When we find something that’s really helpful for us we want to share it so others can be helped to. But it’s easy to be so enthusiastic that we sound a bit evangelical and people put up barriers because they feel like they are being lectured – and they just aren’t ready to change. These are all natural reactions.
If people aren’t receptive then don’t keep discussing it, it usually won’t help and can cause people to put up more barriers. What I’ve found is that over time, some will observe your behaviour and when they are ready may make some changes in their own lives. You can’t drag people into lifestyle changes, they’ll go when and if they are ready.

Hi Hedda,

You are not alone with navigating the emotions and comments of others. I’ve had similar experiences including a friend who keeps telling me she’s ‘fat’ tell me that I’m too skinny with great fear in her voice. I find such comments difficult and a part of me feels like replying ‘Well you only see me that way because you really are too fat.’ However, I don’t see this friend as too fat (even though she keeps trying to convince me otherwise) and I think she’s physically beautiful, so it wouldn’t feel true to utter those words. Maybe truer words are that ‘The fear I feel in your words is really your fear about your own fat, not about me being skinny.’ …Not sure if I can be that honest, and as I said, I truly don’t think she’s too fat. I feel she is jealous though and people tend to compare and I’m coming to accept that anyone who eats sugar probably automatically feels guilty when I don’t. Hence the pressure for me to eat it with them. Not sure if this helps. I haven’t found any easy answers to this dilemma.

It is fantastic that you have taken control of your health, and you should definitely continue to discuss your diet etc with other like minded people (this is where forums are great). Read articles but don’t forget to apply critical thinking to them, look at where the article is coming from, who wrote it, who is funding the research etc. Many of the anti-sugar arguments are far from being established science yet, and guys like Lustig are particularly overly provocative on the subject in order to sell books. (although I fully support his endeavors for food manufacturers to remove hidden sugars from their foods). One of the reasons I like Michael Mosley’s research so much is that he freely admits there is still much research to be done, and encourages everyone to find what works for themselves. He doesn’t demonise particular foods but rather gives guidance on what are *better* foods to eat.

But you are right that others will health talk boring. Personally I find people who make comments on other’s diets uninvited very irritating (different, if people ask you questions). Diet is a pretty personal thing. People who have poor diets need to figure out for themselves that they need to change. Unfortunately often this is when they have a health scare. But trying to force change can have an opposite effect as it makes people anxious.
As to people trying to sabotage your weight loss, I actually think a lot of this can be in people’s heads. Just because something effects you doesn’t mean that it is ABOUT you. Also people can make flippant comments about other’s looks etc and not mean to be nasty. Of course, if a person is often making negative comments then of course they might be trying to knock you down a peg for whatever reason, and frankly you should try and remove such people from your life. But try not to take all comments personally, just ignore the ones you dislike.
Also don’t forget that food and eating is a very social thing, it has been for thousands of years. Social and family events generally revolve around a shared meal. People who are on very strict diets can be quite tedious. Doesn’t mean you should change your diet but try and make it as much of a non-event as possible.