At the age of 40, I was 122 lbs. (55.4 kg) and weighed only 10 lbs. (4.5 kg) more than I did when I was 12 years old. I had a limited appetite as I didn’t need much food. I was satisfied at eating to 80%. I did not eat desserts or snack as they were of no interest to me. A lot of people thought that I was depriving myself of those things, but really had no interest at all. I could tell you if I put one pound on as I was very in tune with my body.
At the age of 40, I went through a very difficult depression where I needed antidepressants. In a year, I put on almost 30 lbs. (13.6 kg). It was at that point that my body totally changed. I was ravenous all the time and couldn’t seem to satisfy my hunger no matter what I ate. So, I ate constantly and in addition to that, I was so tired. I would come home from work and just go to bed. When I tried to talk to my doctor about it, she would say, “Well, at least you are not depressed anymore!”
I have since gone off the meds, but the damage is done. I have never gone back to my previous days of being satisfied with a moderate amount of food. My ravenous appetite is gone, but I still eat too much for a bigger hunger than I used to have. I also have no where near the energy I used to have.
I meet people now and they infer that somehow I have no self control etc. because of what I weigh now (up to 172 lbs. (78.1 kg). I have a new respect for people trying to lose weight. If you have only seen the thinner side, you don’t realize what the other side goes through. It is like I am a different person with what I eat and the energy I have. People say it is just getting older, but I call BS on that. 6 months before I started my meds, I did a 6 week trek in the Himalayas.
I am especially gutted when people see some older pictures of me and ask who that person is. 🙁 I wonder where she is too? Has anyone else experienced this and do you ever come back from it? I am doing the 16/8 now with some success and plan to evolve into the 5:2. Thank you for listening to my frustration. 🙂
12:30 am
2 Oct 14