Pressured into Eating to be Polite

This topic contains 7 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by TracyJ 10 years, 4 months ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

Diggerson

10:55 am
29 May 14
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Has anybody else found this?
I recently had a meeting with a lady who always provides me with tea and cake.
The meeting wasn’t on a fast day but cake is something I am trying to avoid.
She seemed a bit put out when I refused.

It is a part of my job where I seem to be offered a lot of tea and snacks on my travels. I never really noticed before just how often. I don’t want to offend the people I meet with, but it does make it hard to stick to the plan. I have started avoiding certain places on fast days because it is easier than saying ‘no’.

annette52

11:31 am
29 May 14
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Yes and you are not alone.
I avoid meeting some friends when it is a fast day, it is just easier.

You could just claim to have an intolerance to cake/snacks and have been told by your doctor to avoid them. That way you can be vague, they are not put out and you won’t be offered them again.Don’t claim to be gluten free, or some folk might offer you those instead! Just be vague, thank them and eventually they will stop offering.

TracyJ

11:51 am
29 May 14
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I often just go with “I just had a massive lunch I’m afraid, couldn’t manage another bite.” It’s a polite refusal that they can’t really feel offended by and it allows them to still go ahead themselves if they want to, without feeling bad about eating in front of you.

70xseven

6:58 pm
10 Jun 14
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Yes, in the past I have eaten just to please people. I think a lot of us have.

When I found out I needed to avoid gluten for health reasons, I “sort of” avoided eating some things, but I still wasn’t as strict as I should have been. I suffered the repercussions of eating gluten, just to be polite and not hurt others’ feelings. It made me sick, and it wasn’t worth it. I now see how crazy that was, to endanger my health by putting someone’s feelings ahead of my health.

Now that I’m starting 5:2, I will never eat out of politeness again. My health is now my #1 priority. I won’t be rude, but I will be honest and say “I just can’t eat gluten” or “I’m fasting and need to lose weight, so no thanks.”

For some of us, it’s hard to make ourselves a priority, but in the long run we only hurt ourselves and then how can we be helpful to others if we don’t feel well? Lesson learned.

rockyromero

9:26 pm
10 Jun 14
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@70

“Now that I’m starting 5:2, I will never eat out of politeness again.”

Many people drink alcohol out of politeness, also.

➰

70xseven

12:10 pm
11 Jun 14
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rocky, I guess that is true. I rarely drink, since I have low tolerance and only one drink will make me drunk! In my younger years, I used to joke that I was a cheap date. ha ha!

But all kidding aside, I know how important it is to fit in. If others are drinking, I’ll just order a water with lemon. No one knows what I’m drinking.

hereigo

10:15 pm
27 Jun 14
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I have problem with eating to be polite too but I know that if I eat certain things it will set my ibs off and give me insomnia and yet I STILL do it as if my own health and well being isn’t important or that the person offering you the food has more right to be happy than i have

Perhaps we can come up with some polite ways of refusing the food here.

TracyJ

9:01 am
30 Jun 14
Permalink

hereigo – if you get IBS and know what sets it off then your polite refusal (that noone could possibly argue with or be insulted by) is right there:

“Oh, I’m sorry it/they look lovely but I’m allergic to XYZ I’m afraid. But you go ahead – I’m happy with my water thanks.”

IBS is basically an allergic reaction, as with celiacs, so you’re being totally truthful and polite.