Lolly_ …. lots to lose, and everything to gain!

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Lolly_ …. lots to lose, and everything to gain!

This topic contains 330 replies, has 25 voices, and was last updated by  Fuvvie 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • Hi Lolly, I have been reading your post over and over and am convinced you’ve got a handle on the causes of anxiety and the best way to handle it, namely “watching it with interest”, is just that, watching it but not buying into its story. Meditation and relaxation are vital from all the reading I’ve been doing, and believe me, I’m doing a lot. One book I’m finding really interesting is “calming your anxious mind”. By Jeffrey Brantley M.D. Where we have used food in the past and not have that solve the problem, looking at our thoughts and then letting them go can be very calming. I love it that you have said a thought is not a command. Just letting it / them pass like clouds in the sky or Dan Siegel says you can look at them as though you are under the ocean where it is calm and thoughts are on the surface causing turbulence but deeper down is not affected. Anyway, these are just my thoughts that I wanted to share. If you don’t feel like writing here, it will be understandable but I hope all goes well and I’ll keep dropping in. Blast off day tomorrow. All the very best, my friend. BIG hugs.

    Thought : ‘how we react to ‘inputs’ is entirely up to us! 😀

    Thinking about you, Lolly.

    You are all so very kind and I truly do appreciate the good wishes.

    I had my first session, so now I know better what to expect on a daily basis for the next few weeks. I find that there is nothing I need to do but live in the present moment and show up on time.

    I’ve been warned that possible side effects may affect my food choices at some point, but since I doubt that anyone will be insisting on sugar being essential we’ll figure it out when/if.

    When you find a system that works, you can tweak it here and there to fit your life. Can’t fast this week? Pick it back up as soon as you can and just keep moving forward. I’m making no hard and fast promises right now about specifics because I don’t yet know the variables. But I can say that I’ll be staying within my own system, because it’s part of who I am now.

    It’s amazing how much else there is out there when food is no longer the centre of your universe!

    How nice for you Lolly that food is no longer the centre of your universe lol. I’m still totally obsessed with it. But I’m sure it would disappear off my page if my health were being threatened in any other way though. Although I suspect you had got to that stage before this health issue.
    Are you getting any side effects? Or does it take a while for the radiotherapy to cause them. You really do display a lot of tolerance for what is going on in your life. You seem to be very pragmatic. Has this always been the case? Loving kindness and compassion towards yourself will see you through.

    Interesting question, Fuvvie: pragmatism or acceptance? Pragmatism, certainly, in my natural approach to solutions, but that alone has never brought me the success with food issues I needed. There was a sudden shift in my thinking when the light bulb went on and everything clicked into place. I realised that I had to stop fighting against — and start working with. Acceptance was the missing element and finding it has made all the difference.

    There is no “diet” to fight against now. My food plan is 100% fitted to ME, aided by the best ideas I’ve culled from the advice and example of others. It includes only food I love but balanced in a way never possible before. It makes losing weight effortless because I’m going in the direction my body wants to go — towards health. No kicking and rebellious screaming required.

    This same approach can be applied to everything in my life. I don’t seem to encounter difficult people anymore. Problems have solutions. For the unsolvable there is still acceptance.

    All of us have challenges — that’s just life. Mine happens to be cancer at the moment but the principle is the same. You do what you can with what you’ve got, find the best solution possible, and allow in people to do what you cannot. Allowing people in has been the most difficult part of my journey but by far the most rewarding.

    Treatment is going well. Side effects may begin to appear a fortnight in but so far so good.

    I’ve had to tweak my food plan to adjust for a few issues but still managed to lose another pound. I accept that for the moment weight loss takes a back seat to general health but it’s no excuse to go off the rails. And after all this, I can no longer imagine any excuse good enough!

    18 st./10 lbs.

    I’m happy to hear that all is going well. Resilient is another description I have thought of. Resilience and self belief are powerful tools,
    Do you do much reading, Lolly? I am reading I am Pilgrim. A bit grizzly but absorbing.
    I allowed myself to get into a stew yesterday and decided after dinner to just get into bed and read and shut the rest of the household away. My mind ran over what they would generally watch on a Monday night when I suddenly realised I was supposed to be at choir practice. I was out of bed, changed and grabbing my music, was out of the house within 5 minutes and on my way 1/2 hour late😡😳😂 I was there just in time to sing my part in Tarantara. It just shows how one can become self obsessed and overlook important things. The choir practice was really enjoyable. It relaxed my mind. Talk soon. Warm regards, Fuvvie

    That choir practice sounds like just the thing to release a lot of stress, Fuvvie — and I know you have more than your fair share at the moment. You’re doing so well with all the balancing of the needs of others so I’m glad you have carved out some time for yourself, too.

    I do love to read all sorts of things, although I find myself looking for fairly light stuff at the moment. Buttonboots will appreciate that I’m re-working my way through the entire Chalet School series as my fall-asleep aid!

    I’m another pound down, which is a relief as I’ve had to modify my food plan several times now due to the therapy. The less weight I have to carry, the better.

    18 st./9 lbs.

    Another pound. Well done, Lolly. What sort of changes have you had to make to your food intake? I could so do with some of your calm right now. I’ve gone absolutely nuts today in more ways than one. I’m childminding tonight as it is my daughter’s 20th wedding anniversary, and they have gone away for the night. So here I am with great grandma and grandchildren. So we bought takeaway Indian, rice and all, coconut prawns, garlic naan, chocolates and chips. For the first time in 4 months, I had absolutely everything and expect to puff up like a balloon tomorrow. If indeed that happens, I will be able to confirm absolutely that my new way of life prior to tonight is the absolute best for me. I know that already but as they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and I expect everything that JF says will bear fruit. I think I may have been under-eating on my NFDs and wonder if my body is really starting to fight back to restore my body set point, and now I have to shock it into or out of some metabolic quagmire.
    If you listen to Ella Fitzgerald on Youtube singing To Keep My Love Alive, you will hear the song I will be singing in the next concert. It is a bit of a hoot.
    I had to look the Chalet books up on Google to see if I recognised them. I think I may have read one when I was much younger, but there are 51 of them and apparently they are rare now. I used to love boarding school stories and when I actually became a boarder for twelve months, I thought all my Christmases had come at once. It was a great time in my life. I loved it. It was a Lutheran co-ed boarding and day scholars school and we are having our 50th re-union next month. My husband was in the same class as myself, although we didn’t start going out together till the end of third year at uni. I had better go to bed before I get swept away on a wave of nostalgia. I love to read Georgette Heyer for feel good books, or Anne of Green Gables. Night and big hugs.

    Wednesday Weigh-In time and I’m very pleased to be down another 2 pounds. It’s mostly because the radiation is beginning to play merry hell with my digestion, but hey! a loss is a loss.

    The changes I’ve been temporarily forced to make to my diet: reduce fats and fibre, and eliminate dairy/spices/caffeine/fruit. This, combined with my own ban on sugars etc., leaves me with a bit of veg plus meat and eggs. I’ve been enjoying lots of home-made chicken soup.

    I was initially a bit worried about having to moderate my food plan, having got to where I was really doing well with it. With earlier weight loss attempts, a minor deviation was usually an excuse to chuck the whole thing in. But these adjustments are just for the next few weeks so I can do this. Also, without the sugar, my eating can be rational and sane.

    Otherwise, I’m still feeling generally quite well in my third week of treatment, with 3 more to go.

    Fuvvie, I listened to that song and it’s hilarious — I hope you have so much fun singing it!

    As for the Indian feast, sometimes we need an experience like that — just to drive home the lessons we have learned. It’s rarely as enjoyable as we thought it would be, especially the next day. It must be hard not to join in when everyone around you is tucking in, but maybe you can find a clever way to cook some of those gorgeous flavours into stuff you can eat and keep a few portions in the freezer. Curry over cauliflower rice is lovely, and you can find recipes for low carb naan online.

    One thing you mentioned is particularly important, I think: under-eating on a non-fast day will do you no favours in the long run. Resolve collapses when we are starving. I love LCHF because I never felt that deprivation yet lost weight easily. It works so well in tandem with IF.

    18 st./7 lbs.

    Great job losing, Lolly!
    Glad that your treatment is going well, and admire your strength and positive attitude.
    🙂

    Hi Lolly, You are powering along. 2 lb down and half way through your treatment. The time is flying. My husband thinks he will be up for radiation treatment, but that’s crossing the bridge before we get to it. He was due home on Wednesday, but a problem cropped up and we may not have him back home till tomorrow week. Very disappointing. He will have his tests on 16th September and this will clarify what comes next. You must be thanking your lucky stars that you started cutting your foods before your treatment started. Being on such a restricted diet would have been a huge challenge if you hadn’t already weeded out a heap of stuff. You are right about cooking things up and freezing them. And I love cauliflower rice. Just have never been a planner.

    Thanks, coldpizza! I do so appreciate the support and I hope you’re going on well yourself. I know you can do it.

    So sorry to hear about your husband, Fuvvie. I do hope the 16th brings more clarity for you both and that he’ll be home sooner.

    As you say, I am deeply grateful to have found food clarity before this treatment started. I’d have been in a right muddle just about now!

    In the category of “Interesting Food Things I Have Learned” during this experience: having enough fat in my diet is essential for my peace around food. Because my digestive system is being affected by the radiation, I’ve had to cut back to what is essentially a low-fat low-fibre diet. And I don’t feel satisfied at all, even though the calories are adequate. My brain has even flirted with the images of sweet things.

    Now, some of that might be put down to old stress response patterns, but it does feel like a physical thing as well: my body is NOT happy with higher carb and lower fat and goes looking for some vague “more” without knowing quite what that might be. It feels similar to that sort of prowling before a mindless binge.

    I have to use willpower to resist this response, and knowing where it’s coming from means I can do that for another few weeks — but I’m not enjoying the sensation. What I am taking from it, though, is valuable information which is reinforcing what I’ve learned here. It’s the silver lining to the cloud. There is zero doubt in my mind that I have worked out the right plan for me and I look forward to getting back to it as soon as may be.

    Wednesday Weigh-In with a slightly delayed but happy report of another pound less to carry around.

    18 st./6 lbs.

    Well done Lolly. You are managing so well. You fill me with admiration. I put a post in here on Thursday but it didn’t stick for some reason. Anyway, all the best.

    It’s kind of you, Fuvvie. I know some of the pressures you are under right now yourself and I think it is you who is more rightly worthy of admiration.

    It’s four weeks down, two to go for me now. I’m feeling better than I expected so that’s a huge plus. All I have to do is keep showing up every day and let others do their thing — not something I’ve been willing to trust to previously but there’s a lesson for me in that somewhere.

    Wednesday Weigh-In and another two pounds dismissed. I have to credit the lack of appetite for this one but I’ll take it anyway.

    18 st./4 lbs.

    You are such a legend Lolly. You keep on keeping on. Sorry to hear you’ve lost your appetite. You’re 2/3 of the way there. As for your weight, it is a lovely steady decline.
    My husband got the good news today that the PSA is undetectable so he’s over the moon. He had so much pain post-op that he was thinking maybe he took the wrong option, but now he’s glad he did have the surgery. So no radiotherapy for him at this stage. It is such a relief. We celebrated with a couple of glasses of vino. Just have to make sure it doesn’t become a habit!!!! Must go to bed. It’s 23:19 and I’m tired. Night.

    Great job Lolly dismissing those pounds!

    Fuvvie,
    What a wonderful news about your husband! You both must be thrilled.

    We had our PSA scare a couple of years ago. Turned out that we were eating too much cheese. I cut cheese consumption for my husband down so drastically, that sometimes there is no cheese at all in my fridge (used to be 4-5 types at any day). His PSA was down so much over those two years. I shared this with all my friends. Of course it is not cure from cancer, but for enlarge prostate due to aging process.
    I never heard of the connection, and was surprised by how much information on the cheese/milk and prostate enlargement (including development of cancer) connection on the internet.

    By the way, my husband is vegetarian (he still eats fish and shrimps), and cheese was huge part of his diet. I was surprise how easy he adjusted his diet to almost no cheese. We use mostly soft cheese now once in a while.

    Stay healthy and happy. Lolly, praying for you and your health. You rock!

    Wonderful news for you and your husband, Fuvvie! I’m so happy to hear it. There’s one thing you can cross off your worry list.

    I found that cheese/PSA connection you mentioned, cold pizza, very interesting. I passed it along to my father who is having problems along that line — and he does love his cheese! Thanks for mentioning it.

    So. I am now finished my 5 weeks of regular radiation. Next week, it’s 3 specifically targeted sessions and I’ll be done on Friday. First thing on my agenda will be — what else? — a cup of tea! Then I will know that life is back on track.

    I think I’m doing fairly well, all things considered. I give credit for that to having been able to modify my food as I went along. I certainly wouldn’t have managed that 6 months ago. I was unconnected to what was happening to my body with food once it passed my tongue. Now, I can feel what is happening and respond with a brain that gets it. Information is power!

    There is so much to learn from all of this. One of the most important things I’ll take away from the people I have met is how much attitude matters. Perspective changes everything and even a small shift can bring those light-bulb moments to move us forward.

    Lolly, I bet the people you have been having the radiotherapy with have found your attitude inspiring. I am trying not to put you on a pedestal but find myself constantly saying “Look at what Lolly is achieving with all she has to contend with. Now get your act together and get on with it!!!”
    Child minding this next fortnight as it is school holidays. I’m thinking of getting the dinghy down onto the dam and watching them learn how to row. It is quite a small dam but big enough to do that. Our kids had a canoe which provided hours of fun in the school holidays. But that is long gone. I’ll take them to a water park one day as that provides them with a couple of hours of activity and they tire themselves out. Anything to keep them away from the screens. They seem to get screen brain and get very irritable.
    Time to get active. Goal is to get back to 103.2 kgs which I haven’t seen in over a month. Hope this week’s 3 focused treatments really hit the spot and eradicate the traitor within. No doubt even this has taught you more about yourself and your capabilities. Lots of white light coming your way. Big hugs.

    I have this image of you bashing yourself over the head with an inflatable Lolly-on-a-stick, Fuvvie…. I have terrible balance so no pedestals for me! Thank you for the kind words, however. They mean a great deal.

    I had some slower patches, too. Just keeping moving forward and it’s all going to work out well for both of us.

    You’re so right about excessive screen time for children — adults, too, come to that. Hope you all enjoyed the water park and got thoroughly soaked.

    It’s Wednesday Weigh-In and I have the pleasure to announce a drop of 3 lbs. this week. Exciting stuff, as I’m getting close to breaking the 18 stone barrier.

    Only one more session, then…. TEA! I can scarcely wait.

    18 st./1 lb.

    I loved the “Lolly on a stick” Laughed out loud. So how did the first cup of tea go? I hope it gave you a feeling of bliss. Can you believe those 6 weeks have passed. Where did they go. Same place as your excess baggage. 18st1lb. That’s wonderful. Bring on the 17s🎶💐🙃

    Ah, yes. That first cup of tea. How I dwelt longingly on the moment when caffeine would be mine again at last. My big mug was ready. My favourite brew steeping. I took my first sip. It was… absolutely disgusting!

    The radiation leaves a metallic taste in the mouth at times and I’d almost lost awareness of it. Seems that something about tea makes it much worse — like biting down on foil when you have metal fillings.

    Yikes! I think that first blissful cup may have to wait a little longer yet. I made do with coffee instead.

    Other than that, I am extremely happy to be finished treatment. Now I feel that I can begin to work out a new normal, and I hope to be fully back into LCFH within a fortnight. It’s not that I haven’t lost weight, because I have, but these weeks have driven home the difference between a “diet” and a “food plan”. One I struggle to stay on, the other is just — how I live now. And I know where I’d rather be.

    Hi Lolly,

    I love “these weeks have driven home the difference between a “diet” and a “food plan”. One I struggle to stay on, the other is just — how I live now. And I know where I’d rather be.” I would like to use this quote on Day 1 of the October challenge if that is alright with you. The mental acceptance is the deal maker.

    I was so disappointed for you that the first cup was disgusting. O Me Miserum! I know what that metallic taste is like. I was once on an antibiotic that did that to me and it was gross. I hope the side effect goes away sooner rather than later. Do you like Rooibos tea? I thought I hated it but have come to really enjoy it lately. I’m drinking more of that than coffee at the moment as I have had a bit of a rebellion against coffee…don’t know why.

    I just told Buttonboots I was going to go and do vacuuming and immediately scooted over to you. I want to see what ETJ is up to as well. She has a lot on her plate. How I value all you lovely people. Talk soon.

    You’re going to help a lot of people with your service as co-ordinator this month, Fuvvie. It would be an honour if anything I’ve written can help you as well. Quote away!

    This is a week of trying to return to normal. Lingering side effects mean slower progress than I’d like but I’m getting there. I’m catching up on sleep. Best of all, I can once more enjoy my tea — although it’ll be a long time before I forget that first mouthful!! I have heard of Rooibos tea but never tried it. I’ll put it on my “adventure list” for when I feel brave.

    Hi Lolly, No report on Wednesday weigh in🤔 Not like you. How are you travelling? I think I have turned my thinking around and have hopefully stopped the rot.
    I’m glad you can now drink tea. It’s little to ask that a cup of tea tastes normal, I would have thought.
    Are you getting back to normal with your LCHF way of eating.
    Is wondering how things are going post radiotherapy like the elephant in the room? I have a close friend who had breast cancer with surgery, chemo and radiotherapy. The whole kit and caboodle. She talks about the elephant in the room, but is living life to the full. She has always watched her intake and eats foods as close to normal as possible. She doesn’t colour her hair and goes swimming in the ocean as often as possible. She and her husband have just been on a trip to Sri Lanka.
    Talk soon. Warm regards, Fuvvie xx

    Wednesday Weigh-In again, after missing last week. I didn’t break through the barrier, but — I did hit 18 stone exactly! I’ll take it.

    It’s been a rough couple of weeks. The fatigue finally kicked in and my attempt to return to normal eating was premature. I was getting frustrated and a whole herd of elephants invaded the room once the routine of daily treatment was over. I took an offer of a change of scenery and it did me good to get away for a few days. The solitude gave me a chance to regain some perspective, so I feel, if not quite back on track, definitely somewhere in the right station.

    You’re quite right, Fuvvie — nothing is ever quite the same again. But it’s just life and the balancing act we have to perform every day. There’s only ever today, no matter what my mind insists on fussing about. I’m so glad to hear that you’ve got a handle on things and turned your thinking around. Once we click into the right spot it just seems so easy! We ask ourselves why we didn’t do this YEARS ago, but we do what matters when we’re ready.

    It’s good to be back.

    18 st., on the nose

    Hello Lolly, I’m sorry that the journey back is taking a little longer than hoped for and a bit rough, but the time away would have been very therapeutic, I imagine.

    18stone. That’s fabulous. I’ll await next Wednesday with bated breath and have the champers chilling in the fridge. Shame you are so far away.

    The corner was turned and then another corner, but I have done a U-turn and am having a very good liquid fast today. I am going to complete this liquid fast and am feeling really good so far. I’ve cut out the coffee and am drinking the rooibos (red bush) tea.

    Hope you have the best week and that the scales smile upon you.

    Get ready to pop that cork, Fuvvie! I’m back in the swing of things and feeling much more like myself again.

    I was getting frustrated by the food restrictions necessary to cope with side effects, and I pushed a little too quickly to get back to normal. File that under “Man proposes, God disposes” and consider me schooled.

    It’s been a good reminder that I have zero control over the rate of weight loss. I’m not making any specific goals of X amount lost by Y date, although I do find that I enjoy having a goal like smashing through the next stone barrier. I need to feel like the winner I am here, and averaged out over the last seven months I’ve lost something under 2 lbs. a week. But averages don’t tell the whole story, as some weeks have been much higher and some have been nil results.

    What I do have is full control over is what I put in my mouth. It’s up to me to take responsibility for my choices. Beyond that, my body is the one in charge of the rate of change. Some weeks, I’ve thought that I “deserved” more. Other weeks, I get a drop I didn’t expect.

    There’s a balancing act, between trying to see the big picture and zooming in on the moment — on experiencing one meal at a time. On having a general direction but not trying to hammer down details so far in advance that I feel trapped. On preparation, not regimentation.

    I value freedom so highly. Some might think, looking on from the outside, that my LCHF/5:2 path appears restrictive. When people have asked me how I’ve lost the weight I can see the horror on their faces at the thought of giving up sweets and bread. But from my perspective it’s given me the key to opening up the world again.

    The dietary confirmation I am taking away from the last couple of months is this: while I did continue to lose weight, neither my body nor my mind was satisfied with the low-fat regime. Even for weight loss I couldn’t keep that up for long, and only forced circumstances kept me on it. It had nothing to do with calories, I might add. They were adequate. But I felt unsatisfied — the old restless aimless standing-in-the-kitchen-wanting-something hunger. What stops that for me is the addition of healthy fats. The calories may be the same but what a difference! Losing weight, not hungry, not obsessing about food. Seems a good deal to me.

    And that’s really the point: it’s what works for me. Others here are doing just as well on what works for them and seeing that gives me encouragement to follow my own path. I have a direction and a plan — and a whole heap of gratitude for those around me sharing as they go.

    Hi Lolly, How I wish it were true that I did have control over what I put in my mouth. Theoretically, it should be true. And yes, I am the one making the choices of what goes in said mouth, and I do stop at cakes, biscuits, lollies and sugar. The foods going in aren’t BAD foods, just too much of any one food. I roasted a couple of lamb shanks today, one for Mother and one for myself. She was asleep. I ate both of them. And they were good. However…….
    I’m 73 steps short of my 10000 steps for today. So the arm will tingle shortly when I prepare for bed. I’m tired. I have 26 Georgette Heyer books on audible and will finish off Venetia tonight before sleep. I’m seeing the sleep apnoea /respiratory physician tomorrow. She’s not going to be thrilled with me, but c’est la vie. It is what it is.
    Auditions went ok and the concerts are a week and a half away, with the rehearsal this Sunday. At least I haven’t let my weight get in the way of this.

    I would that I had your ability to hone in on the main points like your dietary confirmation. It’ll come, I’m sure. The challenge seems to be going well. It is helping.

    Good luck with your weigh in this Wednesday. Wow, that is tomorrow already. Cork about ready to pop out of the bottle.

    Bless you Lolly and Fuvvie.

    Reading this thread is so helpful. It is kind of funny, because logical me is like Lolly – make plans, rules, explanations – all encouraging and inspiring.
    And here is emotional me – just like Fuvvie – trying hard to follow the rules, but always breaking them – all about good feeling in the moment and enjoying life.

    Fuvvie, you make me chuckle with your lamb shanks story. How many times I am making some food “for my husband” that I end up eating!

    It is a real struggle to connect logical and emotional parts. Lolly, you are amazing that you were able to find path that fits your goal so well.

    Seeing big picture somehow is easy for me, but zooming in and controlling my food intake at the moment is very hard. Sometimes, I cannot say how the cookie or handful of nuts end up in my mouth. Or how I end up standing in front of refrigerator looking “for something”. Little bit of this and little bit of that – and I am ending up of consuming twice of my TDEE easily. 🙁

    Well, there is another day, and we can plan and hope again. 🙂

    Just a quick post for my Wednesday Weigh-In before I head out the door. Pop that cork, Fuvvie — I’m 3 pounds down and that barrier is well and truly smashed!

    17 st./11 lbs.

    Hooray for Lolly!
    Drums and fireworks!

    Congratulations, Lolly. 🍾🍾That is wonderful. I am so delighted for you. 3 lbs down. That is fantastic. What a great post Coldpizza. You are showing a lot of insight. I’m sure you will get there as you seem so much more positive.

    Thank you, Fuvvie and coldpizza — having friends to share good news with makes it even sweeter!

    I learn something every day from posts on this forum so if mine help you in any way, coldpizza, I am glad to return the favour. Every one of us is picking their way through a minefield and just when you think you’ve got the way cleared… you find another one.

    It’s hardly an original thought, but of all the addictions food is perhaps the trickiest to manage because we can’t ban it outright forever. We have to figure out how to consume the substance we abuse in a way that serves, not harms, us. And we have to do this all day, every day. We have to do this despite the legal luring practiced by advertisers, the mountains of temptation all around us, and social pressures.

    Not to mention the general stresses of life that a treat could make SO much better for 30 seconds.

    Looking back over many years, I can see now that wanting the benefit of change is not the same as wanting to change. I wanted to be a normal weight — without giving up any of my eating habits. Even as a child, I dreamed of a land where I could eat sweets non-stop with no consequences! I berated myself for lack of willpower, though I never lacked for stubbornness in anything else.

    The triggers and processes of change are so individual. Successful change involves body, mind, and soul. We all know that diets work — at least for a while. We all know logically that we’d feel better at a normal weight. We all seek a meaningful connection to make sense of the world. What IS it about that 30-second hit which blocks us from putting those three elements together and feeling so much better than we do?

    As each of us puts the pieces of the puzzle together, there are moments of clarity when we see parts of the picture. We have to be prepared to use those opportunities to move ourselves forward. It’s a process, and sometimes you can only measure success by seeing how far you’re come because at the moment it might seem as if you’re not moving at all.

    If it is true that the only constant is change we must be working much harder than we need to, if we’re resisting it!

    Lolly, you never cease to amaze me with your font of wisdom. Don’t ever stop putting your thoughts onto this thread, because I would be devastated.

    Did you ever read The Magic Faraway Tree as a child? It was one of my favourite books, and I have bought a beautiful copy so my grandchildren can read it. I also have the Enchanted Wood and the Folk of the Faraway Tree. Anyway, I always wished I could climb up the ladder through the hole in the clouds into the lands that came to the top of the tree, particularly the land of Goodies and the Land of Birthdays. The description of food used to really get me in. I wanted those toffee shocks and google buns. My mother used to make delicious cakes and toffees, chocolate fudge and the like for the school tuck shop. They wouldn’t let you do that now I suppose, but we loved them. And she made the best Anzac biscuits I have ever tasted. I could never reproduce them. Now I wouldn’t by choice. We were given money to buy tuckshop but could go down the street from the primary school and buy fish and chips, and there was a cake shop that sold brandy snaps full of cream. Why do I have a weight problem? Rewards were always food. When we visited my grandmother, she had a special place in a special long cupboard where she kept a sweet called Golden Malts. I can almost taste them now. They were the highlight of our visits to her. When all this is in your psyche, and such pleasurable feelings arise with the memories, there’s little wonder that we fight so much against restrictions now. All that programming for all those years.

    So now, here we are and I was feeling so down this morning till I went and had a long chat with my eldest daughter, who is an absolute gem. Actually, all 4 of my daughters are gems and I am very blessed in them and my son. But we then walked on the beach and got totally into the waves in the ocean, and I feel rejuvenated and feel really positive about the way forward. I probably sound as though I have bipolar affective disorder, but know I don’t because the psychiatrist said so a few years back when I got really quite depressed. I must get out into the beach more often. Grandma is just going to have to get used to being dragged out a bit more. It is hard on a 92 year old who just really wants to be left alone to gaze at the hills and clouds, but I can’t continue to live the life of a 92 year old prematurely. Life is for the living and we have to live it.

    So much for my rant. Thank you for being there. Big hugs 😻

    I do remember those Enid Blyton books very well, Fuvvie — nice to know they are still being read after all these years. Ah, for the Land of Do-as you-please! What child wouldn’t go there if they could? Or what adult, come to that.

    It’s Wednesday Weigh-In again already and I’m excited to report a dismissal of another 2 lbs. After a good loss last week I didn’t have my hopes set high but this morning delivered.

    I’m getting ready to konmari my wardrobe as there are now so many things which are TOO BIG!! I still can’t quite believe that I can write that. 😀

    17 st./9 lbs.

    Big fanfare for Lolly 🎺 Wow. Almost halfway in the 17s. That is brilliant. I had breakfast this morning of bacon 1 slice and 1 egg plus coffee which is now stone cold so pretend it is ice coffee. Today was going to be an FD and I suppose it still can be if I keep under the 500 cals. I don’t count cals generally, but perhaps it is worthwhile every now and then. Will do my best. I want to lose the weight as you are. Walking today. Life is getting more active.

    Great job Lolly!
    I wish I could learn what you are doing. My “weight loss” going backwards. 🙁

    Thanks so much, Fuvvie and coldpizza. I’m really feeling much more like myself again.

    I can identify so strongly with the frustrations you have both expressed recently about struggling to move forward after initial success. One of the things I did worry about during treatment was whether I would be able to pick back up and move on with my food plan afterwards. Make that not “able”, but “willing”. New territory for me.

    Perhaps this is a good time to open a discussion about how to overcome self-sabotage since we are so prone to it.

    Consider this. We find 5:2 and it works a treat. We lose weight and are so excited to finally have a solution for life. It’s easy! It works! We’re gung-ho! Then, there’s a special food occasion, or a slip, or a crisis — or resentment or boredom. A treat makes it better, and we promise to work twice as hard next week. Before we know it, we’re 2 weeks behind and the scales are no longer giving good news.

    Worst case scenario, we give up, disgusted with ourselves for our weakness. It’s another “diet” failure. I’ve literally had hundreds of those in the past.

    What goes wrong? 5:2 works, and we say we want the weight loss. We know what to do. In a logical world, that would be enough — but in a logical world I’d have never become the size of house, either!

    Fuvvie, you put your finger on it when you wrote: ” When all this is in your psyche, and such pleasurable feelings arise with the memories, there’s little wonder that we fight so much against restrictions now. All that programming for all those years.”

    For emotional eaters, this is not a “food” fight. Food is our drug of choice but if we only focus on the drug we miss the real issue — which is, what is driving us to use it?

    A lasting solution requires personal change. There are many ways to do this but outside help can speed up the process. I used a few sessions of cognitive therapy and found it very helpful in seeing patterns and applying solutions.

    Change isn’t easy and we resist it, but what it does is bring you back to the real you. Only the warped and broken parts are changed in such a process — why do we cling to them so?

    Perception is so important: it can change “restriction” into “freedom”. Are we on a “diet” or living a “way of life”? Are we doing what we think we should (resentment) or what we truly want (freedom)?

    If what you’re doing now isn’t working, doing it twice as hard won’t help. Let’s work smarter, not harder — and support each other as we figure out some solutions. This is for life, my friends. No more diets for us!

    How do you do it, Lolly? Where do you get the clarity? I love “If what you are doing now isn’t working, doing it twice as hard won’t help”. I’ve just read this, and thought it was worth copying, and it’s not new, but worth repeating I think

    Slowly Break Away from Old Patterns
    Occasional treats are fine. But if you often think of food as a reward — when you’ve had a rough day, or even when you’ve eaten well — that’s a red flag🚩.
    Dig a bit deeper. When you’re tempted to give in to reward eating, take 5 minutes to write down what’s going on.
    Think about the automatic thoughts you had. Automatic thoughts are what you say to yourself. They’re how you interpret what you hear and see, which doesn’t always match the facts.

    When you’re upset, write down what your first negative thought was, and look at it objectively.
    • Are my feelings based on facts?
    • What would someone else think about what happened?
    • Is my reaction reasonable given what happened?
    After you’ve had this kind of thinking, write out a more realistic thought, one with a more balanced perspective.
    Finally, write what you could do next time you’re upset or in a similar situation that would be more effective.

    This writer also said

    Drastic, over-the-top plans won’t take you to your goal weight.
    Instead, take small steps toward a realistic goal. It will keep you moving steadily forward. It may take longer than you’d like, but you’re much more likely to stick with your plan.
    You can set smaller goals along the way, too. And they don’t all have to involve the bathroom scale.

    Yesterday, I had fasted for 24 hours up until I went to a get together last night. I avoided the food at the afternoon tea after the concert, having just a cup of tea. Dinner with the other choir members and their partners was pizza ordered in, nibbles and wine. I ended up having 4 slices of pizza, not enjoying the 4th slice, some nuts (can’t escape them. They have my number) and one glass of wine followed by soda water for the rest of the evening. I shed .6kg overnight. It looks as though I have maintained my weight for the month, again. Tomorrow is Melbourne Cup Day, a public holiday in Melbourne and nationally listened to and parties are held all over the country. I am going to such a party. There will be finger foods and wine. It’s the first day of the November challenge. I have the freedom to not eat, or to choose judiciously from what is on offer and rein in the eating. It is after all, a social occasion, not necessarily an eating occasion. Sabotage or doing what feels best for my body? I’ll let you know how I get on.

    Hmm, a lot to think about.
    Thank you, Lolly and Fuvvie.

    Hi Lolly, I keep checking in but haven’t seen you for ages. I hope all is well with you. xxx

    Same with me. Miss you Lolly. 🙁

    Today is usually your weigh in day, Lolly, so hoping to see something from you. It is over a month now and you are sorely missed. I really miss Austrian as well. Wishing you wellness and joy. Hugs Heather aka Fuvvie xx

    I am back again after a month away helping with a family issue. This has not been the easiest year, all round. One of the first things I did was get on the scales and they confirmed what my clothes were already telling me — I am up nine pounds!

    It’s very disappointing, but not unexpected. While away, I stopped doing my fast days and my carb intake was significantly higher although still of the healthier variety.

    It is SO much easier to put weight on than to take it off! I’m looking at the calendar and thinking that it’ll take me at least another month to get back to where I was a month ago. I feel angry and disappointed with myself — and that’s a dangerous place.

    This is the point where I have to stop and regroup my thoughts. Life isn’t a straight line. Stuff happens. Perfectionism is not my friend. This is not a race. Time to re-focus on my own needs and move ahead.

    Today is a fast day. It feels good to be home.

    I’m feeling back on track after a couple of FDs. Fasting comes with its own reward: the simplicity of it is peaceful. My thoughts are clearer, my body has that agreeably “lean” feeling — and no washing up waiting in the sink! I’ve seen others here comment on how eating days can be a lot harder than fast days and I think that’s often true. Having to think about food, shop for it, prepare it, eat it, and then STOP eating it can be daunting on a daily basis.

    I’ve had time to come to terms with what happened last month. I think it’s important to understand the “why” of a thing so I can learn from it and move on.

    There are two components to successful weight loss: the physical and the emotional. The physical seems harder at first but once you figure out a plan which fits it’s simply a mechanical process to repeat daily. The far trickier bit is making the emotional adjustment. In other words, we know WHAT to do — but we have to choose to do it.

    Why wouldn’t we choose what is healthy for us, knowing what we know?

    Some of the answer for me lies in the distant past when, as a child, sweets distracted from stress. I really didn’t develop any other coping skills until relatively recently and in times of anxiety it’s still the place my mind goes instantly. I suspect, like an alcoholic, this will always be true for me. I don’t have to act on the impulse but it IS my first one, so I need to do a manual override each time.

    Stuff happens. After holding things together all through treatment and recovery, perhaps rebellion was inevitable. It didn’t help to spend a month surrounded by food I needed to avoid. Definitely a lot of resentment there but I think I’ve got it out of my system again. At least for the moment.

    I am reminding myself why I started this back in March: type 2 diabetes. The weight loss had been a very welcome bonus and it’s the visible target right now but I need to continue on my path for more than cosmetic reasons. My doctor is amazed to see my blood sugars stabilised without meds and I want to keep it that way.

    It’s up to me to do this. I have the framework in place of 5:2 and LCHF for the physical side, and that is the winning combo for me. The emotional side is a work in progress, but every challenge is an opportunity to delete old junk and move forward.

    Wednesday Weigh-In, and I’ve shifted 4 of those 9 lbs I gained while away. I’ll start the official clock again when I’m back to where I was, but for the moment I’m just happy to be moving in the right direction again.

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