Coping when other half thinks it's a mad idea…

This topic contains 11 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by Endellion 7 years, 8 months ago.

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jenniejenjen

12:24 pm
24 Nov 13
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Hello!

Lovely to read so many insipiring stories and to see how much everyone supports eachother. Sharing all the ups and downs makes it that much richer an experience for sure!

I went on the 5:2 earlier this year, and whilst I didn’t take any measurements, I certainly noticed the difference in size. I don’t usually tend to eat until lunchtime anyway (never been a brekkie kind of person), but did notice I was pretty damn hungry later in the eve when I like to eat most. But with careful planning and a whole load of herbal tea and water, I scraped through till the next feasting day for a 3 month period.

I was single when I did it…now I’m not – and one of our favourite things to do is come together at the end of the day and share a nice meal, like most families/couples/housemates etc – not to mention the sharing of ice cream and cheese etc over the latest episode of Game of Thrones afterwards!

I can see this being the toughest challenge of all…my boyfriend reckons I’m fine as I am (of course), that I don’t need to do some crazy fasting plan (as is everyone’s initial response) and is a big eater himself (despite being very slim), so I’m not sure how to navigate that without caving and scoffing on the last bit of his pie or something!!

Any tips/stories on your experiences with this? Any ideas most appreciated!

fast for life

2:37 pm
24 Nov 13
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Hi jennie, one thing that always sees me through is telling myself ” i cant have it today but CAN tomorrow” 9 out of 10 times when tomorrow is here i no longer want it.
many of us still have familys to cook for so are around food on our fast days, my other tip is if you are cooking for others try and pick things you dont really like, much less tempting, anything BF leaves on his plate put straight in the bin, you will feel stronger each time you get through a hard fast day, making the next one easier. best of luck! x

Nika

1:40 am
25 Nov 13
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Hmmm, Game of Thrones… still need to finish the damned books.

Anyway, congrats on making it through for 3 months! What have your results been like? That could be your greatest motivation to just keep going!

Also try to talk to your BF about it and tell him it’s important for you that he supports your choices in this and respects the fact that this is what you do – and that it would help if he maybe cook for himself some days? Or try to eat with you on fast days, but just have a larger portion?

Good luck!

jenniejenjen

10:53 pm
25 Nov 13
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Thanks guys!

Fast for life, good plan – I’m veggie so maybe I’ll encourage him to make meat based stuff, so I’m less tempted…it’s really true about overcoming temptation too, makes you feel powerful! It’s just at the time, those potatoes look and smell so buttery, maybe I’ll just have 1…then you end up in the never ending spiral of eating doom!!

Nika I love Game of Thrones, our current favourite thing to do is sit in and watch 2 back to back episodes whilst making our way through meal followed by possibly wine and cheese, or ice cream, or chocolate…I really do enjoy those times, but I must remind myself of the muffin top I have, and how I don’t fit into my jeans anymore…that’s actually the most depressing thing. I hate having to wiggle into them, and when I catch myself in the mirror and can see the overhang. Not sexy.

Has this way of life changed the way you feel about yourselves much?

I might make a quorn shepherd(less) pie with sweet potato on top…I can have a small portion and he can have the rest…

Nika

1:36 am
26 Nov 13
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Losing weight is always very good for my self image, but having struggled with massive confidence issues all my life I don’t have the illusion that being slim will make me feel super confident about myself. I guess it helps tho 😉

And good idea about the pie! Maybe you could do the same thing with a lasagna or something? Or some other big(ish) dish where he just has the lion’s share?

Alimmay

5:02 am
27 Nov 13
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I am lucky to have a partner that saw the TV show with me, so while he’s not going to join me, he’s quite supportive.

You could try explaining the health benefits re: longevity, reduction in cancer and disease risk, etc. Having a man who loves you ‘just the way you are’ makes it difficult to want to change weight, but if you point out it’ll make you live longer, and be healthy and active for longer, he might see the benefit to your choices (and might even consider joining you!)

TracyJ

12:04 pm
27 Nov 13
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Hi Jennie – Yummm I love shepherdess pie, one of my faves from my mum’s old WW book.

It doesn’t sound like you have much to lose from what you’ve said, so maybe you should look at your longterm lifestyle and make changes that you and your boyfriend will be comfortable with in the long-run? Even if you only lose a lb per month or something, if you know it’s forever then it doesn’t matter does it.

It sounds like you’re having no problem making it to lunchtime with no food, so maybe consider switching to 16:8 (fast for 16 hours every day and eat 2000 or less, or whatever your TDEE is, calories ONLY during an 8 hour ‘eating window’ each day). Or you could pick the 2 days a week you’re least likely to be curled up together on the sofa after dinner watching GoT and munching snacks and do your fasts on those days. Again – if you’re able to last until lunchtime then it’s not THAT much more of a push to make it to dinner time on those days is it? You and your boyfriend could still sit down to a lovely (low cal – he needn’t know) meal and he just gets a bigger portion.

Let us know how you get on with this – I’m sure there are others with similar problems on the board.

jenniejenjen

12:55 pm
27 Nov 13
Permalink

Hey all,

I did it – my first fast day in ages! The worst times for me still seems to be 8pm – 11pm as I’m a late eater…no problem during the day as per usual…also, I couldn’t get to sleep for love nor money, felt really cloudy but wired at the same time. Had to take a sleeping tablet so I was in with a chance of getting some kip before work which is really unlike me, and even then it took me 2 hours to nod off!! Have any of you had the same issue? Hope it settles down!

It’s 12.45pm and I’m still not even that hungry, all I’ve had is some smoothie and a coffee…looking forward to lunch though!

Had seaweed (it’s yum and so low in calories!), an apple and a 0% fat total yoghurt yesterday as a late lunch, then a quorn pie and steamed veggies for dinner. It’s amazing how much you savour every last mouthful on your fast days – this WOE does teach you to have more appreciation for food!

It’s funny how when you mention calorie restriction for 2 days everyone thinks you’re on a fad diet and it’s terrible for you, esp when there are articles like this around:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/dietandfitness/10177692/The-52-Diet-My-children-force-fed-me-to-stop-my-mood-swings.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/10276180/The-52-diet-con-why-theres-a-better-option-that-starving-yourself-silly.html

…both the telegraph notably!

Obviously there is a flip side to every coin, but it’s really difficult to get people to listen to you after you say the “f” word, even my OH who is a smart man refuses to believe it’s worth the effort, let alone actually good for your body and general longevity. He’s probably afraid I’ll turn into a hungry moody animal or “starve” myself! I suppose I’ll have to send him over some of the positive links and explain it’s important to me – it sounds from those articles like this WOE just didn’t work for those particular people anyway – one diet doesn’t fit all though so it’s to be expected.

I haven’t got as much weight to lose as some, but I’m still over what I should be, got a horrible big muffin top/paunch thing going on…my plan is to reach target weight then go on to a 6:1 maintenance which should be easier. Even if he thinks I’m good the way I am doesn’t stop me from feeling bad everytime I pull my fat day jeans which now barely fit on, and as we all know confidence has to come from within you (auuuummm)! With a 1lb loss per week on average, I’m guessing this will take me up to April/May next year.

I think you might be onto something Tracy & Nika, I had envisaged myself chomping on carrot sticks whilst he tucked into a full roast. I just need to be creative and plan my meals in advance I suppose!

JulieK1967

9:10 pm
4 Jan 14
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Hi Jenniejenjen

Just stand your ground & ignore him. Fasting days are your days to be in control of your eating & your life. Seems as if he would like to be in control of your eating/life? This is not a good relationship if you can’t stand up and say “hey today this is what I am doing”. You are not on this planet to please/appease him are you?

You can “share a nice meal” 5 days a week what is the big deal with not sharing a meal for the other 2 days? I am with my partner for 14 years, he could do with losing a couple of stones but he has no interest & I am not into nagging so I do the 5:2 diet alone on my fasting days, I love it.

Your sentence here sums up the human attitude towards food “not to mention the sharing of ice cream and cheese etc over the latest episode of Game of Thrones afterwards!” We don’t need more food after our food! You can watch TV without eating more food.

Sounds like he doesn’t want you to succeed, I have had this issue with my other half & you have to nip it in the bud, get cross, say “this is my life, my fat belly & if I want to get rid of it I will with or without your say so”.

jenniejenjen

11:57 pm
8 Jan 14
Permalink

Hi Julie,

Oh no, he’s not controlling in any sense of the word, and the idea of him not wanting me to succeed in anything I set out to do is totally implausible – the issue was more about me and my own issues with willpower. If someone you love and whom you enjoy eating with thinks you’re lovely as you are and doesn’t understand why you personally think fasting is not necessary, and there’s nice food about that you enjoy having together, it doesn’t help the cause in your own head as you soften a little and fail to see the flab until you’re in the cold light of day getting dressed the next morning.

It’s also hard to convince people that “fasting” is good for you, a lot of people assume it’s a health hazard without looking into it any further but I sent over the links and he found it all interesting. Hard to support your mate when you think what they’re doing is bad for you!

I nearly always gave in to the “occassion” around food (however trivial), however I’ve gotten over that mind wobble and am successfully sticking to my calorie count whilst he’s happy to fall in and eat whatever is put in front of him when he’s staying over. If he wants more food afterwards or is still hungry he knows he’s welcome to raid the fridge!

Kelly_Diet

1:59 pm
29 Mar 17
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I’ve just read those 2 articles from the Telegraph, and man! They certainly twist all the facts!

The woman getting low article, firstly, 155 calories in an egg? My medium size eggs are 66 calories. Getting hungry to the point of fainting? You’re not eating the right things! It was my fear for years that I would faint from not eating. I used to faint when I’d have a period. FACT: Carbs (namely white bread) and sugar (biscuits and chocolate) will make your body extremely hungry a few hours later. That is what’s going to make you faint. Stick with protein. 400 of my 500 quota are protein, and I don’t get hungry at all. I never felt faint, and this is a fainter speaking. Top tip, don’t have a high carb dinner the night before (jacket potato/pizza/macaroni cheese), and probably don’t have a high sugar dessert either (I’m talking ice cream!)

Endellion

2:26 pm
29 Mar 17
Permalink

Hi there! My suggestion is this – have all your 500 calories together in one go at dinner. This is what works best for me! Firstly, it’s nice to save up all your calories for one proper satisfying meal to look forward to at the end of the day. Plus it means you don’t get to miss out on eating together in the evenings! You’d be surprised how many ‘normal’ recipes can come out at around 500 calories. You can always just reduce the oil in most recipes too. This way, you’ll be eating the same thing together at dinner. You can always serve something on the side like extra bread for your other half.

Hope this helps!
x