Lolly_ …. lots to lose, and everything to gain!

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Lolly_ …. lots to lose, and everything to gain!

This topic contains 330 replies, has 25 voices, and was last updated by  Fuvvie 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • Congrats, Lolly. Admirable result. Why wouldn’t we choose what is healthy for us, knowing what we know? That is the million dollar question. Why did we ever learn to reward ourselves with food? We are conditioned to turn to the sweet stuff. Wish that it were not the case.

    Good evening Lolly, and anyone else lurking…
    An amazing thread..
    Lolly…a true inspiration…

    I know we’ve alluded to adults spending too much screen time, when Fuvvie took her grandchildren out during the holidays, but I’ve invested a few hours this afternoon reading this thread from the beginning.
    It’s been wonderfully insightful.

    I so strongly believe in the ‘mind over matter’ theory when we make these food choices, and it’s brilliant to read about everyone’s journey. Everyone is a winner for just making that one decision to begin this journey. That in itself is a triumph!

    I had to respond to Fuvvie’s last comment about how indeed did we become conditioned to turn to food..and the sweeter variety often, as a reward? It’s starting to become increasingly popular for rewards to be of varying sorts, that takes food right out of the equation. It’s time to celebrate that.

    I’m almost completing my b2b2b2b, started on Monday night, and I’m feeling great…surprisingly.

    Out tomorrow and Saturday, so damage limitation really. But I’ve promised my body better choices!

    Have a great evening.

    I did my own share of lurking and reading before deciding to take the plunge and join the discussions, so welcome, fellow lurker SugarandSpice! Thank you for your kind words. I’m looking forward to hearing about your own journey, if you feel like sharing it. I’ve learned so much from reading about the solutions others have found — 5:2 is truly remarkable for the way we can apply it uniquely to ourselves.

    Congratulations on completing your fast! After three days, your body is clear of a lot of junk and you’re ready for some of those better choices. I have a feeling that you’re going to do very well at this.

    Fuvvie, I share your wish. But here we are, better late than never, and slowly making sense of it all. Glad to have your company on the road forward.

    I’ve just returned from a truly wonderful weekend away. Last week’s re-balancing act gave me back the sense of perspective I’d been missing for the month previous and I now feel set up to enjoy the holidays. Bring it on, Christmas!

    One of the dangerous triggers I’ve identified for myself is having a sense of deprivation. This can be deadly anytime, but special events or holidays can bring that front and centre. Diets always made me feel deprived and looking to food for comfort. I don’t feel deprived of food with my current way of eating so I had to dig a little deeper this time.

    I’ve always loved to bake since I was old enough to play with pastry scraps from my mother’s pies. I had a child’s play baking set and I remember clearly the magic of rolling out that dough with a bit of filling and watching it turn into a tiny jam tart. Over the years I became the sweets queen, with a nice sideline in bread — much of which never left my house, unfortunately.

    My problems with wheat put an end to most baking a few years ago but I’d held on to making old favourites as gifts at Christmas. But this year, with my kitchen now clear of sugars and grains, I’d decided it was time to stop.

    It was logical enough, but I was feeling sad about it. And resentful. But when I looked deeper I realised that it wasn’t the food itself that I wanted but the activity. It was a Christmas tradition to bake: I had wonderful recipes and now they were going to waste. I was mourning a loss.

    Inspired by one of the good people here on this site, I found a solution. Instead of baking home alone stuff I can’t eat anyway, I spent a day with a couple of my favourite teenagers, passing on my recipes and having a brilliant time watching them discover the magic of chemistry which is baking. When I left, it all stayed behind — and I was perfectly happy that it did.

    My true wish was satisfied and a new tradition is born.

    So, what did I learn here? Change is necessary but I need to find positive ones. This is a process of rebuilding and if I give myself do-able steps then it builds a pattern of success. This journey is my life and I intend to enjoy the hell out of it!

    Wednesday Weigh-In, and I’ve shifted another 2 lbs. Only 3 more to go and I can start the clock again!

    Feels so good to be doing what my body wants to do again. It’s clear to me that it’s smarter to listen to it than to my hijacking thoughts on the subject of food…

    You are a legend and a beacon, Lolly. Well done.

    Wednesday Weigh-In again already — these busy days before the holidays are flying by too quickly! I’m down another pound despite several events chock-a-block with goodies. They looked so pretty but I had no trouble by-passing them and finding better choices. Didn’t feel the least bit deprived and enjoyed the company of others. I wish I could bottle that attitude to pull out in need…

    People see me happier now, and think it’s because I’ve lost weight. I think it’s the opposite: I’ve lost weight because I’m happier now. The mood changes began with the elimination of sugar and I had no idea just how much it had been affecting me until I was clear of it. All these years spent under a cloud, thinking it was normal to feel depressed. I wish I’d known sooner, but at least I know now.

    Just want to wish you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year Lolly. Thank you so much for your support this year. It has been a real challenge for you which you have met head on. Blessings on your head๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ’

    Happy New Year Lolly. Did last Wednesday fall off your calendar or are you with family again? This is going to be the best year yet.

    Hi Lolly, Just leaving some New Year joy at your virtual door for when you come home ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿค—

    Perfect timing, Fuvvie! I’m home again at last. Saw lots of people and enjoyed the hols but am more than ready for some quiet time and my own routine.

    I had already decided that I wouldn’t do any fasting while away so I was interested to weigh myself today. I’m up 2 lbs. in 2 weeks, which doesn’t surprise me at all. The food itself was fine but the balance was off — moderate carbs/fats doesn’t suit me as well as low carb/high fat. I’ve had a chance to prove that to myself clearly now, several times over. So it’s a fast day for me, and a sigh of relief to see a kitchen full of things which make sense to me.

    What a difference from last year! I was in full binge mode until somewhere in February, feeling sick and miserable, but unable to stop. To be able to do my shopping today without a glance at the piles of reduced-price sweets is such a blessing. And why not? My basket was full of beautiful things — butter, cream, bacon, eggs and cheeses — and not a “diet” item in sight.

    The bottom line is that I have to do what’s right for me. This last couple of weeks is probably the final time I will modify to fit in socially. My confidence is growing with each proof that I’m on the right track. I stand by my choice for this Christmas but I think next year will see another change.

    So, here’s a New Year’s cheer for what we achieved in 2016 — and to the thousand tiny steps of a great leap forward in 2017.

    This past year, thanks to the mentions of others on this forum, I discovered and embraced the concept of “KonMari-ing” my home, and sought out thinkers like Eckhart Tolle.

    I have a Swedish friend who introduced me years ago to the word “lagom”, which she translated as “just right”. Quoting from Wiki: the archetypical Swedish proverb “Lagom รคr bรคst”, literally “The right amount is best”, is also translated as “Enough is as good as a feast”. That same proverb is translated as “There is virtue in moderation”.

    I wasn’t ready to take that in 20 years ago, but it seems that the internet is declaring 2017 the Year of Lagom. Much as I hate trendy buzzwords, the timing is spot on for me.

    When it came to food before last March, I’d never been less than extreme. Moderation — what’s that? Binges, crash diets — mostly binges! — was my norm. Yet here I am, less than a year later, stones lighter and healthier than I’ve been for a very long time. My meals are regular, I am no longer diabetic, I am calm and have a sense of purpose.

    The weight didn’t fall off overnight. The truth is, sheer desperation got me started — I knew I was in trouble. As always, when the student is ready the teacher appears. It’s never a coincidence. A couple of light bulb moments occurred with the discovery of IF and then LCHF. But the singlemost contributor to my willingness to learn and change for the long haul was my elimination of sugar.

    Sugar changes my brain. I’ve said this many times before but it bears repeating: when it is in my system I cannot stop eating, everything and anything. Without sugar, this behaviour stops. It’s that simple.

    I’ve still got a lot of weight to lose. That’s going to take time. But I know now that I’ll get there. My food is pleasurable — and enough. My body is doing its best to make me healthier. My brain is free to find amusement elsewhere.

    Lagom รคr bรคst, indeed. It’s a good day.

    Weigh-In Wednesday, and those 2 lbs. from Christmas are gone again. So good to be back in control of what’s in the cupboard! No more major festivals until Easter. I welcome the chance to quietly do my own thing.

    Well done Lolly. A clean slate for you to now move downwards on and write more of your insightful thoughts. I need to read more on LCHF as I’m not sure how one gets 70% fat. It sounds like a lot. I’m going to try and look at the Dietdoctor and see what I can learn.

    LOL, I was taken aback for a moment, I misread ‘ write more of your insightful thoughts’ as ‘ write more of your insulting thoughts ‘
    Had to laugh at myself.
    (Don’t judge, English is my second language, lol!!)

    Ha! I like that, Poca. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Fuvvie, as you know, I have found LCHF to be the way of eating my body likes best. In combination with 5:2, I experience peace with food I never thought possible, and I’m so grateful.

    Aside from harping on about sugar — which NOBODY needs! — I happily accept that there’s more than one way to skin the proverbial cat. Plenty of success stories on this site to demonstrate that!

    It’s about finding a fit for your own life: what makes sense for your body and your situation. I will never suffer through another diet again. But I will keep losing weight, eating good food I love. That’s the magic circle you want to find.

    I do recommend — despite the dreadful name! — as an excellent resource for LCHF newbies. They aren’t selling anything, but have lots of helpful things like recipes, menu plans, and inspiring success stories. Dr. Jason Fung is associated with them, and I find his work on insulin and fasting outstanding. Then 5:2 puts this into a framework.

    It is thanks to all of these together that I am no longer considered diabetic. Such an amazing thing! But I am conscious that the best plan in the world will only work when I work it. That requires my willingness to do what is in my best interest. Which leads to the question of “choice” — something I’m thinking about a lot these days.

    Hi Lolly,
    This has been a good week and I thank you for your entries. It is all about choice. I have been choosing to eat a bit more fruit. I had practically cut it out completely, but I think I can slot it into my eating without too much detriment and it does give me more fibre. I’m cutting back on the nuts, although, I did eat a bag of pistachios today. It is an NFD. I’ve had 940 cals so far today plus a Vienna coffee I haven’t counted yet. Am now going to look at that link for the All the best for this week.

    OK Lolly, I just signed up to the and listened to 3 videos. So no fruit. Bummer. Also, I’m not going to start counting calories. That way madness lies. Let’s see how it goes.

    There’s always something, Fuvvie! You did make me laugh about the fruit — I had exactly the same reaction when I first started. How can I live without fruit?? Isn’t it supposed to be healthy for me?

    It takes a while to get your head around the new perspective but once you consider how much sugar is in fruit it makes more sense. Also, bear in mind that there is a range from low to moderate to liberal carb intake and people find a comfort zone at different points.

    Eliminating the sugar in particular makes my 5:2 so much easier, as cravings are just not there. I have a friend, also diabetic, who has had great success by cutting out bread and pasta while continuing to eat 2 fruit choices a day — her plan is in the liberal range. That doesn’t work for me since I find sweetness a trigger, whether real or artificial.

    The important thing is to find the food plan which makes your mind and body happy. It may or may not be LCHF for you, but I think you’ll at least enjoy the food while you give it a try!

    I’ll be looking forward to hearing how you go.

    Wednesday Weigh-In, slightly delayed. Down another pound, and happy to take that result. My progress from this point forward might not be the flashiest, but I’m just going to keep heading down the road and doing my best. No-one can do more than that!

    Well done yet again, Lolly. Nobody is looking for flashy, just genuine endeavour to get to the healthy weight range and feeling good about oneself. And I believe you really have the right attitude.

    I have become somewhat obsessed again and in a very positive frame of mind. I’ve been devouring the videos on Diet Doctor. I’m on a liquid fast today and will go and have some bone broth shortly. But no fruit, no sugar and no refined carbs. Some of those speakers on the website are very convincing and I’m sure this is the right path. The ketones are slowly climbing so I guess I have used up all the glucose in my body so am very excited about that. I’ve been getting into a bit of gardening for exercise so am pleased about that as I have never been a gardener. There are still heaps of weeds out there that require removal but it will happen gradually. So there we are. Keep up the good work. I find I’m really busy just trying to keep up with the 31 day Jan thread. About 70 odd still post on a fairly regular basis, so lots to keep me occupied there. I don’t know if you’ve looked at the spreadsheet at all, but it’s a labour of love.

    Wow, Fuvvie — that spreadsheet sounds like a lot of work! But I’m glad that it’s helping so many people stay focused, including yourself.

    I was thinking of you earlier today as I stood with a tin of almonds in my hand. I had counted out a portion, enjoyed them, but then wanted to finish the rest. Not hungry, just wanted them. They were preying on my mind all afternoon, for no apparent reason. I ended up giving them away. It’s far too easy to eat quite a lot of them very quickly, so, at least for the moment, they are on my “no go” list. I know you have mentioned issues with nuts several times so I wondered if you’d found any answers there.

    Hi Lolly, that last spreadsheet link didn’t present the whole spreadsheet for some reason, stopping at 16th. I had to delete everything out of google drive and resend it. Hope it works better this time. It looked as though I had sucked off when I have spent hours on the thing.

    As to nuts, I am not buying them at present but I am absolutely craving them. I haven’t succumbed yet. My daughter suggested that I put them in zip lock bags, but I just know that I will go and raid them if they are there. I don’t know what to do with this craving apart from just not having the nuts here. Well done giving the rest away. It’s a shame when they are so good for one.

    I was going to have a further FD today, but invited a friend to go down to the beach for a walk and swim and then a coffee. We did a short walk as her ankles were hurting and then a swim which just means diving into the waves and bobbing up and down, not actually swimming. It was wonderful. I don’t know why I haven’t done this more often apart from taking 30 minutes drive to the beach. Then we went to lunch. I just had grilled swordfish with the most basic salad, no dressing other than a squeeze of lemon. I had sparkling mineral water and a long black coffee. At home, I have had some left over chicken as the hunger dragon has reared its ugly head. So now it’s a matter of keeping away from the kitchen and waiting til dinner and keeping a lid on things. I’m the lowest weight now that I’ve been in ages and hope to not go up too much on the scales from what is now an NFD. Off now to dig that herb garden. Lovely chatting to you.

    I agree with you about the nuts — although they are nutritionally a good fit with my food plan I can’t keep anything in the cupboard if it makes me uneasy. Perhaps it’s the snack-y connection in my mind? At any rate, I have plenty of other choices which aren’t triggering me so I feel better today.

    Once the junk has been cleared out it’s so much easier to see when there’s a problem with a food. I want my meals to be delicious but I also want to walk away from the table with a clear mind until it’s time to eat again. This, for a life-long binger, is nothing short of miraculous — and I don’t take it for granted. If the removal of almonds is what it takes for peace of mind, so be it. I already know better than to have cashews or macadamias around! Walnuts don’t seem to be an issue for some reason.

    I do love how easy it is for everyone to find their own way within a 5:2/TDEE framework. I’ve learned so much from the examples of others but in the end only I can monitor what works best for my system. Mindfulness, rather than obsession, so that I can make a tweak here and there as needed.

    Nuts are a difficulty for me too. I had a few last night and then couldn’t stop myself from finishing the packet. They sound like a good healthy thing to eat but I am not safe with them. It wasn’t a fast day but I really don’t want to behave like that at all, ever any more. My list of things not to buy is growing:~ I may have been more vulnerable to it because I ate pasta for tea. Bad choice but I wanted something quick.

    I can certainly identify with that, fatrabbit! Pasta was one of the first to go for me. What I have now is a list of acceptable foods pinned up and I only buy what’s on there. It’s looking a bit untidy from the scratched out entries so today I’ll do myself a favour and write out a fresh copy.

    It’s important that I eliminate any food which triggers me to binge. As someone committed to keeping diabetes at bay without drugs, I am particularly conscious of my carbohydrates. The obvious things are long gone but occasionally I will be surprised by something otherwise healthy, like those almonds.

    Whatever it is, it can go. Plenty of other fish in the sea! An obsession-free day beats any treat, hands down.

    Would love to have an obsession free day LOL. Another 30 kgs to go at least, more like 34 till I can indulge in that.

    Wednesday Weigh-In already — they seem to be coming around so quickly now! Down another pound and so pleased to be almost ready to start the clock again.

    It’s Robbie Burns Day, but I’ll be passing on the traditional dinner this year in favour of roast lamb and greens. I doubt it will spoil the poetry.

    Congratulations on another pound gone. It’s hard going over old ground, but that’s life for you. I thought you had started the clock again.

    You brought back a memory to me, Lolly. I went to a Robbie Burns night in Nigeria. We had to travel up from Bonny Island to Port Harcourt which is a 2 hour trip by boat. Then I found I was totally inappropriately dressed as I wore long trousers and a pretty top and should have worn a long skirt and white blouse with some tartan somewhere. I really felt like a silly git and just wanted to hide. However, I didn’t and joined in whether I was incorrectly dressed or not. The food was yummy. I had never had haggis before and even enjoyed the mashed turnip (neeps) which is probably very high in sugar. But that was 2003.

    How amazed Robbie Burns would be to find himself celebrated in faraway places like Nigeria! Haggis is much nicer than people usually expect it to be but it’s prepared with oats, which puts the carb count too high for me. The neeps aren’t so bad, but it’s the tatties which really make the carb count soar. As it was, I simply joined the group who didn’t care for haggis. We all had the roast lamb, and I substituted well-butter greens for the other veg and didn’t feel conspicuous at all. I passed on the pudding of course, but lots of others quietly did the same thing. I’m far from being the only one out there watching my intake these days!

    You are so right, Fuvvie, about going over old ground. It was disheartening to see the numbers up after the disruptions of November. I nearly cried when I stood on the scales that first day home. But I never let go of the conviction that I had a workable solution in 5:2, and finally here I am again ready to break fresh ground.

    The experience has not been wasted. I’ve learned a few valuable things.

    The most important one: no more “go along to get along” for me when it comes to food. I am owning what I’m doing and I won’t be giving up my fast days again, no matter where I am. I am far enough along my path that the results can speak for themselves, and I don’t have to defend myself for “odd” eating.

    Also important: WHAT and WHEN matter. I now know the food which works best for me, and experience has shown that 2 meals within an 8-hour period for a NFD and one meal for a FD is my ideal. It really doesn’t matter what others can do — this is what fits my needs. There’s nothing forced or regimented about this: I’m listening to my body and following what makes it happiest.

    Feeling strong — it’s a good day.

    This is a very special Wednesday Weigh-In for me: the pound lost this week puts me back on the official clock again. Never before in my life have I found any system of eating which has allowed me to regain lost ground. Nor one I have stuck with for 10 months!

    Weight loss isn’t a straight equation of calories in/calories out — although calories definitely do matter. But unless there is an underlying medical condition to prevent it, 5:2 will work for anyone.

    No magic wands, just magic results. It’s a very good day.

    17 st./8 lbs.

    Well done!

    Congratulations yet again, Lolly. I just love your positive attitude. My clock won’t start ticking till I get under that 103.2 kgs. I can feel your joy all the way over here.

    Thank you, eskimogirl and Fuvvie — it really was a joyful thing to see those numbers!

    I have a renewed sense of purpose and an understanding that my food needs must take priority, even in demanding situations. I don’t have to be a prima donna about it but I’ve been working on polite but firm “no, thank you” responses. I have found that many people take rejection of their food personally so for them my bottom line, if pressed, is a reference to managing diabetes. That seems to work, socially. Family is another story — but I’m working on that, too!

    I had a moment yesterday while waiting for an MRI. There was a rather petulant woman whining that she was STARVING as she’d had no food for 2 hours and her scan had been delayed for 15 minutes. My own test required no food or drink for 4 hours prior, so I’d made it a fast day and was feeling fine. I thought back to a year ago, and realised just how far I’d come — I used to be that woman. She wasn’t much fun to be around.

    The longer I follow 5:2, the more refined my process becomes. The key remains being willing to change as soon as I am able. Having a plan in place can carry me through less willing times, at least for a while. It’s just the way I live now.

    Wednesday Weigh-In time, and although I don’t live or die by the scales I have to admit that it’s a thrill to see them going down. Two pounds dismissed this week and I’ve got that next milestone in view now.

    I do like to weigh myself every morning because I like to track my progress. It helps to see how it fluctuates for no apparent reason, and reminds me to see the results as part of a bigger chart rather than fretting over a number. I am absolutely not in control of the numbers — merely in control of what I eat. There’s a huge difference between those two things and I never set specific weigh loss goals. I try to accept what each day brings. I do, however, look forward to celebrating when I cross that 17 stone line whenever that day is. Being only too human, I am sure I can be forgiven for hoping that it happens sooner rather than later!

    17 st./6 lbs.

    Hi Lolly,
    Spent today my lunch hour catching up on your thread. It is amazing how you managed to step back on loosing track after gaining some. And staying calm and determined. Well done!

    I am already feel the influence of reading this forum on daily basis. I am cutting my sugar and carbs intake again, avoided to by my favorite snacks, and did not take a cupcake offering at work. Additionally, my lunch choice was without carbs as well. Drinking more water and hopefully will be soon prepared enough to complete my first fast in a long while, and to start recording my weight again. I really need to make this U-turn as soon as possible because I am close to my original weight (before starting 5:2).

    Interesting fruit discussion. I always thought that fruit is healthy and all-you-can-eat category. Is it possible that fruit trigger my cravings? I really should explore that. Do you completely stay away from any fruit or have some exceptions?
    Going to check as you recommended.

    I am just so delighted to see you back again, coldpizza — you have been missed!

    The fruit thing.. I don’t eat any at this point except for avocado. For one thing, the sweetness can trigger me. For another, one medium apple contains more carbs than I consume in an entire day. Modern fruit, despite the successful advertising we have all fallen for, is bred to be pretty much all sugar. It’s worth researching.

    Avocado is the exception because it it very low in net carbs, and high in beneficial fats. It also has more than double the amount of potassium than that banana doctors recommend. But besides that — I love them and they feel like a daily treat.

    Bottom line, I’ve got nothing against fruit if you can handle it. I can only speak to my own situation, and surprisingly I don’t miss it at all. I get all my nutrients elsewhere. It’s all about finding the right balance of carbs, protein and healthy fats. NOT for a diet, but for a change of life.

    Give yourself a break, coldpizza. Set an achievable eating plan, with practical steps, and stick to it for a month. Nothing extreme in the way of fasting. Just a basic 5:2 will do the trick. Stay in today, and those days will mount up all by themselves.

    I know you can do this! Hugs — Lolly

    Thank you, Lolly.

    Hi Lolly, I am on the back burner again. Should have kept on on with registering the challenge. Never mind.. you are doing so well. Fantastic. Will try to emulate your success, starting tomorrow. Too late to start this evening. Have already broken all the rules๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜ž

    Rules are made to be broken, Fuvvie — or so my brain seems to think! So let’s not make rules we set ourselves against. Let’s just make choices in our own best interests, consistently.

    Even more important than food changes for me has been attitude change. I wouldn’t still be here if 5:2 was just a diet. It’s never to late to reassess and move forward, wiser for the experience.

    Today is the only day you can ever have — make it a good one!

    Good morning Lolly and your many followers. Isn’t it lovely to have Coldpizza back in the ranks? We didn’t get here by being people in control of our emotions and eating. But this is the place to learn how to do just that.

    Attitude change is massive. I have been struggling like a marlin on a line, being drawn closer to where I will be but fighting like hell at times to get back to how it was. Why would one do that ? This understanding seems to be coming to you more clearly than for me, but your candle light is showing it up so that I catch glimpses and know I want it for myself. I’m sure Coldpizza has seen it too. We want it but don’t want to pay the price. For you, it seems to be a no-brainer. For me it is some sort of self-delusion. Whatever the cause, the outcome has to be a more sustainable adoption of this WOL. I had a great liquid fast yesterday and am still going. But the scale is 106.4 kgs this morning. It was up to 107.9 a couple of days ago. Was the over-indulgence worth it? I don’t think so. In January I got down to 104.4 kgs. Talk about chasing one’s tail!!!!

    You are doing very well. Keep it up. 17 st 6 lb. I look on you as my friend and mentor and bask in your reflected glory. You and Buttonboots. Yay.

    Love the marlin-on-a-line, Fuvvie! It really paints the picture of what we go through before accepting change. Resistance may be futile but it never stops me trying.

    I have a theory that we only do what we want to do. Any plan based on “should” is doomed. For years, I knew that I should lose weight — but I wanted the sugar more than I wanted to be slim. I hated the sense of deprivation that came with diets and my emotions were so entangled with food that I couldn’t separate the two.

    An eating plan is just mechanics — we know what to do. So why would we not do what’s good for us?

    In the end, I can’t take any credit for being clever: I just want to be here more than I want to be there. I want to be free of diabetes. I want to lose weight. I want to feel healthy and I want my thoughts to be clear. I don’t want to be ill. I don’t want to be controlled by a substance. And I don’t want to end up dead before my time in an out-sized coffin.

    So, yes — it’s a no-brainer for me, at long last. I finally get it. The light bulb’s on and somebody’s home.

    There’s no deprivation here. I eat well and enjoy every mouthful, but food is neither consolation nor reward. A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed it possible but today I am grateful beyond belief.

    I wish I had a magic formula to pass on — I’d make a fortune! All I can say is, everything became possible for me once I was free of sugar. Staying free of it is the price I am willing to pay for what I have now.

    Each one of us has to find our own path, and I know you’ll find yours, Fuvvie. That candle is in you, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Wednesday Weigh-In but no loss to report this week. At least there’s also no gain, although I’d be less than truthful if I said I wasn’t disappointed. I do like to see those numbers go down!

    Feeling a little stressed with an important medical appointment tomorrow. Wish me luck.

    17 st./6 lbs.

    Thinking of you today at your medical appointment and wishing you a very positive outcome. I guess you get the results of the MRI. Fingers, toes and eyes all crossed for you.

    Have you heard of ‘tonglen’ meditation? It is a buddhist meditation aimed at opening your heart and accepting suffering and converting it to love and goodwill. I think it is very powerful. I sit and breathe in your pain, smite the self cherishing in my heart and breathe out white healing light. It is all I can do for you from here and wish you well.

    As for the no loss week, it happens from time to time, as your body readjusts, so I have heard. I’m sure it will take a nose dive again soon.

    Home again, feeling tired after a couple of days of testing I wasn’t expecting. The MRI showed something that needed investigating but it looks like I’m clear. I feel curiously flat, but a couple of quiet days will help.

    That’s a powerful meditation, Fuvvie, and I thank you for all your good wishes. I used something similar during treatment and found it so helpful.

    Hi Lolly. It’s only natural that you would feel somewhat flat after having your applecart upset again. I’m very glad for you that it is not anything out of the ordinary after all.

    If you want a lift or a reason to cry, I can recommend reading a book called “A Man Called Ove”. I read it yesterday and today and couldn’t really put it down unless I absolutely had to. It made me laugh out loud and cry sometimes with that choked up feeling you get in your throat. I’ve just finished it and have given it to my daughter to read. It was one of the better books I have read in the past 12 months and I have read a few really good books. I will be reading more by the same author.

    I have started the 2 week challenge from the Diet Doctor and cooked the meat patties with the tomato cream gravy and cabbage done in butter. The adults all enjoyed it but the kids were a bit iffy. Tomorrow is the chili salmon. I do not really like salmon, but will give it my best shot. I have been watching a few of the videos on the site and hope that this will reboot my efforts.

    I am not checking the web very often, and do not write much lately, but I am thinking and praying for you. There was a little candle lighten up for your health in our church. Hugs!

    You have such a wonderful loving personality! Your “crossed fingers, toes and eyes” for Lolly make me laugh, create such a warm feeling inside, make me realize that love really does not have any limits or boundaries.

    I’ve been away on a retreat for a few days and it’s given me lots to think about. Talked late into the night with people with very different perspectives and experiences but we all agreed that we dislike being called “cancer survivors”, as if that defined who we are.

    I think I like being “that woman who’s lost a lot of weight” better than “that fat woman” — but other people’s shorthand for identifying me isn’t as important as how I see myself.

    There’s a danger in defining ourselves by weight loss. If I don’t lose one week — am I a failure? If I do drop a pound — am I a better person?

    Successful weight loss is a mechanical process. Follow the formula that fits you and it will happen. It’s not a moral issue — it’s biology. Being slim won’t make me a “good” person, just one who’s at a healthy weight.

    I’m gradually learning to shift my success measuring stick to where it belongs but this takes some work and self-awareness, and I’m really rather lazy! The scales can give me bonus good news but I can’t let them define my day. Nor who I am.

    I think that retreats can be an amazing experience, Lolly. I agree that weight loss is not a moral issue, but I think it is more than biology, as the mental state can affect one’s desire to follow the formula enormously. I do agree also that you have to put in the hard yards and increase self awareness. Good luck with shifting your success measuring stick. I’m not sure how I measure my success. I want to be a good person, helpful to my family and friends, achieve my goals. I’ve had a good life to date with it’s ups and downs. I’d like it to continue that way. My father had stomach cancer, my mother had a stroke. My brother died aged 32 of a heart attack. My sister is still going strong at 78 ( she is 10 and a half years older than me). It’s true that how we see ourselves can be more important than how others see us. But I have to say that others often see me in a better light than I see myself. You have certainly given me food for thought, as usual. It’s a blessing reading your thoughts and reflecting on them. Take care. Warm hugs.

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