her age. I’m not worried, I was just hurt last night. More peed off at myself for it leading to a choc fest! So far so good today.

hermajtomomi

8:38 pm
1 Apr 14
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Hi toms,

Did we have the same bug? A cold that was far nastier and long-lasting than usual, although not quite flu as I could just about keep going, although not past the front door! 5:2 went out of the window, but I don’t think it mattered as there was very little food I felt like eating. Anyway, I’m well on the mend now, glad to hear you are too.

Thanks for asking about the dissertation. The deadline is 29 September, but I’m already gradually getting into my stride. I have a supervisor who is lovely, but she really means business, highly preferable to some of those academics who can’t be arsed and have to be cornered by students to get any sort of attention.I’ve also had quite a lot of work on the day job, so I’m having to juggle a bit.

I was going to do French cinema of the 1930s and I still am BUT I’m going to try to trace the relationship between what they called Poetic Realism, which featured a working-class hero (usually played by the gorgeous Jean Gabin who was an extraordinary skilled actor for his time)struggling against the system, and the British New Wave of the late 50s/early 60s – Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, Taste of Honey, Room at the Top, etc. The working title is Working Class Heroes and Angry Young Men, and I understand from my supervisor that there hasn’t been much work done on this connection, so it seems I might be able to come up with something a bit original.

hermajtomomi

12:46 pm
2 Apr 14
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“The hard part is when others around me can’t accept my change in persona. They want me to be the person I was when they met me.”

SAMM, you have hit the nail right on the head. I fell out with an old school friend who, right into our 50s, insisted on treating me like the kid she knew at school. I used to sit behind her and give a running commentary on what was going on in the class. In other words, at 14 I already had a well-tuned s**t detector, which I still have. My friend claimed I helped to keep her sane in a rather repressive school. Funny though she might have been, that kid I was then was angry, scared (bad scene at home!), sad and probably depressed, but was dismissed by her teachers as “frivolous”. This was back in the day when kids weren’t allowed to be depressed or troubled in any way, but simply “grateful”. Who to? and for what?, I used to ask myself.

I and my friend have caught up with each other via the Internet – she’s now in the USA – and have enjoyed exchanging emails. She is a very good writer/storyteller with a great sense of humour and a fund of stories of how she is adapting to life in her new homeland. We are due to meet up face-to-face two weeks from now while she’s visiting the UK with her new American husband.

I took the precaution of explaining very gently and very kindly in an email that I was no longer that “hilarious” – her word – teen, but that still, like her, I had a neat and witty turn of phrase. I’m hoping we can now, in our near dotage, be good friends again.

toms mantis

2:58 pm
2 Apr 14
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hermaj, we probably did have the same bug, in common with half the UK. Glad to hear you’re on the mend. your dissertation sounds really interesting. it is hard work, but well worth it in the end. One of my daughters in law is thinking of doing her masters this year, depending on finance. I’m back on my allotmemt now, and because I haven’t been down much this year have overdone it trying to catch up, so now ache from head to foot! On the plus side, the digging is good for the stomach muscles!