My Last Diet Ever!!!

This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by estheres 9 years, 1 month ago.

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CaptainNapalm

3:26 am
26 Sep 15
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I’m new to this forum, but not to dieting. I’m 44 and I’m fat. Since I can’t do anything about the former, I’m going to tackle the latter. I’ve been on many-a-diet over the years. Some were successful in the short term (I lost 60 pounds on the Atkins diet many years ago), but, ultimately, they all failed (more to the point, I failed them). I’m now back to my heaviest weight ever, about 325 pounds. It’s embarrassing and disgusting and depressing. As an added bonus, I recently acquired psoriasis along with the accompanying arthritis, just to make exercise that much more fun. So, all in all, I’m a bit cranky about the whole overweight thing. I’ve decided to get mad at the fat and take it out. Fat…you’re goin’ down. You are going away with extreme prejudice. I’m sick and tired (literally and figuratively) of being fat. I’m done. So, here I go.

Mainly, I’m here for support. I tend to get discouraged quickly these days when it comes to losing weight. This is partly because it was easier to lose weight when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, and partly because I don’t get a whole lot of support…and, by “I don’t get a lot of support,” what I really mean is “I have a wife who passive-aggressively sabotages every attempt I make at weight loss.” I know it’s easy to blame other people for your problems. I’m not passing the buck here. I’m ultimately responsible. But, it’s difficult. Food is an addiction for me, and my wife makes it that much more difficult to behave. This is a woman who intentionally throws guilt at me whenever I start to lose weight with back-handed comments about how I’m gonna “get all hot and find someone else.” This is a woman who, every time I try to stick to a diet, she fills the pantry with food that she knows that I like and that I’m trying to avoid “just in case I feel like a little cheat.” It’s intentional and it’s, quite frankly, cruel.

So, here I is…in all my corpulent glory. I need to lose weight. I’m going to lose weight, but I need help to do it. Hopefully, I can find a way to help others, too. I know what it’s like to get no support, so maybe there are others who may be in a similar situation, and might be helped too.

Anyway, thanks for leaving the door open for me. With some hard work, some perseverance, and some helping hands, this will be my last diet ever.

annette52

6:00 am
26 Sep 15
Permalink

I had no idea that partners could be so cruel.
Information is power, so arm yourself with as much information as possible.
Look at the FAQ’s at the top of this page and then under resources, go to the BMI calculator which is very helpful and clear about explaining all about TDEE.
Losing weight is all about what you put in your mouth. The principles of the 5:2 are very simple, nothing is banned and although you can have what you like, you cannot eat how much you might like. So, for 5 days eat up to your TDEE and for 2 days consume no more than 600 calories as you are male. Plan fast days before the day and aim to consume protein and leaves, mind you soup is very filling.
Loads of people use myfitnesspal to keep track of calories.
It isn’t food that makes us fat, it is habit. Change the habit…lose the weight.
What to do about your wife and her behaviour? I have no idea, but I found the AA mantra of ‘1 day at a time very helpful’ as I just focused on that day and no further into the future.
Well done for taking this step, have a look at the different threads, there is lots of support and advice.

milena

1:44 pm
26 Sep 15
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I don’t think partners are intentionally cruel – my OH is so proud of my weight loss, but goes to Sainsburys and buys pain of chocolat and scones – and teacakes and croissants – and cookies and biscuits – frankly anything on offer. He and my son seem to be living on sausage and bacon sarnies since I began 5:2 in January.

I did get cross for a while – but now I can have them all in the house and they bother me not a jot.

It takes time, but 5:2 is difficult at first but does get easier. You WILL stop your addiction with food, but do it at a pound a time – aim for just 5 pounds – and keep aiming for just 5 pounds. The it is short steps with your favorite foods as well.

No foods are forbidden, it is only quantities.

So there is no cheating involved – just a fair bit of arithmetic or keying in information into myfitnesspal, the important things is to eat less than your TDEE.

And hopefully better food choices along the way – one biscuit instead of the whole packet – a boiled egg on a fast day as opposed to a mars bar! But the mars bar is not forbidden, it just becomes a bit too sweet and sickly to bother with. Really!

Have faith in yourself – read and re-read the information on the site and read the book. Keep it all to yourself and work out a strategy. Bloody hard to do, but not impossible. No-one will notice the first stone loss, probably not the second. So you have time.

No, to the strategy – here are a few ideas!

Moan about your problems – invent a few – if she is worried about losing you to another woman, get her worrying about losing you to illness. Tell her you are worried that she will leave you for someone else. Or be honest and tell her you are depressed. Get her onside.

Remove the food and bin it and make her think you are cheating – or, better still, work something into your choices on an non-food day, as long as its within your TDEE.

Never refer to 5:2 as a diet – it is a way of eating and a way of life – but not a diet. Even if it is a diet in your head, don’t refer to it that way.

Plan! and plan more.

Exercise – walk! Just walk. Easiest exercise, exercise tones, weight restriction loses weight.

Put money saved on your food and, especially, drink, into a bottle, and when it has built up – it will – take her somewhere nice.

By the way – 44 is very young, something no one seems to realise until they reach near the end of their 50s – and men seem to lose weight much more quickly than women – so you already have two things on your side, so go for it!!!

Amazon

2:46 pm
26 Sep 15
Permalink

Well said milena.

CN, you can do it, and you’ll find plenty of support here.

I’m sorry to hear that your wife has insecurities that prevent her from supporting you in your desire to become fit and healthy and I hope that once she truly understands why you are doing it she’ll give you support rather than attempting to sabotage your efforts.

Good luck.

Expat

12:43 am
30 Sep 15
Permalink

Hi Captain,

You know, I really felt for you and your wife when reading this post. I feel for you as I know how invaluable support is when doing 5:2. I started this to support my husband and in so doing, have found a way of life that really suits me. We are both much thinner, fitter and happier after 6 months living this way.

I feel for you wife as she must have very low self esteem. Maybe you both should seek some counselling to get you both on the same page. If nothing else, she should not be sabotaging you as it is totally detrimental to your health.

In terms of 5:2, it’s great. Hard at first but once you realise that you won’t die of hunger, it gets much easier. The best way is to stay busy of fast days…break your routines. Go for a walk or a swim. Go to an art gallery…keep busy. Once you start shredding pounds, it gets easier.

I wouldn’t get too caught up on calorie counting on non fast days either. If you fast two days a week, then your brain will start to recondition your appetite. Give it time and focus on fasting 2 days a week.

And post!! We are here to support you as much as we can.

Good luck…..you deserve this weight loss and the fabulous feelings that come with it.

estheres

8:32 am
30 Sep 15
Permalink

Hi CaptainNapalm how are you?
well, i dont consider myself related to you and everything you said but i do suffer from psoriasis and that caught my atention. I been suffering for over years now and at first it was horrible and really discusting, now i learned to control it and use special creams everyday that improve my condition a lot. If you need support in that topic, im here to help.
As for the diet issue, hehe we all been there, are there and will be there, in that issue. I dont think it goes away haha. but you said you lost 20 pounds in Atkins! that is great, so have some fate, have some courage and start that one, if u do it once, u can do it again. i know is not easy, but with support, i think you are going to be okay. And as for your wife, hahaha she made me laugh. Go easy on her, it looks like she is scared hahahah. Good luck in your jorney, i hope i get luck myself.