Feeling very upset with myself :(

This topic contains 13 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by Francis1979 8 years, 2 months ago.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

Francis1979

10:52 am
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Hi all, I started the 5.2 on Monday but have basically gone off the rails and binged eaten and ruined all my hard work on fast day’s by scoffing in the evenings when the baby is in bed and I am alone 🙁 I have made a decision to put it behind me and start a fresh today. I am starting today on a fast day so just hope I can do it this time. Feel so annoyed and upset with myself. I hate being overweight and really need to lose weight not only because if I carry on the way I am I won’t fit out the front door. I just get so down and depressed it makes me eat so it’s a vicious circle that I really need to break. I have recently been back in contact with an old friend who wants to meet but I keep making up excuses not to as there is no way I will meet them the way I am. I am to ashamed of my weight so why is this not enough motivation I ask myself. Anyway today is a new day so fingers crossed I do well. Sorry for the long rant people. x

Cheryllynne

11:02 am
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Aw Francis, please dont lose hope, you are worth more than that, and don’t feel ashamed. Like you, I’ve got tons of weight to shift, only done 2 fasts and on again on Monday. I found the first day really painful cos I had breakfast, although only a yoghurt, but my hunger pains lasted all day and all night til I couldn’t sleep. Now I don’t eat at all until tea time and then have a late evening snack to fill to 500 cals, my worst enemy is late evening when children have one o bed and its my peace and quiet time. During the day I have to keep distracted and the worst thing is thinking of meals that stay under 400/500 cals. Keep in touch on here, I’ve found it to be hugely inspirational. Please keep going x

vicki

11:09 am
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Hi Francis
Just forget it and start again, the great thing about this system (not diet) is that there is no guilt and no blame – if you go off the rails just gather yourself together and start again TOMORROW (I hate to sound like Scarlett O’Hara – hope you’re old enough to understand the reference). I’ve every diet in the last 40 years and failed every time until this, now 18kg since February and feel fantastic. Do what feels best for you, one fast day at a time is probably best. Remember the actual fast time is important, so if you have dinner on day one and fast then eat dinner on day 2 at least you are doing 24 hours, which is a great start.
Good luck, Vicki
ps: don’t keep starting new topics or you will lose people.

Lindyw

12:05 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Hi Francis
Put it behind you – it was one time and you can’t let that ruin things for you.
If you find evenings hard make some healthy snacks – celery and carrot sticks with cottage cheese for a dip, Cadbury’s Highlights for a 40cal sweet tooth. Take up knitting for your little one (keeps the hands busy)or pamper yourself with a long bath and manicure.
We have all ‘been there – done that’ so don’t beat yourself up, just start again 🙂

annette52

12:32 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Francis,
You are not alone….many of us have done exactly the same thing and we are still much thinner now.

I think that you need a plan. Decide what you are going to do to keep you busy when the baby is in bed. I have filed and shredded paperwork, painted doors/walls, dug the garden, cleared out cupboards etc on fast days.

It does get easier, but choose simple to prepare food(less time in the kitchen)that you love and just remind yourself that this is just for today.

Get out with the baby and walk in the day to make yourself more tired. I always have an early night(9pm) on a fast day as I am more tired.

You can do it….we can help!

Nika

2:39 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

What you described sounds exactly like me for most of my life (however I’m still a bit younger without kids).

It sounds like you are suppressing emotions by eating. A lot of people do this, others use different methods – vigorous exercise, drugs, alcohol, even hurting themselves in other ways. It’s the main reason I couldn’t lose weight and keep it off for many years. I would look in the mirror and hate what I saw, then feel so bad I got to the supermarket and bought half a pie, chocolate, chips and all other crap… usually a bunch of alcohol too. Then I’d eat / drink it all, only to feel just as bad (or worse) after.
You’re not alone in this! There are millions of people worldwide who have the same issue, so don’t beat yourself up over it. At least you’re trying to change your ways, there are many others who just don’t bother.

And although I really, fully and completely understand you avoiding people because you’re ashamed – don’t. They’ll see you, not just your fat. Maybe people will notice you’re heavier than the last time they saw you, but that doesn’t make them like you less. And to be honest, the people who judge others on their weight / appearance are not worth having in your life anyway.

About motivation you name your shame. Please don’t use this as your motivation, because it will put a negative stamp on your journey into this new Way Of Life. Maybe set another goal, like wanting to lose weight to be able to play soccer with your kid when he/she is old enough. Or becoming fit to go on bikerides and be active enough to keep up with your kid (which is usually a challenge in itself).
Or, also important, losing weight / fasting for all the other benefits so you’ll be around as long as possible to enjoy the life you created.

There, hopefully some of our comments made your head shift a bit – or at least made you think 🙂 Or smile. Smiling is good too.

rockyromero

3:37 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

@francis1979
” today is a new day so fingers crossed I do well. ”

How will you lovingly treat that part of you that has disappointed you from now on?

➰

Francis1979

3:42 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Thank you to each and every one of you for your kind words and support. Nika as for your comments much have what you have said is true. I am 33 years old and I have not always been overweight I was lovely and slim. I have been with the same partner since I was 15 years old but due to personal circumstances we separated 9 months ago and due to this I moved away from London where I had lived all my life and moved to a place that is allot more remote in order to start a fresh. I don’t have any family or any real close friends here so I am pretty much alone. I have 2 older children 16 and 13 but they live with family in London as they didn’t want to move with me and leave there familiar surrounding. So I guess that I do eat to comfort myself and to block out feelings of guilt and all sorts of other emotional feelings such as losing my mum 3 years ago and I guess dating back to childhood, but as I say I wasn’t always over weight when I had my first child I was a uk size 6-8 after I had my daughter I started to suffer from depression and slowly started to gain weight by the time my second son was born when I was 21 I was I would say overweight but not hugely but then I got bigger and bigger and I lost the weight gained the weight and then for a good few years I have been very overweight and I am now at my heaviest. I am only 5ft 1 and I weigh 15st 3lbs in lbs that 213 lbs so I am hideously overweight and really need to lose weight because I really am very unhappy with the way I am at the moment. I just find it so hard at times it’s like I have a self destruct button and can’t help pressing it. I have had a pretty good day today I decided to take my mind off things and clear out the spare bedroom and make it my project to decorate and get it looking all lovely for when the older kids come to stay and I have to say it worked because I have stuck to water only and I am going to have a cup a soup as I want something warm. I know I will have my ups and downs but I really want and need this to work for me because I just can’t carry on like this anymore!!! x

annette52

4:32 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Francis,
It must be very tough for you, but well done on today.Be proud of what you have achieved today and congratulate yourself.

Well Done.

rockyromero

4:35 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

@francis1979
” I really want and need this to work for me ”

My heart goes out to you.

Consider this meditation?

http://thefastdiet.co.uk/forums/topic/visualization-strategies-and-recipes/#post-19061

For seven consecutive days?

➰

Iwant2Bincontrol

4:35 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Hi Francis,
There have been some lovely posts already which have said what I would say in that regard, so I’m going to pitch in with a suggestion to look into gluten/wheat. If I don’t eat it, I am fine, but as soon as I have just a little bit, it’s like I get disconnected from myself and end up yelling from the sidelines to stop, as I carry on having ‘just one more’ or ‘well if I finish it now I will be good tomorrow’. It’s horrible feeling so out of control, especially compared to how much more peaceful I feel when I just don’t fool myself into thinking that I can just have one.
As I understand it some people are more sensitive than others, but your post just sounded so familiar I felt I had to make the suggestion.
All the best 🙂

Francis1979

4:45 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Thank you Rockyromero,

I may just give that a try. Never done anything like that before but maybe it will be good for me. Thank you.

Francis1979

4:46 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Iwant2Bincontrol – The devil for me is bread once I have one slice I want another and another and another. I am trying to cut it out altogether and not buy it. If it’s not in the house then I can’t eat it.

Francis1979

4:50 pm
30 Nov 13
Permalink

Thank you annette52 x