Dealing with harmful thought processes – suggestions please

This topic contains 13 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by mukica 4 years, 6 months ago.

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Id rather read a book

8:24 am
13 Oct 18
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Morning all, I’m 9 months into the 5:2 and it is generally working – glacially slowly but working, 16kg, so about 40% of my target. I’m currently struggling to get to the 17kg loss: I have plateaued before so I know its temporary. But. I find it hard to deal with my thought processes: Thursday was a fast day, Friday I was in the kg below, today I am back to the kg above. My immediate visceral reaction was guilt and shame and a feeling that this should be “punished”. Now I “know” this is irrational but how can I get rid of that sickening plunge – literally, I feel it in my stomach as a swooping drop – into unhelpful\harmful thoughts?
I have a history of depression but have not been on medication for about 4 years and would prefer to keep it that way. I exercise by walking – 10k+ steps a day – I’ll probably do a few extra today. I have an absorbing (sadly sedentary) hobby.
Grateful for any advice please.

Amazon

8:45 am
13 Oct 18
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Hi,
Well done on losing 16kg.

Maybe you could start by weighing yourself once a week, on a morning after a FD until you get through your plateau.
I only weigh myself once a week because I simply cannot cope with the ups and downs on the scale even though I know it is 100% normal and not about losing/gaining fat.

Have you considered adding an extra FD into your week to get things moving again?

How about finding yourself a new hobby, something completely different that will challenge you, take you out of your comfort zone and get you thinking about yourself differently.

Id rather read a book

9:08 pm
18 Oct 18
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Hi Amazon, thanks for the thoughtful reply. I didn’t add an extra fast day this week but I have tried to be very moderate on non-fast days and I have upped the exercise and so far it seems to be working (as you see I have not managed to kick the daily weighing habit). We are planning a house move early next year – I think that may well be the challenge you suggest – its certainly quite daunting but also exciting. I will work on the once a weigh – I do like the boost you get the morning after a fast but you’re right it probably doesn’t compensate for the bad days. Thanks again for taking the time.

CalifDreamer

10:44 pm
18 Oct 18
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Congrats on the 16kg loss! It sounds like you’re doing everything right and you’ve accomplished a good steady weight loss. Have you tried plotting your weight on a graph? Myfitnesspal has one in their phone/tablet app. As long as you’re overall trend is downward, why worry about the daily ups and downs? Mine can change as much as 2 kg in a week, but ending up in the same place. (I’m doing 5:2 for maintenance and eating quite a bit more on NFD than I did while losing.)

Exercise doesn’t seem to do much in terms of weight loss. I was pretty sedentary during the 7 months that it took me to lose about 12 kg. But walking and exercise is definitely good for mood and for health, especially blood pressure. I’ve been trying to get at least 8000 steps in per day.

I also had a few plateaus, one that was around 3 weeks. I finally got it to move by doing a couple weeks with an added FD. There was also the Great Halloween Candy Massacre that took place over about 3 or 4 days, but we won’t talk about that. 😁 (This year I’ll buy only 1 small bag of candy, something I don’t like. We never get more than 2 or 3 trick or treaters.)

I can’t get past the morning weigh in habit either, and not sure I want to. I’ve just gotten used to the idea that it goes up and down, sometimes for no apparent reason.

Id rather, it sounds like you’re doing exactly the right thing so no need to second guess yourself. No guilt and shame allowed either! Those scales have a mind of their own and don’t want you to get to your goal for fear of being abandoned. Perhaps a talk with that scale and reassurance that you will continue to weigh in even after achieving your goal would be helpful. 😆 And congrats again on a job well done.

Id rather read a book

2:42 pm
21 Oct 18
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Hi CalifDreamer

Thank you for the encouragement, it really does help, especially when you have a husband who gets kg and stone confused and tells people you have lost nearly 3kg rather than 3 stone…..

I think an extra fast day for a couple of weeks is the thing – I have a wedding to go to 3 weeks today and while I can now wear the dress I was aiming for, it won’t hurt to do a bit extra in anticipation of the celebrations.

The candy\chocolate is not the problem: I crave pork pies and I do like a gin and tonic, or two!

The wedding was my incentive for starting 5:2 (knowing I would have to be in the photographs!) and I now have another to go to next June which will help me on to the next 16kg. Again, I have the dress already, from a thinner me, so that’s my next target.

fasting_me

1:11 pm
28 Oct 18
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Good luck, Idrather. You can do it. perhaps a few less calories on a Slow Day plus the 3 Fast Days will get you there. Try reducing Slow Day menu by 100 calories each day for 2 weeks.

Id rather read a book

10:08 am
29 Oct 18
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Thank you fasting_me. So far the 3 Fast Days has just resulted in a gain! Breakfast is long gone so I think maybe lunch will have to go too for the next couple of weeks. I’m one of those who finds it easier to eat nothing than to eat a little which just sets off the appetite. However, I can now wear the aspirational smaller size jeans I bought earlier in the year so its not all doom and gloom!

Id rather read a book

8:46 am
4 Nov 18
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And still a gain on 3 fast days, reduced calories the rest of the time and upping the exercise to 14k steps. Pretty close to packing it in for a fortnight and then restarting. Probably.

JumpGoldPenguin

7:20 pm
5 Jan 19
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Hi @idratherreadabook

I stumbled on your post while having my own mental wobble. Mine is a little different from yours. I’m sorry you are struggling. I’m hoping by now you are a little more enthused. 16kg is wonderful. When you think of a new born baby being around 3-4kg it really hits home on what you have achieved.

I do have similar thought processes in terms of “punishment”. I’m a few months in and have lost 6kg but I am petrified of weigh day. I’m very black and white…all or nothing and I fear the day I step on and experience a gain and freak out! I did a week of adf to be ready for potential overindulgence over the holidays. I was tempted to continue almost to insure I didn’t gain going forward. I’ve compromised and been doing 2 fast days and an extra 24hr fast a week. Tuesday is weigh day and my anxiety is brewing!

CalifDreamer

7:55 pm
5 Jan 19
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Idrather, how about sticking to the 5:2 plan and just not weighing yourself for a fortnight instead? If you skip your 2 FD’s per week, you’ll probably gain. Why go through having to lose those kg’s again? Count calories carefully on your FD’s and just eat mindfully on NFD. Normal weight loss on 5:2 is about a pound per week or less. It’s not real fast, but it is dependable.

Another thought, have you had your thyroid levels checked recently?

Id rather read a book

11:05 pm
5 Jan 19
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Hello JumpGoldPenguin and Calif Dreamer, thank you for posting, its good to feel that there is someone out there who is listening.
I can report that in the 2 months since that post I managed to get to 19kg \ 3 stone which was my interim target. Since then I have spent a week on holiday at a family wedding and then Christmas – during both of which I did not weigh – so I have been up and down over the same kg a couple of times but I am now around 18.5kg again. I have found it pretty hard going but also during this time, having thought I was through the menopause and out the other side, I have suddenly been hit with a range of delightful symptoms including my first hot flush so clearly my hormones are all over the place – which explains a lot, mentally and physically. I have started taking magnesium so we’ll see how that goes.
GoldJumpPenguin – I would not be able to hold out for a whole week. What if that was one of the bad days – then I would be fretting over it for another whole week. I continue to weigh myself daily and sometimes its up and sometimes its down but I can see the overall trend. I’m hardly in a position to advise given my original post, but be nice to yourself. If you had a friend struggling with a diet I’m sure you would comfort and support and not beat her up mentally or physically so why would you do it to yourself.
I now have another wedding as a target next June and I am hoping to lose another 2 stone by then but I would be happy with 1.5 given that it has taken a year to lose 3.
I just need my husband to hurry up and finish the mince pies still lying around!

coffeebrain2019

11:23 pm
5 Jan 19
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Daily weighing can make you lose your mind, unless you don’t mind the daily up/down fluctuations. Been there, done that, and never again.

Alicia28

10:21 pm
28 Jun 19
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Hi,
Losing 16kg is really great, Congratulations! just keep going it’s might be slow but don’t get frustrated you are on the right path. You can get there!

Id rather read a book

8:43 am
4 Jul 19
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Thank you Alicia28. Since I last posted I have crawled my way to 23.3kg so only another 5kg or 11lb lost in the last 6 months when I was hoping for about double that. On the other hand, I’m quite surprised that is that much so thank you for making me check back and see what’s been happening. I’m pretty set in the routine now – I know a weeks holiday will take me about 3 weeks to recover from but if it means enjoying the holiday without worrying too much that’s fine. At least I know that I can lose again any temporary weight gain even if sometimes it feels like I am cycling through the same kg over and over. As of today I am the lowest weight I have been since I had my son 24 years ago – still classified as obese according to BMI calculators but on the right road.

mukica

6:02 pm
1 Oct 19
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Easier said than done but be kind to yourself. I’ve read that doing so in instances of procrastination would improve motivation. I imagine the same could also apply here.