making a mess of non fast days

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making a mess of non fast days

This topic contains 44 replies, has 17 voices, and was last updated by  liznua 10 years, 1 month ago.

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  • Hi everyone
    I’m three weeks in and have fasted six times. At one stage last week I’d dropped from 172 pounds to 166 which I was thrilled about. However I’ve eaten all round me since last fast day on Thursday and I’m back to 170 pounds this morning. I am able to master the fast days and though they are not easy I get through. My problem is managing the other 5 day intake. I’ve been dieting for guts of twenty years and my brain seems to work on on diet/ off diet mode hence binge eating on non fast days. I am continually self sabotaging. At 166 last week I had 16 pounds to lose and I was delighted and positive about possibility but couldn’t stay focused. Any tips,tricks or advice greatly appreciated. Feeling disheartened and like a failure this morning

    Can you work out what triggers your binge eating? If it’s emotional eating, could you get some professional help to work through that or find something else to distract you?

    Thanks for replying Arla. Think it is emotional. Food is my answer to any question you care to ask. I’ve three kids under 10 and my own creative work is struggling having been successful in past. Me time is non existent. Food is an affordable treat. Not sure how to find a substitute. I walk 20km a week with my dog so I do move but maybe not enough. Fasting again today though less hopeful.

    Well tbh the ‘other five days intake’ you can’t manage is what brought you (and the rest of us)here!
    I think the longer you continue to fast for two days per week the easier the other five days become to manage. I know I reached a stage where what was once a ‘normal’ days eating for me became far too much, and I was able to leave food on my plate when my body told me I was not hungry anymore. It was as if something had turned on a switch.
    Make your home a safe zone until this switches in for you, ban biscuits and chocolate so you can only binge on carrots and cherry tomatoes 😀
    Have you taken your measurements and noticed any change in them or in the fit of your clothes? That sometimes happens when there is apparently no weight loss.
    Have you sorted your TDEE and then try to eat accordingly.
    Don’t let mindless eating rule your life anymore – no one can change that but yourself.
    Keep busy on your fast days – this makes them pass quicker and eventually you will come to look forward to them.
    Keep it up and good luck.
    🙂

    OOOH you replied to Arla as I was posting!
    Food (good food) can be expensive – spend the money on yourself! Go to a salon for a pedicure or manicure, have your hair done, take an hour for a bubbly bath and of course there is always the forum or a book to read.
    Must be time consuming with 3 children (two were enough for me) but you also deserve some ‘me time’
    Don’t forget you are also a role model for your children – teach them good eating habits and how to get what they want out of life 🙂

    Hi Lindyw and thanks for replying. My bmr tdee window is 1380 to 1740 which should feel like a feast after fast day. I find eating shameful so eat alone quite a bit despite living with my husband and our three kids. I use food as a pay off for getting through stuff. I am aware of my unhealthy relationship with food. My husband fasts on same days. Says he just doesn’t think about food. I just can’t imagine a day I didn’t think constantly about food no matter how much I have to do.

    Hang on liznua, am I getting this wrong or have you still lost 2lb? If that was your loss last week, dispite your ‘aberation’ then that’s AMAZING progress. Even if it’s your total loss so far, it’s still 2lb in 6 weeks on a new regime that doesn’t always necessarily show on the scales anyway.

    Don’t stress about it either way. Work out your TDEE (how tab above) and try to stick on or under it on your non-fastdays. You don’t have to be exact on the calories, just comfortably on or preferably a little under your TDEE. Maybe it will help you to have a figure to focus on and aim for. If you find that you ‘over indulge’ slightly one non-fastday, don’t worry about it – these things happen – just be more ‘strict’ with yourself on the next non-fastday to make up for it.

    Yes Tracy J. Two pounds still gone and that is great but I am a classic yo yo dieter with all self loathing that goes with that. Afraid I’ll make 5:2 diet just another cycle of losing and gaining. Thanks to all for replies. Feel less of a freak!

    OK – then you need to chuck the scales in a cupboard and forget about them. Just do 5:2 ‘by the numbers’ and forget about weighing yourself for at least a month at a time.

    If you’re going to send yourself into a tailspin everytime your weight fluctuates (despite actually losing 2lb in a week – which IS AMAZING!!!) then you can’t be trusted with them.

    *shouts* Someone take the crazy woman’s scales away!!!

    Only messing liznua but I DO kind of mean it – you know it makes sense – chuck ’em.

    I feel like a crazy woman about this Tracy j so no offence taken! In all other aspects of my life I am capable and relatively in control. Food / weight is my weak spot. I’ll give you a laugh. I’ve got two sets of scales. Guess I should hide both!

    *locks both sets of scales in the shed and throws away the key.
    Use your clothes to measure your body changes Liznua.
    Also sit with your husband and children at mealtimes, its a social family occasion to be enjoyed. You will be surprised at the little pearls your children will come out with to keep you laughing for years to come.
    Don’t be ashamed to eat – we all have to do it. You might find more self discipline if you are aware of what is on your plate and enjoying it with your husband than standing behind a cupboard door eating in secret (now that image will be in my mind all afternoon!)Gosh and your husband is supporting you too, you lucky girl!
    I wish I could lose two lbs this week – its the keeping it off that matters though. Well done you!

    Thanks Lindyw. Determined to sort this for my family and for myself. I spend a lot of time not feeling good enough and I’m fed up with the feeling. Love how in control and non dependent I feel on fast days. Just need to spread it out to whole week.

    Hi liznua, I hear you with the yo-yo dieting and the self loathing, plus the self-control that comes with fast days.
    I’m peering at the other replies (all good) and I can’t see anything about pre-planning.. is there? (Help me, out, I’ve got the wrong glasses on, and I can’t find my others because I’ve got the wrong glasses on lol)

    I am trying to take my unhealthy obsession with food and turn it on its head. As a busy working mum myself, I am *constantly* thinking about food, because, like me, am I right in guessing it’s mainly you who provides the meals for the kids? And all the pressure that goes with that, because, oh boy, are we constantly being told that we feed our kids the wrong things? It’s a wonder any of us get through the day without freaking out over serving the EVIL chicken nuggets (yes, I do). Anyway, what I do now is use my planning and anticipatory skills which motherhood has provided, because you just know when the six year old is going to be sick in the car, right? Now I wait until everyone is in bed and based on my eidetic memory of what is lurking in the fridge & freezer (I’m sorry, but my hubby cannot master that skill), I use my trusty Forever Friends diary (inherited from the 14 year old because, mum, REALLY) and plan meals for 2-3 days hence, including the calories (gotten from my mobile, with the wrong glasses on!). Once it’s written down, I don’t have to think about it, I just follow the plan. When I get in from work and the day starts all over again, I do not have to think (I can’t anymore anyway), I do my best to STICK TO THE DARN PLAN, argh.

    I find feed days harder to plan than feast** days, but I’m getting there. The days I don’t plan are quite frankly a disaster as regards BMR & TDEE.

    Good luck!
    Aud x

    ** Sorry that should of course be FAST days!

    liznua, good job on the 2 lbs down. Emotional issues around food are very tough – have you considered getting some counseling around this? Just a thought, as you are very self-aware and insightful about your food issues, counseling might really help. It becomes easier when we can put food into perspective – when it is just food, not invested with all this shame and moral significance we often put onto it. Good luck and be kind to yourself!

    Aud and Kilda thanks for insight. I plan fast days and consequently manage them but I’m guilty of drifting on feed days from one edible thing to next. Yes I’m in charge of buying, prep and cooking food so not as easy to switch off from food when it is a constant presence. Will invest in notebook.
    Counselling would help I’m sure but our budget is stretched with kids needs at moment so I can’t spend on that right now anyway xx

    Good luck liznua. maybe you’ll find it amusing that as I was reading your reply I was eating a left-over Freddo bar, LOL

    …and *headdesk*

    Sadly can relate totally. I find myself eating stuff out of kids party bags…. not even things I like! Onwards anyway. All replies have cheered me up

    Hi liznua,
    completely my experience after doing the 5:2-thing for 3 weeks now. My main problems are the 5 days, not the 2.
    BUT: I thought about what would have happened, if I did not do the 2 days of fasting – I would have risen my weight even more… !?!?!

    I’m hoping to share Lindyw’s experience – that my eating on “normal” days will become more “normal” if I continue.

    good luck for all of us!

    I am so glad to find folks who are having challenges with the non-fast days. I have considered forbidding myself from eating after dinner, but realize I need to allow myself to eat before bedtime. I am going to try saving up 300-400 calories to consume as a bedtime snack to see if this helps. I may be able to hold out for a couple of hours if I knew I had some food coming.

    It is the contemplation of not eating until breakfast that gets to me.

    Same on the fast days — save a few calories for bedtime.

    I’m glad of company too Amy C. I suspect years of dieting have removed whatever natural instinct I should have around food. I don’t trust myself hence lack of control. We must all keep going one fast at a time

    I’ve been on the 5-2 diet since last September and the fast days are manageable especially if I’m busy working. There seems to be a switch that I started to push in my head on the other five days. It’s like “ya hoo! I can eat today!” I thought I would be able to manage myself on those five days and for a time I did and felt my clothes getting loose. My clothes are tight again and I feel out of control on my “able to eat normally days”. Sorry to hear that you are having the same problem. To help resolve my problem, I have to increase my physical activity and to stop indulging myself. I might need to restrict my intake on those five days because my metabolism is so sluggish. Good luck.

    Hi ladies, I don’t want to ‘push’ my coping strategy on you or anything but I’ve been at this for 18 months now and I’ve found that you do have to experiment and evolve your eating habits on non-FD as well as Fast Days.

    The way I approach it is that I treat non-fastdays like fastdays too. I know that sounds mad but it is aproximately 1 trillion times harder to resist food once you’ve actually broken the ‘seal’, as you know from your fastdays.

    I combine 5:2 and the 16:8 philosophy of an ‘eating window’. This means that every day I fast (totally) for at least 16 hours before I eat (on actual fastdays that can increase to 24 hours, as I only eat 1, 500 calorie meal quite late in the evening) and then I am ‘allowed’ to eat only within my 8 hour ‘window’.

    You can still be a bit flexible with this approach and fit it around your lifestyle. Maybe for you a 14:10 approach would be better, or maybe you’d have to move your ‘window’ around a bit during the week but it provides some ‘rules’ and structure to your non-fastdays and I have found that it helps.

    I have found myself over indulging (within my window) a bit in the past few weeks to be honest but I think that’s down to a 400% increase in my exercise regime, rather than ‘wild abandon’ 😉

    My way may not be for everyone but I’d recommend you try to introduce some structure to your eating habits on non-FD, if over indulgence on those days is becoming a regular problem for you.

    Thanks, TracyJ. That is thoughtful advice. I love the flexibility of this plan.

    Last night, I saved some calories for a bedtime snack. I was slightly hungry when I got into bed and very hungry when I got up. The 2-3 hour period where I usually succumb to temptation was easier knowing all I had to do was to wait for the bedtime snack.

    I like the deciding on a plan and using the analogy of sealing this plan to keep the calories down. “Keeping the genie in the bottle” is another analogy that appeals to me.

    Hi again Tracy and Amy and first hello to SharondUsa,
    Yes I think structure is the thing that I do need. While five days not fasting sounds like freedom it’s really only liberating if you don’t feel awful after those days are complete. I like idea of 16:8. I’ve seen it mentioned on forums but thought it applied to fast days which I was managing so didn’t pay enough attention. In practice for me I think it would mean delaying breakfast as afternoon and evening are my difficult time so at least if I was eating within tdee range in those hours there would be less opportunity for self loathing perhaps?

    “less opportunity for self loathing perhaps?” Haha – yes, definitely it helps to reduce your ‘cupboard watching’ tendancies I find.

    I discovered pretty early on that I could go for very long periods without eating (especially at work) and I also found that as long as I’d eaten a decent 500 calorie meal the evening before I never woke up hungry on non-fastdays anyway. So breakfast became a very easy sacrifice. I ate a lunch at about 1ish on non-fastdays for a while, eating again at about 6pm for dinner and then some choccy and a cuppa for supper. This lasted for a few months and then I realised that I could actually go all day (most days) and just have one big meal and my supper in the evening instead. It helped me because I find it easier to exercise on an empty stomach (I’m a swimmer) and I could literally eat pretty much whatever I felt like for my dinner & supper and still come under my TDEE. It’s VERY hard to over eat your TDEE too much when you’re literally having it all in 1 or 2 meals late in the day.

    Not TOTALLY impossible though, as I discovered last month but still I think I only blew the TDEE by a couple of hundred calories on a handful of occasions – so not too horrendous.

    hi liznua – you might want to check out this blog about body issues and weight – I found it very moving and inspiring. The author is very funny and articulate and talks about the pressures society puts on women about our bodies, and about learning to love herself as she is. Might help a bit with that self-loathing. 🙂

    http://www.nobodyshamecampaign.com

    Ok thanks will take a look kilda thanks. Tracy I think eating breakfast has become drilled into us as good practice and it’s hard to shake other people’s wisdom. I totally get the break seal analogy since I started to fast. Before that drowning in sea of food! Thanks for kindness. Appreciated

    I think anyone who can manage to fast with a young family is doing really well. I know I couldn’t have fasted if I had to prepare food for others. I have enough problems watching a cookery show on fast days! If I don’t go in the kitchen then I’m usually fine, last night I went in to make a hot chocolate (my treat at the end of a fasting day) and I saw a bag of peanuts which I had by the handful. Not good.
    I absolutely don’t want to count calories on non-fast days. I feel that is wrong for my head. Also, if you restrict all week then your body will go into starvation mode and slow down your metabolism. My weight loss has been sustainable, I think, because my body doesn’t know what’s going on! And, doing the maths, I am consuming about two fifths less than before I started.

    Hi
    I admit too feeling confused….my non fast days TDEE is 1999 which to a lifelong dieter and one who is used to 1200-1400 seems obscene…..do I really have to eat to this on a non fast day?

    This is what you eat to maintain your weight. Eat between your BMR and TDEE.

    My non-fast days tend to be a disaster too. I am much better off not having any snacks, nibbles, etc., because it just opens the floodgates. My new strategy is to chew gum when I get the munchies–I am less likely to graze that way.

    i find fruit is the best snacking outlet- on my fast day yesterday for my breakfast-i was hungry because the day before was a non fast day-i had bananas and a pack of dried fruit and nuts!

    Hi liznua,

    I haven’t read the entire thread (rubbish I know), but I entirely relate to your Opening Post.

    This is actually my first post having lurked until now, but I wanted to share my experience with you in the hope that you may find it helpful.

    I was very excited when I watched Michael’s Horizon on 5:2, but I when I started I quickly realised that if I wanted to actually lose weight it would still have to be more structured, as telling me I can eat to appetite is… well, for a small woman I get VERY hungry.

    Being something of a yo-yo diet professional <smug>, I decided to try limiting myself to 1800 calories on non-fast days to give myself some sorely-needed structure so that I didn’t sink into the panic and self-loathing that you describe, BUT (and this is the key) have one day a week where I ate exactly what I fancy.

    Friday is now my Treat Day, and I really enjoy it, but am also relieved to go back to my more sedate eating afterwards.

    It does seem that psychologically it’s important to have a break from thinking about food if you’re to succeed long-term, so that’s my take on it.

    HTH.

    Sorry: forgot to mention, I also have two young children. I cope with cooking for them by having 250 cals for breakfast, skipping lunch, then eating my other 250 cals while I’m cooking their dinner.

    If I do that, I’m not tempted to pick at theirs, or finish their leftovers.

    Thanks Sproutina. Really good advice. I think when you have dieted for as long as some of us on here have ( two decades for me with a few pregnancies thrown in) there’s a real tendency to be either on or off the rails. Dieters don’t really know what ‘normal’ eating is. I’m giving alternate day fasting a go for next three weeks because I just need a little weight loss encouragement to keep me going having lost nothing in last two weeks.

    I’m so glad it’s not just me who ‘fail’ on my non fast days. I’ve been doing the Fast Diet for 7 weeks now and I do think it gets easier the longer you go on. I am totally amazed that I keep losing weight but found that I had 2 weeks of no weight loss around week 3-5. So frustrating but realised I had to up the exercise to get going again. I also found that using a calorie counter app has made it much easier to track the ‘bad’ days. Keep going liznua – you are doing yourself a great favour keeping the diet going!

    Hi Myggan40,
    Always good to know you’re not alone. Fast days, while tough, make me feel like food and eating is within my control. The alternative is 7 days of chaos. … no thanks. Good luck to us all xxx

    Hey im glad people are finding the same. I too seem to have the “eat nothing or eat everything” approach. The fast days are easy and i like the sense of control. But on non-fast days as soon as i allow myself a treat, it’s like i throw the whole day out the window and cant stop eating. However a couple of weeks in this is decreasing (hurrah!)and has only happened a couple of times, so with the fast days the overall result is still a slow weight loss.
    Things i have found to help as others have said is getting rid of all the chocolate and biscuits and stocking up on good foods, fruit and veg etc. If you eat so much healthy stuff you have no room for the rubbish haha!
    I am seeing the whole process a life changing experience and changing the habits i’ve had for years, i appreciate is going to take time and not to get dissapointed at early set backs. Im hoping as i continue on, binge days will become a thing of the past!

    Did 4:3 this week in an effort to motivate myself with a weight loss that would keep me committed. I know I promised not to weigh myself but old habits die hard. Fasted mon wed and Friday and felt great as I always do after fasts. Seemed to have lost 2 pounds. Delighted. Had dinner out sat night with dessert and wine but didn’t gorge myself. Weighed myself yesterday before first fast day of this week and I’ve gained a fairly incredible 5 pounds so right back to starting weight… feeling depressed, unmotivated and ready to quit. Except if I do I know more weight gain is inevitable. I suffer from IBS so it’s likely some of this weight is unprocessed food so to speak but together with monthly pms water retention I feel I’m locked in some hopeless padded cell and getting nowhere. I walked 15 km last week and did two boxercise classes… a new activity for me. I’m doing something wrong but I’ve no idea what

    I have stopped weighing every day because of the the ups and downs that occur during the week.

    I am so tired of losing and gaining weight, that I am truly taking the advice of others to heart and changing my habits that cause discouragement. Weighing every day and getting discouraged when the normal ups and downs happen is one activity I have curbed. I weigh twice a week, each after the fast day. In a few months, I will drop it to once a week.

    Try, try, try to not weigh yourself every day.

    Thanks Amy C. 5 pounds cannot be normal can it. Feel I have some kind of flawed system. On the forum I keep seeing such sucess and I want a little of that for me. I’ll do my best not to weigh. Still doesn’t change the fact that at least eight fasts in there is not a lot of progress. Sorry for negativity but I’m fed up! I do appreciate reply though xxx

    liznua, this morning my scale told me I’d gained 2 pounds in the last 3 days. Well, I know I didn’t eat 7200 extra calories in the past 3 days, and I suspect that you didn’t eat 18,000 extra calories in two or three days, either. I can’t explain why weight fluctuates like it does, it just does. Many decades ago, when I was at my baseline adult weight, I averaged about 105-107 pounds, but I would go as low as 97 and as high as 112 from time to time. Probably mostly because I lost weight when I was depressed and gained a bit when I was happiest (the opposite of most people with a weight problem, I know. Well, I didn’t gain 80 pounds from being overly happy, I can assure you). A couple of pounds one way or the other could be water weight or weighing error. Now that I am losing weight, I find I can get ridiculously upset when the scale tells me I’ve gained a pound or two and I know I didn’t eat those extra calories. Looking at the big, long-term, picture, weight loss is scientific in terms of calories in and calories burned, but on a day-to-day and even week-to-week basis, it often seems to defy logic. It might be medical conditions, metabolism, medications, fluid retention, scale error, who knows what, but persistence has paid off for me, I kept going through the weeks the weight wasn’t going anywhere and now I have lost almost 30 pounds in 30 weeks. Do I wish it was faster? Yes. But I’ll keep on going until I get at least close to my baseline weight. Maybe I’ll tweak it and try 4:3 or every other day fasting if I get bored or impatient, but I might be worried that I’d get upset and give up altogether if that didn’t pay off right away. Weight loss is hard work. I know some people say it’s easy, but it isn’t, for me, and I still get plenty hungry some days. But at least with intermittent fasting it’s possible. I know you think you haven’t lost any weight, but I think the last weight measurement was an error, and, if you keep going, you will eventually see numbers you like better. If you don’t, get thee to the doctor for a thyroid test, because something is not working right.

    Thanks for the total dose of common sense. I probably blew my tdee slightly on Saturday but having fasted extra day I think I should have covered myself to allow a slice of cake and glass of wine. I had bread on Saturday for first time in ages. I love it but it doesn’t love me so I avoid mostly. I will persist. Another fast nearly done and mentally feel better despite numbers

    Good for you! You should totally be able to have a slice of cake and glass of wine on a normal-eating day once in a while and still lose weight on this plan. Bread and potatoes should also be eatable on normal-eating days, although I find it useful to pay attention to portion size on these kinds of things and actually weigh or measure my portions from time to time — if I just eyeball it, my portion sizes *do* gradually escalate. I just bought 4 more 4- to 6-ounce size bowls for my kitchen because, guess what? The number of calories I’ll need to eat to maintain 105-110 lbs. will be a lot fewer than those needed to maintain 150-157 lbs. and a scoop of ice cream looks really lonely in a big 10- or 12-ounce bowl, but quite nice in a small bowl 🙂

    I really hope you see numbers you like soon. I know I get ridiculously upset when I see the numbers on the scale go up. I think it’s because this really is hard work and you need to give yourself credit for keeping on keeping on. And I mean it when I say that you should see a doctor if you do this plan and it doesn’t work, because something is wrong. I do find that my weight loss is ridiculously slow if I don’t get any exercise, but I think you mentioned that you are exercising, so something really should happen, and, if it doesn’t, there has to be a reason.

    Thanks franfit. I am exercising, not madly but I feel enough to make a difference along with fasting. I wouldn’t even mind if it took a year to lose the twenty pounds I need to lose but only human to want to see a budge in figures as encouragement to keep going. I had thyroid function checked in bloods done in December and all ok so it’s not that whatever else it is

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