Defeating a Very Old, Very Clever Enemy

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Defeating a Very Old, Very Clever Enemy

This topic contains 14 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by  MelbourneMum 10 years, 4 months ago.

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  • Hi, all. I’ve been on 5:2 for four weeks now. I’m down about 11 pounds, which I’ve heard is not at all the norm. 5:2 is generally a gradual, but steady weightloss approach. But I’m extraordinarily encouraged by more than the pounds down. For me, this isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about fighting addiction (and the forces behind it) and regaining self control.

    I’ve been heavy since my first metabolism change between 5th and 6th grade. Seriously, I was a toothpick until the end of 5th grade and then, WHAM, suddenly I looked like Pugsly from the Addams Family. Thankfully, I hit a growth spurt in middle school and played varsity tennis for four years, so I leaned out for a while. Fast forward to marriage and kids, metabolism change #2 at about age 26, and I steadily gained. I went from 180lbs at marriage in 1994 to 305lbs by the winter of 2012.

    But I’d be lying if I tried to blame this on metabolism. It’s mental, emotional, social, and not-just-a-little-bit spiritual. I’ve spent years, telling myself I’m entitled to eat everything I want when I want. I got mad at the consequences as if it’s not fair to get fat when I live on calzones, doughnuts, and nachos. I rationalize: “I’ve had a hard week, I’ve worked hard, It’s the weekend, It’s the holiday, It’s my birthday, It’s summer (and 10,000 others) and SO…I should ruin myself with more food than I need.

    I’ve discovered that this addiction to food and lack of self control was also masking other “hidden” character flaws. I was self medicating with food because I had social anxieties and even bouts of depression. I was hiding from the realities that I didn’t want to face. Hiding in food. You’d be surprised how much you can hide in a vat of cheesey mashed potatoes.

    All of that is treacherously unhealthy in a hundred ways. And worse still, my behaviors and attitudes were being monitored by my family, especially my children. And, unfortunately, some of my kids have taken after their dad in their eating habits, lack of self control, and rationalizing…even in the shape that they are allowing themselves to get into.

    All this to say: the problem isn’t just food. It’s not just overeating. It’s not as simple as calories in, calories out. There are social, emotional, mental, and spiritual forces working against us. Not to mention that life is freakin’ stressful. And not to mention that the governmental authorities have been screwing us with wrong nutritional guidelines for fifty years. So no wonder we have an obesity epidemic. And no wonder, I allowed myself to become 1.5 times the man I should be. 😀

    Enter 5:2. I can’t speak for anyone beyond myself because we are all complex, multifaceted individuals. But what 5:2 does for me is it puts to death the addictive process. Oh, it comes back. Like the Walking Dead, on non fast days, I deal with the addiction and compulsive ideas. But each fast day, I kill it all over again. And it feels spectacular. It’s no accident that the Bible shows fasting to be an invaluable too to A) think clearly and B) fight against the voracious “SELF.” There’s a difference in my thought patterns now. It’s a kind of addiction kryptonite. Even on a nonfast day, if I’m eating smothered quesadillas, I know—KNOW—that tomorrow is the reckoning for that impulse. I will (by God’s grace) kill it again.

    And I’ve discovered something amazing: it feels good to fast. Sure, I’ve had hunger pangs. Duh. And it doesn’t help to have my kids ordering pizza at 10pm on my fast day. lol But still, I’ve got the forge heating up inside me. I can feel the warmth within, and I can think straight. Last night, at bedtime, after another successful fast day, I felt euphoric. I turned out the light, lied down, and prayed for a half hour before drifting off. I woke up this morning and, as it has been each day after a fast, I felt freaking incredible.

    What I’m discovering, slowly but surely, is that 5:2 is not a punitive, confining thing. It’s actually helping me regain freedom. See eating whatever we want whenever we want, the consequences be damned is NOT freedom. That’s subtle, manipulative, cancerous SLAVERY. Every time we rationalize doing something we KNOW hurts us, we KNOW is wrong…we are bowing to a cruel taskmaster. But 5:2 unlocks those shackles. You have freedom to eat as usual, to enjoy the pleasure that God provides through food, but not to be controlled by them. I know that (by God’s grace) I can go without food. I don’t need it the way I always thought I did. And I know that, the next day, I will go without. Each and every success builds confidence and pushes addictive control farther back in the rearview mirror.

    If you’re reading this and thinking: “That’s great for you, pal, but you don’t know me,” I answer: No, I don’t know you. But I do know our enemy. He sucks eggs. And he can be defeated. Kill him twice a week with 5:2.

    Thanks for a great post. I know this clever enemy all too well. I’ve fasted now 6 times, so just started the 5:2. I get what you are saying and it’s very encouraging. It’s strange, I don’t seem to have ever had self control over my diet, yet I can not eat for 24 hours. I guess I really am an “all or nothing” girl! Anyway, I do hope I’ve finally found the Golden Egg.

    What a great post 🙂

    What a magnificent post. May you continue to slay your demons.

    He who would valiant be
    Gainst all disaster …

    Well said!!

    I believe 5:2 could really be a revolution. If people got to know it.

    But it’s not very commercially interessting; no big money. Let’s continue to spread the word. It’s good for us and for the planet all together! Nothing less! 🙂

    Great post!

    I look forward to reading more about your 5:2 experience as the weeks extend to months.

    Thanks for your wise words. Good luck with your journey and keep us posted.
    Stef.

    Here is the post, Joyfulnoise. I agree with everyone above that it’s great! Sorry I could not figure out how to put in the link to it on the “Binging, Please Help” thread. It’s probably very simple, but I didn’t stumble upon the way. Maybe you can do that, so more people with the bingeing problem will see it.

    Blessings to you, Wayne. I’m so inspired by your words today. How brave of you to look your emotional hunger in the face and call it out, so to speak. I trust you are feeling empowered and excited at the prospect of meeting your health goals and encouraging others. You have doubly reason to succeed! I began my exercise program at the same time as my 5:2 plan. I’m not sure which to credit for my increased interest in health, overall good feelings and progress — maybe both! Yes, this is a lifelong plan for me along with more movement in my life.

    Thank you Char! Great post Wayne! Let me think…I’ll try cutting and pasting and see if I can get it in the binging section…

    Hi, all. It’s been a while since I posted. I had a fun weekend at the shore with a few dear friends. It involved much beer, much food, and a little tennis. lol

    Well, getting back to reality stunk. The old, clever enemy kicked my butt around the can a bit. Weight back up, and even above. In the two weeks since, I’m back on 5:2. The fast days feel harder lately, but I think it’s because I’m stressed over a deadline. Still sticking to it. The feed-me-monster in me must die at least twice a week.

    How is your experience going?

    -Wayne

    Hi Wayne,
    I’ve been wondering how you’ve been going with 5:2. I’m glad you enjoyed your weekend. We all need to celebrate life with our friends and families. The beauty of 5:2 is that it only takes a day to get back into it. I had a big family celebration last weekend and enjoyed all the company, food and wine, knowing that on Monday I could press the reset button again.
    I hope your deadline is not too far away. The old, clever enemy can be immensely strong in stressful times, especially if, like me, your habitual response to stress has been to feed it.
    While checking in on the scales is important, don’t be too stressed if your weight loss curve looks more like a jagged stock market graph. The important thing is that the general trend is down.

    Thanks for the insights, esp about the jagged stock market graph. That’s what I’m seeing over the first month. I just started joining my brother in law for weekly workouts. They are hard, but worth it. On a fast day today, and there are moments of grrrr, hungry. But nothing that can’t be beaten down. 😀

    Hi
    I have been fasting for 9months now and have just discovered this community blog, have read ur experiences and can definitively say I agree with everything u have mentioned… I am however at this moment reading a book written by Charles Duhigg called the power of habit… It is explaining everything u experience when u crave food… It’s is an amazing read…I wonder if dr Michael Moseley has realised that by helping us gain control of what we eat and when (reaching for the apple instead of the cake… Which I didn’t initially believe in his book would actually work) he has retrained our habits which is an extremely powerful brain retrain.

    I don’t feel like food controls my life anymore…I control the food :))

    For anyone who is thinking of giving up please keep trying. it’s the habits formed in ur brain from all the years of eating unhealthily and trying every diet known to woman that u r fighting against

    Siouxzie – Thanks for the book recommendation. It looks fascinating and I’m downloading it now.

    Wayne – how are you doing?

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