Lotus – glad you’re getting your blood tests done, it will be very interesting to see the results. How amazing that the doctor didn’t recognize you, that must have been a great boost to your confidence 🙂
This topic contains 14,766 replies, has 323 voices, and was last updated by Countrygal1 3 years, 3 months ago.
Oh DiiP sending hugs your way and soo glad that you reached out to us when you need it. Best thing to do…to write it down too. I’m not a counsellor but have been seeing one for a family split recently. Very helpful and assure you he will get the help he needs. He’s taken the first brave step which is so hard for all men to do. And just like my OH you need to be strong and supportive for him. Best tip I’ve found is to keep a journal (you that is) and get your anxious thoughts and worries into paper and then you seem to let them go fro a while.
Hang in there diip and hang around here when u can fir support. It will be here. ( ) your way….can u feel it? Suejen xxx
Thank you CG, I certainly will go and see someone, thank you all for the lovely words of encouragement.
OH was made redundant back in Nov 2013 and is still unemployed, he says this is not the issue, but he is a very quiet person and is tending to dwell on small things around the house that need repair etc, plus problems with the car. He then constantly looks at it, over and over and now it has escalated so much he cannot stop worrying and is now worrying that he is worrying and will it ever stop. The GP has got him to do blood tests so once they come back, hopefully they can prescribe something for him but it won’t be until the tests come back.
Thank you again xxx
DiiP- I feel your pain. The team have come to the fore with advise. Hope it will bring you comfort. The most important thing through this time is YOU look after yourself. Do not walk around on egg shells…. try and keep things as normal in your home as you can….. it will be difficult…..we are here for you . Be strong no matter how frustrating it will be. I send you my strength and love to help you …GO GALxxxx
Hi team. Welcome KB. DIP sorry to read about your OH’s anxiety and depression. I do hope he has received help. I’ve suffered from severe clinical depression for years. Brought on by chronic pain. I’ve been on antidepressants for years. Of course assisting in the weight gain. Depression is often misunderstood and there are chemical changes to the brain. One is not able to snap out of it but need professional help. Beyond Blue is a Aussie organisation that does great work in the field.
CG it’s been super cold here too. We are very close to the seafront and seldom get frosts here but have had severe ones over the past few days. We’ve just got back from the vet after taking Pepper to have his sutures out after his castration. Only to find that he’d already done a DIY job and there were no sutures to be found. Who needs scissors when you have teeth! I felt a right ass.
FD here too. I’m already thinking a nice plate of hot soup with toast would be the go but it’s not going to happen. I’m planning to fast until dinner time again. I will have hot low cal drinks though.
Gypsy sad story about your dog and the bloody neighbour.
XX Dawg
Morning Team lots of activity here this morning. Don’t we go through so much in our lives…everything from the bloody awful to supremely beautiful and everything in between. We are such a non-judgemental, encouraging lot that I sometimes wonder how we all found each other. We can pour our hearts out in turn & get the support we need. It’s not only a mature woman thing as not all of us are in our 60’s+. Maybe our youngies are just old souls as they seem to me to be wise beyond their years. I think we must have all been through a lot of stuff to be who we are?
Keeping warm today is the key as we too have a very cold day ahead – but do have some sunshine peeping through today so better than yesterday’s gloom. MAY venture out for a walk to get out of the house. FD all ready. Can I stick to my 500 today? I’m finding that it’s becoming very appealing to think of going over just a little (like another 47 cals for a Jarrah hot choc) on days like this & not be concerned about it. Not helpful to the cause though if that becomes a habit but we’ll see how we go today. My FD dinner is a yummy one but more cals than normal so harder to fit it in. Have a good day all and persist with your aussie determination. suejen XXX
Dawg what a laugh with Pepper doing a DIY job! Not sure how you manage no food until dinnertime in this weather. Let us know if you think it’s working for you though.
Hi all, wow you get busy for a weekend and there’s like 100 posts to scroll through… FD today, banana for brekkie and 2 eggs for lunch… or maybe 3… lets see how it goes.
Fit, in terms of your OH, I think the best thing is to facilitate for him an intimate relationship with Dr Mosley (by documentary of course). There’s something appealing about another middle-aged, slightly overweight guy going through all the research etc… and he tells the story so well. In fact if you really want to engineer it well, I would get a copy of his documentary on wine/alcohol, watch it with OH and he will bond with the good doctor as gentlemen do over alcohol. Give it a week or two and then watch Eat/Fast/Live Longer. And then… you gotta leave it for a few weeks or months perhaps. Depends on OH. Some guys see a good idea and put their money down on the spot; others are more reflective and take a long time to make a significant commitment which is what 5:2 is. I’m in the latter category, thought about it for months before deciding to give it a proper go. I’m sure you know this, but a guy will generally not be badgered or cajoled into anything. It’s gotta be his decision alone or at least he has to believe that it’s his decision 😉
Of course Mosley has other docos as well like the one on HIIT – all are very interesting and very relevant to health. Let OH become the household authority on all things fitness (if it goes that way).
On a different topic, interestingly my weight on Saturday morning was 76.9 and this morning it was 77.4. Did I really put on half a kilo over the weekend? Is that even possible?….
Good Morning GangNot much to report.
And Diip, many many hugs and best wishes your way. I have been in this exact situation approx 4 years ago. Same redundancy and torture at work situation with OH. He actually banged his head into the plaster wall while crying (his head was fine but plaster wall.. well, you can imagine)
We saw a counselor too at that time. Actually both of us saw a counselor as I was going though PP depression at the same time.
I think its a good idea that you go as well and the only suggestion that I can give here is, Stay Strong and continuously make him realize that no matter what- ” you are always going to be there for him. ” Try and talk about his positives to give him the confidence boost.
These tips were given to me by the counselor and I must say that it reallly worked. We actually developed a sense of stronger bond during those very tough times.
I am no counselor, but can feel your worries and pain. Stay strong and remember love, affection and time will heal this. I will be thinking of you in my prayers.
Love…FB
FB – thanks for sharing, mate, it always always helps when another has traveled on the same road and found their way out other end.xxx
Mike – Thanks for the tip. I might actually try your suggestion for my OH. He is all praise for the weight loss etc for me, but still gun-shy about trying it himself.
LOL about young Pepper! Having a chuckle at the image 🙂
OH FB, that is terrible about your OH. Thank goodness you are both doing so well now and so much stronger. Thank you for all your kind and supportive words, I will certainly be going with him and do what you have suggested.
Thank you everyone, you are all truly rocks at this time. Very interesting that we can discuss all this openly, I think it would be the same face to face as well as WE ALL have such GOOD HEARTS & SOULS XXX
Doit heartbreaking for you to watch but some good help out there for your OH. Someone mentioned Beyond Blue already and they are specifically set up for just this sort of depression/breakdown. Also there is something called Mens Shed in the West that I’m sure must be nationwide that gives support and friendship while working at small projects that sound about right for him. Nothing like support/friendship particularly from ones own sex. Men just seem to do it in a matter of fact tho sympathetic way that helps put someone on their feet again. Even a church sometimes has mens groups. No one on this forum minds you getting your head around what is happening by sharing so keep on using us as a sounding board all you want. (()) hugs.
With CG on the countdown I’m impressed that you are bothering to do a FD, especially as it is so cold out your way. After, don’t do a Pepper and pull out your own stitches! 🙂
Dawg (so much nicer than doggie) trying to do a straight through til dinner tonight too. If it gets too much will have a 23 cal La Zuppa soup somewhere along the way.
YY xx
Diip, re your OH’s situation: Can I suggest you arm yourself with some info on the many shades of emotions that come under the term ‘depression’. It’s a big subject and as Fit said, much depends on a person’s history and the correct diagnosis (not always in the scope of a GP or a counsellor, unless under a psychiatrist’s directive).
There are, however, many aspects that are well within a counsellor’s scope, so long as the situation is what ‘s called “reactive depression”, which means one is upset emotionally in response to some event or situation, like grief, a breakup, work stress, or life distress caused by an attitude or catalyst which can be changed without the aid of medication. (Provided one is willing to change).
As apposed to ‘endogenous/clinical’ depression, which generally can’t and is all about chemicals – and life threatening without specialized management. mostly requiring the full spectrum of pro counselling Plus medical and psychiatric. For family as well as the patient.
So WHY he’s depressed is the key. You would be wise to get that from the treating pro – attend with hubby if you can, it’s always both lives involved with cause and effect in any close relationship, re emotional/mental health. Changing one’s home habits/environment is often also key.
If the cause is not known then the very least I would expect of a GP’s responsibilities is a full systemic blood analysis, and physical exam. In particular the endocrine/ hormonal system, thyroid function and sleep patterns. In many cases, even reactive anxiety is governed by some chemical imbalance, (such as the menopausal hormone horrors!) In males it is just as valid and quite common for testosterone deficiency to chuck a spanner in the works. Plus thyroid function governs the nervous system.
Then there are the environmental factors. Does he work? does he like his work? Are you usually a happy couple? Has it been changing,? Why? Do you know?Or are you ignoring what is too hard to change or face? Are you part of the problem? Does he expect you to change in order to ‘fix’ his problem? Should you? Or are you feeling manipulated/ resentful/ worried? Do you both need to get on the same page? these are all questions a counsellor should address in order to treat the reality. mental anxiety is never a one sided story. If we are talking turkey (to whoever you see about getting help) then it won’t often work without facing ‘stuff’ .Sooner or later the piper must be paid for stress hoarding in the name of ‘keeping the peace’ or whatever store it as. It presents as Dis-ease in one form or another. So… better out than in!
Just some random possibility’s Diip. Just to maybe help you feel supported, whatever the progress and outcome. take care of yourself and talk to someone for your own support. Hugs to you. xxx Gyps
Read a very interesting article just now, re fasting versus overall calorie reduction. Nothing new for us in there except for a light bulb moment for me – long term calorie reduction will not work – so eating well-below TDEE on non-fasting days is creating a cause for failure.
Article Link here,
https://intensivedietarymanagement.com/caloric-reduction-vs-fasting-part-9/
Last para here for explanation (CG -especially with our on-going experiment to move the mountain, a.k.a, plateau)
” …The problem with most diets is that they ignore the biological principle of homeostasis – that is the ability of the body to adapt to changing environments. The body has a preferred state. If you move away from it, the body will adapt to it. For example, if you are in a dark room and suddenly go into the bright sunlight, you will momentarily be blinded. However, within moments, your body will adapt.
The same applies to weight loss. If you try to keep a constant diet, the body will adapt to it. This means that successfully dieting requires an intermittent strategy, not a constant one. This is a crucial difference.
The difference is between restricting some foods all the time (Calorie Restriction) and restricting all foods some of the time (Intermittent Fasting). This is the difference between failure and success.”
As usual, I see my post crossed many of you, all in support of Diip. Hope it all helps, love. And you’re right, Suejen, this thread has become a bit like the kitchen table therapy of old. When folk took their woes to the family and everyone contributed a bit to the solution. When they listened without one eye on the tv and age was not the gage of all wisdom. Sometimes fresh eyes can see clearer! Just nice to have them see us as equals. Should make for an interesting reunion, huh?
And….Gad! CG did I just read fat is now gooood for us? Yesss! there is a god! No worries, mate, I just had…. gurgle…gallons! of yummy duck and pork fat done in traditional banana leaves, hungi style over the weekend. Hallucinating about what I couldn’t stuff in…. sigh…all organically grown and cooked. Never made me queezy attall.
But I’m truly hearing it gurgle through on the fasties today. Comforting I suppose. Might have some pea soup to really fumigate the situation!
Mike, such a bonus to get inside info on the male species! Stick around (we’ll give you double agent status! ) Sooo handy. I’ll be following your blueprint and now feel vindicated. So know my leprechaun has to ruminate over ‘random’ trail bait until it’s his own brainwave! Onya!
Yummy, must say sorry for sad sacking yore soft heart. We missed you for a while. Enjoy your soup.
Haven’t eaten today yet, just a couple of detox teas, must be time for a salad. Cheers all. xxgyps
Thanks Gypsy 🙂 I do look forward to your very informed posts on medical issues, good to have the help on hand 🙂
Regarding the fat issue – my understanding is that if we do eat full fat, we have to stay within our TDEE, so one of the problems that other experimenters on the Net (i.e., amateurs not spruiking any particular diet…) – that means really reduced portion size, as calorie density goes up dramatically. Just something to watch out for, folks, so we don’t derailed from the weight loss journey…
and how it is to easy a lot of brie at one go. sigh…
Don’t mind me Gyps, typical sandgroper – head firmly placed in sand when it comes to animal stories otherwise I’m a blithering wreck 🙂
Think I might chuck a bit of salad together to have with my soup. OH is having a rostered day off and is clucking around because I’ve not eaten yet. Have to remember to think ahead and change days! Its driving me mad as on FD’s we all like to put our head down and work off hunger. Managed to get out of eating til 2:30pm so that’ll have to do 🙂
YY xx
Good to know CG, I am planning to do the same tomorrow. after some months of IF, I seem to prefer black coffee to any milk in mine, but was nice to eat whole eggs (not egg whites) in brekkie this morning, and then hummus and celery at night (and that there is my FD done and dusted for today…)
PS – I had eggs on wilted spinach this morning instead of a slice sour dough – didn’t miss the bread 🙂
YY, Gypsy et all – I am so in awe of all of you hanging in there till lunchtime or late arvo before your first meal! I have to eat by 10 am or feel really distracted etc. 🙂
Gypsy, thank you so much, what you have said all makes sense to me. He had blood work done today (advised by the GP) and thyroid was in that, he has to wait for the results as to what hapens next. We are a very happy couple, no kids, basically stress free, I do get angry with him (part of my menopause etc) He says it is not me and that he does not want to leave me. Lots more to discuss and I will go to counselling with him.
He went to counsellor this morning, so will discuss that tonight.
Hugs back to all of you, appreciate everything.
Hope you have all had a great day and I will read all the other posts later, the ones not about me, as I glimpsed that we can eat crackling…. yes please.
Lotus appreciate all the research you are doing. Worked out some years back that butter was better, just a bit less of it than low fat spreads. Don’t know why I didn’t put it all together before. DER. Also no need to be in awe, I do have a cup of coffee tenish and then can go til about 3:30. Works even better if I can go out. I’m a bit of a lazy dieter anyway, if in doubt, just don’t eat – problem solved!! 🙂
Hi team
what a busy thread, really does feel like the family was sitting around the table this weekend. Funny where you find family, especially when you own dont even bother.
Diip, sorry to hear what a hard time your hubby, and yourself of course, are going through. Im not a medical professional but I know on here no one will diss me for nevertheless offering home-spun advice. Ive used Bach flower remedies for many hears, and they have helped me for years, and helped me out of a few black holes. Despite that no one really understands how it works. I first used the remedies on my animals, so the placebo effect can be discounted. I bred and showed burmese cats, and used it for many things, at the moment on my stroke suffering moggie.
If nowt else, the brandy helps in most stressful and sad situations. But perhaps worth a read. Of course the best known is rescue remedy, a mix of remedies, wonderful stuff.
Might be worth googling, there are 38 remedies to deal with many many emotions.
Gypsy, the poem about the alsatian brought tears – of course – not least because one of ours saved my sister from drowning.
My grandad bred alsations from the early fifties, mainly for the RAF, their house had a back to back fire and range, puppies were always tucked up in the bread oven.
My mum bred them too, still remember my dad drowning a poorly baby in the washing machine. I have precisely six memories of my dad, pity that is one of them.
Ive always promised my son two alsatian pups if his dad and I split up – no idea why – but can honestly say any rows in this house never adversely affected my boy, he would just grin and remind me of my promise.
But his dad is a keeper – most of the time.
Weekend went too fast, walked 64,000 steps in 3 days, flea markets in Copenhagen way over rated, but had arranged to meet a dealer on saturday morning, spent a fortune – everyone happy. Glorious sunshine, bucketing rain and more glorious sunshine, good food and good wine.
Hubby got mixed up between metro and S trains, totally ignored my advice to get the metro and change to S train to main train station, ignored me saying ALL S trains go there, 3 mile walk – run – to main station on a full tum and a bottle of wine, race thru airport – we are normally two hours early- miles running thru airport, plane already loaded, but we got aboard, stewardess got me a glass of water and allowed me to use toilet before getting my seat – sat on loo, hearing pilot say they were waiting for me!!!!!! couldn’t pee to save my life! Sat for an hour and a half fit to burst, first off plane – not bad considering we were halfway down a fully loaded plane.
Of course I silently cursed hubby all thru the flight. And thought a grest deal about alsatian pups!!!!!
Hi All!
Good God, my last post was at the top of this page and look where we are now!!!!
Doit – I am so glad, but not in the least surprised, to see so many wonderful posts of support and advice for you. Some from personal experience, some from professional and some from just good old fashioned well meaning hearts full of love and care for someone going through tough times. I think you and OH are on the right track to resolving this issue but I am sure it will take time. Being unemployed is a big deal for anyone, but men especially seem to see it as an integral part of their identity to be the bread-winner and provider for the family; so it is very hurtful to self-esteem when they can’t do that. I think it is important to reassure him that he is a valuable person in his own right, that he is ‘not his job’ and that you love him for just being him. I know my OH lost many nights’ sleep when his business took a hammering during the recent economic slump and he was constantly tired and low in spirits for many months. Thankfully, we were able to make some changes to our lifestyle and expenses to help get over the worst of it and things are slowly improving now. I hope you both get relief from the counselling and continue to go from strength to strength. Xxxxx
SJ – that sounds like very good advice about the journal. I wouldn’t worry about being slightly over the 500 cals if it means keeping warm and able to sleep well 🙂
CG and Lotus – I am very interested to see how your LCHF goes; I think that would also appeal to my OH – another reason for him to hop on board.
Mike – thank you so much for the detailed reply. I have been building up slowly and planting little seeds along the path for several months now and I think he is ready to give it a go. I totally agree that nagging will be a total turn-off. I didn’t know about the documentary on alcohol so will look out for that because that is certainly a factor in my OH’s weight gain over the last 20 years and as you said, another male of same age is more likely to resonate with him than just me giving him the information second-hand.
Dawg – just love hearing about Pepper’s latest escapade, that sounds just like him…what a hoot!!
FB – how good that you were able to reassure Doit that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’m so glad to hear you and your OH got over such a tough time.
YY – what a brilliant suggestion about the Men’s Shed – we have that over here too and it is fantastic for men who like to be busy with a project to do with their hands while also offering the opportunity to talk and share with other men who may be feeling low too.
Gyps – you are so wise and straight-talking too; it’s good for Doit to have definite and practical thoughts and questions to bring to the counsellor in order to get to the core of the problem and find a solution. Love your latest haiku as well! 🙂
Milena – glad the business side of things went well in Copenhagen but had to laugh at your trip home…you always have a funny story to tell! Hope you managed to get to a loo before the flood gates opened!! 😉 🙂
Getting on with laundry, ironing and other housework now to keep mind off snacking ( my big vice! ). Wishing everyone all the best for the week ahead…looks like a very eventful one for all sorts of reasons….love to all!! Xxxxxx
WOW, glad my comments were helpful. I wonder what other wisdom is lurking under the covers (LOL).
Challenges start next week as I’m starting a new job – will be a lot more travel, client sites, less control over the daily routine… have to pack my little fried eggs 2 or 3 times a week. Will let y’all know how it goes. Might have to FD on Wednesday as Thursday is my last day in the current job and there’ll probably be drinks and pub food all round… will try to keep the portions reasonable.
Evening all…
Nit mike, luck with the new job.
Milena, I’m still cackling over your descriptive pissages! Ha, haa! It is so good to hear from you.
CG, sleep tight, breathe, and let us have intimate details of yore high fat experiment! oh, and the mosley program. I too have no chance of getting the tv controls!
Nite doiit, Fit, lotus, yummy , dawg, Suejen, up, Moongirl, and all those checking in. and GG and the foxy one, wherever you are, have a good week. xxxgyps
Night all just realised I forgot to mention my first compliment locally. Lady from church said to me “I just had to say you’ve lost so much weight. I saw you when I came in but just from the back & I wondered who it was till you turned around & I realised who it was. You’re so different.” Yeah just what I wanted to hear – the back view has always been ghastly so if it’s changed my shape that much I’m darn happy!
But did struggle tonight on FD, haven’t been this ravenous since I first started I don’t think. Just the cold weather I reckon but I’m determined to see the night out. Ended up at 520 cals. Shall have one more hot drink & then calling it quits or I’ll be up all night! Night everyone sj XX
Oh and just watched Michael’s HIT exercise show too. Boy not sure that I could exercise for 20 seconds at the intensity they showed there. Man was he pushing it.
Woohoo! SJ – great to hear you’re looking just as good from the back as we saw from the front!!! Future before and after photos will have to provide full 360 degrees view I reckon! 😉
Mike – best of luck with the new job; it can be hard to stick to sensible choices when there are new clients and business contacts/events over which you have little or no control. Hopefully, with this adaptable wol you will find a way to suit you. Being the newbie though can be good for establishing new eating habits which everyone will think is the way you have always done it and so they will accept it. So bring your hard boiled eggs or whatever gets you through the day and soldier on! Enjoy the send-off from your old job too! 🙂
CG – well, you seem to have this LCHF lark sussed! Really hope everything goes according to plan for you over the next few days. We’re all rooting for you and will be looking forward to hearing from you when it’s all over. Have a great time with your friend so that you’re nice and relaxed before you head off to Melbourne. Xxxxx
Fit- Hopefully the crisis is averted… Take care my dear. Xxx
CG, I loved your posts above. I had a really good fast day yesterday, and have lost 400 gems, which is great as the scales have finally shifted! I am struggling with family perceptions on thigh fat low carb eating style – just this morning, OH bought me breakfast after the blood tests – I wanted to eat a chicken salad (I actually craved it) and OH was like – you can’t eat all that meat on an pty stomach! So I got a “healthy” soy linseed Ham and veggie sandwich (OH still raising his eyebrows at the ham!)… I quietly ate only one slice of bread and ditched the other, but have to learn the ropes on fitting this with rest of family. Hmmm egg for lunch with hummus and celery, maybe an orange mid arvo. I don’t enjoy too much butter generally but I am going to hear a lot of ” are you sure you want to eat that” in the near future 🙂
Look after yourself CG, I am glad at least you are now able to eat the full fat / Dairyyou want, I m sure as stress levels go down, your plateau will shift too. But for moment, yes, focus on successful op and quick recovery…
Hi Fit, hope you are ok, his CG, what is LCHF.
Ive come up with a few guesses but thought daft not to ask!
Hi Gypsy, glad I made you smile!
Took son to hospital, he’s been complaining about his wrist for weeks since he injured it catching a football in goal, he doesn’t even like footie but got pulled into a game on his sports and fitness course – the third GP he has seen in past three months finally sent him for x-ray, has broken bone in hand, progress at last, though it might need surgery, stopping him doing fitness exam for fire service – got home to find my we’en stuck in the litter tray, not looking too good. A bad day, hoping for a good one tomorrow.
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11:59 pm
21 Jun 15