Starting out and scared

This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Stef. 10 years, 11 months ago.

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  • Hi everyone, I’m new here and new to this and am quite frankly feeling a bit apprehensive about starting! I don’t so much want to lose weight (I am already at a healthy weight for my height), but I really REALLY want to fix my bad relationship with food. I’m 21 now and had a short but severe spell of anorexia when I was 15-16; ever since then, even though I’ve been outwardly healthy, I’ve always had serious hang-ups about food. I often feel guilty for eating “bad” foods (and I have had occasional issues with binging on these) and I think about food WAY too much. I often find it difficult to enjoy myself because I worry too much about food, and I’m finding that I’m increasingly scared of hunger – I’ll graze 5-6 times a day instead of eating proper meals because I find the sensation of hunger extremely unpleasant and unsettling.

    I’m basically fed up with this. I feel like 5 years is a long enough time to have been caught up in the issues that I had when I was 15. I’m not in danger of going back there; I have no desire to ever be underweight again, so I just wish my brain would get the message and stop obsessing over food now. I really think that my aversion to hunger is something that I need to crack in order to get this message across – I need to learn that it’s OK to be hungry sometimes and it can actually be good for you, and that food is not the be all and end all of life.

    So it’s something that I know I need to do, but I’m still a bit scared because I know I’m going to find not eating extremely difficult, especially to begin with. I’m planning on doing my first fast day tomorrow – I just really hope I can stick it out. Hopefully being on this forum will help with motivation and give me a sense of accountability. If anyone else is in the same position as me and is hoping that intermittent fasting will help in gaining perspective when it comes to food, I’d love to hear from you!

    Hi. I think you should be very careful as you are already at your target weight. Is it appropriate for you to be fasting as you don’t have a weight problem? If you really want to do, perhaps you should seek medical advice first due to your previous eating problems.

    I think it is important that you share your intentions with a close friend, someone that you see on a very regular basis.

    Take care of yourself.

    dtm21, I agree that, in your particular situation, you probably do need to have someone in your corner keeping an eye on your progress. As far as the fast diet goes, I think if you are close to your ideal weight anyway then you do need to be careful not to under-eat by accident.

    The best approach would probably be to look at your intake over the entire week as a whole. If you want to do 1 or 2 500 calorie fastdays in there then you need to be sure that you are having the remainder of your appropriate level of calories (your TDEE, times 7) split across the other 5 or 6 days.

    Explain to your 5:2 backup buddy that this is your plan and then try to leave a clear 16 hours between the last time you eat before your fast until your first morsel on your fast day (this will give you the full ‘health benefit’ effect and allow you to learn to deal with pesky hunger pangs).

    Make sure you go crazy with the water intake and check in with your buddy often, so they know you’re including them at all points and not hiding anything from them.

    It will be easy for your friends and family to be frightened by what you’re planning to do, as they presumably saw the effects of your anorexia but you mustn’t hide it – you will need a buddy who knows exactly what’s happening with you, so that you have the support and the backup that you need and your friends and family have someone other than you (as frankly you’ve got form) to rely on for an update on how you’re doing.

    Good luck with your journey and don’t forget to make sure you tuck in to all the naughty stuff you like on your non-fastday. There is no such thing as ‘bad food’ on this plan just too much of it if it takes you over your TDEE. Everything is allowed in ‘accounted for’ doses.

    I agree with all the suggestions given to you above dtm, but as you are not overweight and with your past history feel a 6:1 regime would be better for you. The benefits from fasting are immense with weight lost being an added bonus for those of us with a problem.
    good luck and make sure someone is aware of your fasting and helps you along.

    Hi again, and thanks to both of you for replying. First of all, thanks eghamhigh for your concern. I have thought before about fasting and in the past I’ve decided against it because I don’t want to lose weight, but I really feel now that the only way I’m ever going to get over this hunger phobia/food obsession thing is to allow myself to feel real hunger periodically and learn that it’s not that scary, and that I don’t need to eat or worry about eating all the time. However, I agree with both of you that I’ll need to eat plenty on the “feed” days and make sure to keep friends and family updated. This is not at all a secret thing for me, so I’ll be happy to make someone my “buddy” – in fact, my mum (who is quite overweight) has expressed an interest in trying the diet out too. Perhaps we could do it together.

    With regard to weight loss, that’s probably my biggest concern (aside from coping with hunger) on the diet. It might be tricky to eat 175% of my normal calories in a single day, so if I find that I’m dropping weight I will probably switch from 5:2 to 6:1 or something – I’m sure that would still give me the benefit of gaining experience of hunger and confidence in my ability to know when I really need to eat.

    Tracy, thank you for your recommendations and I will certainly follow your advice as regards water intake and naughty foods 😉 It would be lovely to finally feel OK about eating anything (in moderation, of course!), and I really hope that I can post again in a few weeks or months with a real success story. After 5+ years I really feel like enough is enough!

    Lindy, your reply just came through. Thanks very much to you too, I will definitely take your advice on board.

    Dtm21, I would be very careful with the 5:2 or 6:1 way of life. It says clearly in the book that people who had problems with food in the past should only do this after they have consulted their physicians.

    The only thing that I can see not harming you is the 16:8 rule, where you eat all of your daily food within a window of eight hours and then you eat nothing for 16 hours.

    I cannot speak for others but the 5:2 way of life makes me think about food much more than I usually do. So it might achieve the opposite of what you really would like to happen!

    Perhaps you could find out about self-help groups that deal with people who have a complicated relationship to food?

    As said above I would highly like to urge you to talk to your physician first as this way off life might be counterproductive to what you really want to achieve.

    Stef.

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