Lolly_ …. lots to lose, and everything to gain!

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Lolly_ …. lots to lose, and everything to gain!

This topic contains 330 replies, has 25 voices, and was last updated by  Fuvvie 5 years, 11 months ago.

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  • Hi Lolly. Congratulations on your 3 month milestone. Isn’t it wonderful to do this for yourself without putting money in someone else’s pocket only to regain the loss plus some? Weight watchers, Gloria Marshall, Fernwood, Jenny Craig, an obesity clinic paying for the specialist, dietician, exercise physiologist, and 6 weeks on nothing but milk!!!!! This feels like a sustainable WOL and no deprivation if you don’t count sugar, pastries, meat pies, croissants lol. When I mentioned to a chap that one might feel deprived watching others eat these things, his reply was ” deprived of what? A slim body? Good health? Being morbidly obese?” No point having a pity party. It is what it is and I can admire my slimmer ankles rather than cankles since giving up the grains and sugar. Pitting oedema pretty much gone. Bring it on. Keep up the good work and the great posts. My daughter said that she’s happy to read posts but never contributes. Research shows, she said, that people who contribute do better. I think it’s true. I’ve never contributed before to posts, but find it so inspiring to line myself up with such positive people. Wishing you joy!

    You put your finger on one of the most important factors in successful life changes, Fuvvie — attitude. Is it deprivation of sugar or is it freedom from sugar? Either way, there’s no sugar — but a tremendous difference in my happiness level.

    I also think your daughter is right about the benefits of contributing, and I’m so glad you do.

    Sounds like you are making fantastic progress ! Well Done !
    I’m in all of week 2 πŸ™‚ Doing a LoCal day today or a Lady Limit day or a Light (lady) day? ! πŸ™‚ Whatever! πŸ™‚
    Feeling a bit hungry having had a light ham salad – but got another cuppa so will be OK! πŸ™‚ Will have soup or salad or something else later ! πŸ™‚
    I have to watch the pennies so everything is kept v v v simple and cheap! πŸ™‚
    Certainly attitude is crucial to everything we do and it helps our motivation too.
    I’m not sure that I am ready to give up sugar… just yet but I’m certainly reduced it! πŸ™‚
    It’s comfort eating I might slip up on but so far trying to stay positive and trundle along OK! πŸ˜€ Keep going! πŸ˜€

    Aurora, I can identify with watching the pennies! I certainly can’t stretch to buying exotic specialty stuff — or the best of grass-fed meat and organic veg for that matter — but I do shop carefully for the best I can afford. My food bills have dropped noticeably, which might surprise some people when I talk of eating butter, cream, cheese, bacon, etc. The amount I’m eating now is a far cry from my binging days, so of course that makes a difference as well.

    You really don’t have to spend a lot to eat well when you’re only buying real food. I like to cook, which helps, but I find myself making very simple meals and enjoying every bite.

    Well done for reaching week two! If you can do that, you can go all the way. It takes time to find your best plan so be kind to yourself as you go.

    Hi Lolly thanks. πŸ™‚ I think it helps that I never eat at the same time, rarely have ever had 3 meals a day and occasionally have had one meal a day. I think I see this as a bit more organised and especially on the NDays. πŸ™‚
    I know my tough times are going to be when I want to eat emotionally. So far I’ve only slipped by 1 marshmallow! πŸ™‚ On a ND πŸ™‚ (Normal Day) So yep I have a lot of hope that I really really can take back control of my weight ! πŸ™‚ Finally!
    Just really hope that it will work for me too.
    Just seen the moon – mean to be a Strawberry Moon tonight ! It’s very bright that’s for sure ! πŸ™‚

    Wednesday Weigh-In, and I’m another pound lighter. Life is good.

    An interesting aside: I’ve had two complete strangers compliment me on my skin this past week. This was a shock, as I have never had clear skin all my adult life. My rosacea began to clear after eliminating sugar and I suspect that increasing healthy fats has relieved the dryness. Unlike a low-fat diet where my face looked drawn and haggard, LCHF has my skin soft and looking healthy.

    19 st./8 lbs.

    Hi Lolly, I wrote a whole post and then lost it. What a pain. Anyhow, congratulations on your pound lost and being that one pound closer to your goal. I can see that 18st13lb on your horizon. How lovely to have those people comment on your skin. Such a lovely compliment.
    I’ve become worried that I’m not incorporating enough fat in my diet. I’ve cut out the refined carbs and cut down on my protein and this has cut away a significant amount of weight in that I have lost 10% of my bodyweight. But I’m concerned about how sustainable it is. I haven’t counted calories and have started adding more olive oil and fatty cheese. I guess I will have to wait till I have had an FD tomorrow and then weigh the next morning. I’m panicking that I will have stacked on the weight. Lunch today was Kalecoleslaw, four salad leaf salad, mushrooms fried in olive oil with tomato and 1/4 avocado. poured olive oil and apple cider vinegar over the lot. It was lovely but seemed like a lot. Probably eating too big a portions.
    I can feel for you Aurora when you talk about the emotional eating. I have lived my life like that but am now feeling that the time has come to admit that eating didn’t solve a single one of those problems. It just gave me two problems. So we just have to find a better way of dealing with the emotions. Maybe sitting down and pouring it all out into the sympathetic ears here is one way to del with it. No calories taken in in that case and energy used by typing, banging the keys LOL. All the family ate chocolates, ice-cream and lollies whilst watching the State of Origin football last night. I didn’t touch them and played games on my iPad instead. I didn’t exactly exercise this morning but played darts with two of my grandsons. It was a lovely way to spend the morning. Better go and tidy Mother’s room. She is coming home with the occupational therapist to see what alterations need to be made to make the house safer for her. Plenty of dust around that needs shifting.

    Oh Lolly, Buttonboots, Coldpizza, Aurora and Austrian,
    My daughter cooked the. most.delicious.meat pie for dinner. I don’t think I have ever tasted anything like it. The pastry was melt in your mouth perfect and the filling was fan-absolutely-tastic. If anything was going to tip me back into eating carbs, this was it.
    Followed it with a handful of nuts and will have a big drink of water. Then FD tomorrow with no treats whatsoever. Have just said I want to sign up for the next challenge. Oh, that pastry!!! honestly, it was to die for. I had hoped I was over being a foodie. Heaven help me, I think I was lying to myself. Maybe it is the 2 glasses of red wine that’s talking. Got to get on the straight and narrow tomorrow. It’s time for you folk on the other side of the world to give me a good strong talking to.
    Good luck to all those voting in the referendum. What a huge decision. World politics are very interesting at the moment. Australian politics are a mess. We’ll be voting in a couple of weeks. But not as momentous as the referendum.

    Ah, Fuvvie! Add good pastry to the list of things you really can’t replicate! When I was forced to give up wheat six years ago I couldn’t imagine life without bread, pasta and baking. At first, I tried to replicate them, but a poor imitation was unsatisfying. I decided then to find replacements which were real things but not the same things. Rice became my go-to grain. Rice noodles were easy enough, rice cakes and crackers worked well. Rice itself is very adaptable to savoury or sweet dishes. I had food I liked, and I didn’t miss the wheat.

    What this taught me has stood me in good stead today: do not focus on what I can’t have but on what I can.

    Ironically, that rice is now history for me. Along with sugar, I have removed all grains and starches. And once again, I set about finding real foods I liked which naturally didn’t contain them rather than try to replicate. Every meal should be food you love — but it’s a case of “off with the old love and on with the new”.

    You’ve done well so far, Fuvvie, so no panicking! Keep adjusting until you find that sustainable plan. You’ve already learned a lot about what works for you. Fast days will help bring you back in line with where you want to be.

    Hi Lolly! My name is Tina and I just started posting on the boards..nice to meet you.

    I’ve been following the plan since the beginning of June and I just had to pop in and say hello after reading your thread as its been very inspiring.

    Best of luck and wishing you continued success!

    Thank you for those kind words, Tina! Lovely to meet you, too.

    5:2 is such an excellent plan, and following it has given me back my life. I wish you all the very best success in finding your own fit within it. The support here in this forum is wonderful!

    Just re-read your post Lolly. I do love rice but believe I can’t have it. Makes me retain fluid for some reason. Guess it’s all to do with metabolic x syndrome . I’ve got into an old pair of black jeans that have been hiding away in the back of the wardrobe. Had to lie on the bed to zip them up, but there’s so much give in denim that I’m sitting here comfortably in them. You are so right about replacing foods. I’ve pulled out my Mediterranean Cookbook for inspiration. Will have to give the pasta a swerve or use cauliflower rice. That is one substitute that works for me. Thanks so much for your encouragement. I do love the 5:2 as it speaks to the heart of me. All these angels who lift you up with wit, wisdom and caring.

    It is so wonderful to find an old pair of jeans which now fit, Fuvvie! I actually have clothes which are unwearable now — because they are too BIG. But I have boxes of old smaller sizes ahead, beckoning me on. I won’t spend a lot on clothes on the way down but I am setting aside a bit every month for a wardrobe fund so I can splurge when I’m ready.

    Letting rice go (along with all other grains) was relatively easy and I don’t even think about it now. There’s such a huge selection of things I can have — why worry about things I can’t? My food is so peaceful now without all the things which used to trigger binging. When you find what works for you the chaos is banished.

    It’s Wednesday Weigh-In again already and I am delighted to dismiss another 2 lbs. Yay, me!

    Truly, it feels effortless. The whole point of what I am trying to do is to live a simple life, keeping only those things which make sense. No potions, no powders, no pills. Just real food preventing diabetes from reappearing. Plus bonus weight loss.

    Fasting has proven itself to be key to my recovery and to my sense of well-being, but it’s important that it fits in a way that feels natural and easy to do. The more complicated and rigid the plan, the more likely it is to fail. I commit on a weekly basis, review, then adjust if needed. For example, I wasn’t hungry in the mornings, so 16:8 was a natural fit. After a while on LCHF, doing a 24-hr fast was painless, so I added in a couple of those. Others will find what works for them in the same trial and error fashion, and I’m glad I did a fair bit of experimentation early on to set my limits. Within those limits I have huge freedom and I just don’t fret about food any more.

    Life is good.

    19 st./6 lbs.

    Lolly, well done. What a legendπŸ‘πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŠYour loss is coming on nicely. I did my back to backs and managed to get to 110.4kgs , ate increased fat yesterday and am fasting today. I could have gone without breakfast yesterday but didn’t. May try the 16:8 on NFDs to see if that helps. Went for a walk yesterday, as my daughter named me into it. She said”I walked the dogs. You said you were going to walk. So go” She later said she was shocked and thrilled when I went out and did it. Getting warmed up for the challenge tomorrow. Bring it on. Hope to shed 3kg in the 4 weeks. Grand that you so at peace with food and freedom. I can feel the joy.

    Great thread – well done on your losses Lolly and I look forward to reading more about your journey.

    Lolly,
    Such a joy to learn about your success. Congrats on your new low. Your post always puts me back on right path, and reinforce me to stay away from carbs. I wish to learn your discipline and calmness. My journey is so different – seems that I always have to struggle with temptations… πŸ™

    Oh Fuvvie…I love that sentence you wrote “…peace with food and freedom.” I wish that for all of us.

    I Need to write that down and tape it on my desk at work. πŸ™‚

    You raise an interesting point, coldpizza, about discipline and calmness. I have been asking myself why I am succeeding this time when I never could before. Part of the answer lies with a different approach to weight loss, to see it in a more holistic way. By that I mean, not as a separate “wrong” to be fixed with the rest of my life being “right” — but as part of a complete life change, bringing my actions into alignment with a more genuine me.

    When you have a destination, it is easier to plot a course. And in the end, you are always doing what you really want to do, it requires no discipline. It’s just your life. The question is: what do I want to do? (Why do I hear Spice Girls now? ack!)

    Thank you for the kind words, Amritpc. I do hope you find what you need on this forum — there are so many inspirational stories here.

    Good luck with the challenge, fuvvie, and well done on reaching 110.4kg! Let those dogs be your excuse for a walk — they’ll keep you from being bored!

    Hi Lolly, Still haven’t figured out what is holding me back at present but suspect it is still portion size and too much protein. Moving towards your destination, plotting your course, has such a positive impact. Will take a close look at exactly what I am doing. Nuts continue to be a trap for me. Broke my fast at 4pm yesterday as the nuts in the cupboard were calling my name so loudly that I just gave in. I argued that they are full of fat and fibre, so 3 handfuls just had to be ok!!! Right???😳😑
    Theo527, those are really Lolly’s words so all credit due to this very wise person. I really enjoy the peace and calm and humour of this thread. It sustains me.

    I laughed about the nuts, fuvvie, and can really sympathise. I don’t keep them in my kitchen any more, not because they are unhealthy — quite the contrary — but because a reasonable serving of them doesn’t look like enough to me. I used to binge on large quantities of them, so they are trigger foods for me.

    I say that I only eat food I love, and that’s true. But I don’t eat EVERY food I love!

    I find it incredibly helpful to use a food tracker. I use https://cronometer.com (it’s free) but there are lots of others out there. It gives me an immediate understanding of where I am and allows me to play with combinations to get the right ratios for the day ahead. I’m confident about my food choices these days, but this helps me stay focused.

    Hi Lolly,
    After 2NFDs, have managed to stay on track. Whilst driving to Toowoomba, I tried to work out what I could have for lunch, stopping off in Kilcoy, a small country town. All the fast food was high in transfats and carbs :-< So bought a variety of raw nuts and water. Limited myself to a couple of hands full and didn’t feel hungry, but do rather crave the taste. Had a wine with a huge steak and veggies for dinner. On the way home yesterday, stopped for a vienna coffee. Told the lady who served me, when she commented on how lovely a vienna coffee is, that I had abstained from all grains and sugar but found the vienna coffee a real boon. Then she said, but there is sugar in the cream. When I asked why, she said cream without sugar is too bitter!!! I couldn’t believe my ears. I love the taste of plain cream. She puts 1 tablespoons of sugar in a bag of whipped cream, which she pipes onto the coffee. I did enjoy the coffee but it did taste really sweet. Not necessary. Went through agonies worrying about being kicked out of ketogenic state, but then thought I don’t want to get too caught up in that as I want this to be sustainable. 109.6kgs this morning and FD today, so hoping to crack the 109 tomorrow. But if I don’t, it won’t phase me as I know it will come. Have got to go and do that wretched plank. Get it out of the way. Then lovely hot shower. Already feeling the joy of it.

    Fuvvie,
    I was so upset when two months ago I accidentally find out that one of my favorite tea has brown sugar in it. The discovery explains to me why I do like that specific tea more than others.
    I decided not to buy it anymore. So the last bags of the tea become so precious, luxurious and so special, that I very rarely use it, and still have it. πŸ˜€

    Great to see all of you losing some even with handfuls of nuts. I can relate to those “nutty” stories. It is hard to limit those.

    Fasting today!

    I’ve been away for a bit, so my usual Wednesday Weigh-In has turned into Follow-Up Friday — but I am super stoked to record a dismissal of 3 lbs.

    I’m especially pleased since I did this while surrounded by people eating normally and I didn’t stick out like a killjoy on holiday. This has given me a lot of confidence in my ability to navigate around food in social settings. And that’s a good thing if I don’t plan to be a hermit!

    My fears were about: 1) being triggered by the sight/smell of large quantities of food; 2) not having what I need available; and 3) feeling deprived or “different” as others indulged.

    None of these things happened. I planned ahead to bring or make sure I could get what I needed, and as I don’t require anything weird that was easy. Several months of LCHF combined with IF has changed my response to food, so that was easy, too. And once I saw the demands others were making to fit their needs I realised that mine were very simple indeed!

    I maintained 16:8, simply skipping breakfast time. I had gorgeous omelettes with salad for lunch, then whatever un-sauced meats and veg were going for dinner. My only request needed to be for extra veggies to replace starches. Add extra butter — done.

    The points of danger I noted were: 1) snacks between meals, and 2) desserts. I defused both of those bombs with an upfront notification of being diabetic and after that a quiet “no thanks” was enough. I wasn’t hungry, so no feelings of deprivation. I saw that I wasn’t alone in refusing dessert, so I chose to sit with others who were doing the same.

    I had a terrific time and would do it again. It was just a fabulous bonus to get home and check the scales this morning.

    I have so much to be grateful for.

    19 st./3 lbs.

    Well done, Lolly, you are really continuing in your zen state, as Austrian likes to call it. So close to breaking the 19 stone hurdle.
    Food smells are such a trigger. I too feel that being deprived is no longer an issue, as I know that what they are having does me more harm than good. Had to laugh at “a killjoy on holiday”. Reading all your entries, I never would see you as a killjoy. I’d love to sit in a circle with you and Coldpizza, Austrian and Buttonboots and share an hour or two or ten getting to know you all better. It would be like coming away from a conference where you feel all fired up and ready to take on the world. Talk soon. Fuvvie

    Now, that would be a party to remember, Fuvvie! My mind went immediately to planning the menu. After eliminating chocolate waffles and ice cream, I decided it would be safest if we all met on a fast day. πŸ˜€

    You are so right about the food smells. I had a friend who lost her sense of smell and she said that most food lost its taste as a result. That would be a sad loss to me, as I enjoy my food so much.

    It feels like I’ve gone from a gourmand to a gourmet. From shovelling in everything in sight to selecting and appreciating every meal, however simple.

    All the senses are involved, really. How I arrange my food on a plate. The textures. The sounds of sizzle and crunch. It’s more than just smell and taste. Life is too short to waste all that sensory input on indifferent meals!

    I think we would all need to bring one of our favourite dishes eg chicken thigh fillets dipped in egg and rolled in crushed macedamia nuts, baked, with Greek style salad. Who knows, it might even happen one dayπŸΎπŸŽ‰πŸŽΆβ˜ΊοΈ

    Lolly,
    your mentioning of chocolate waffles makes me laugh. It will be 90 days on July 18 – end of the challenge. Not sure if I should try them or not. I still have 4. πŸ™‚

    Fuvvie,
    My mouth is already watering…. You make me hungry!!

    I would bring our favorite salad: plain whole milk yogurt, garlic, chopped cucumber, salt. I learned it from Palestinian woman when lived in Japan. So easy to make, and the salad became our family’s favorite. Very good for digestion! πŸ™‚

    Way to go on that challenge — I think you should frame those 4 waffles and put them on your wall for the best conversation piece ever! Goodness knows, whatever they’re made of will last longer than either of us. πŸ˜€

    I’ll have to think what to bring to the feast. Perhaps my creamy clam chowder would compliment your gorgeous-sounding favourites.

    I’m clipping a bit from a post I made on another thread because it expresses where I am right now and I want to consider it further.

    “I’m still keeping up my 30 minutes a day commitment of walking. I did try increasing it, but my back complained and I listened. There were days, especially in the beginning, when only my promise got me up and moving but I’ve come to enjoy it now.

    I think what has helped me maintain this promise was its reasonableness. My previous tendency was to go overboard with rigid goals. One day of non-perfection and it was all over β€” I had β€œfailed”. Back to the old ways, pass the ice cream, cue the self-loathing.

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I am succeeding now, where I never could before. I truly believe that we are always doing what we want to do. I lived in the land of β€œshould”. I wanted to not be fat, but not more than I wanted to binge. My words were saying one thing but my actions were speaking the truth. The short-term pleasure far outweighed the mythical long-term gain.

    Eliminating the sugar has allowed me the clarity of thought to see how to change from within. It really isn’t possible to do this with a foot in two camps. It’s very clear to me that the way I eat now is not a temporary plan so I can resume old eating habits when I reach a goal weight. The difference is, I am eating (and fasting) now in a way I truly love and which makes me feel happy and well. I don’t want to go back.

    The way I have done this is to work WITH the quirks of my mind and body. I tested foods, gauged reactions, made choices β€” and only made changes I was ready to accept and that fit me. Many of these changes have had nothing to do with food but it’s like untangling an enormous knot to get to the central truth. Food was not my problem β€” it was my solution. The more work I did to disarm the real problems the less I needed the food.”

    This position is so very different from where I was before March. Perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking got me where I was. Negativism kept me there. I could not properly comprehend the effect sugar was having on me until I was free of it. Looking back, I am appalled. At the time, it seemed normal — which is why there’s no point to treating an addict until they are clean.

    I can change behaviour by applying new actions, as long as I actually want to. Changed thinking follows as repetition becomes habit. There is a paradigm shift. Same world, same eyes, but I’m processing it very differently.

    More to think about.

    It’s Wednesday Weigh-In, and despite a short week, I am so pleased to have dismissed another 2 lbs.

    19 st./1 lb.

    For me this forum is part of this success. I never had such a support before while dieting. Reading so many different stories, learning how other people overcome the temptations, knowing that other were struggling, but still achieved their goals, and kept the weight – make me so much stronger and determined.
    Funny, but I feel the sense of accomplishment and exclaim a triumphant “YES” every time I see others’ success. 19 st/1 lb !!! Hooray!!!

    I was not very good for a couple of days, and my scale refused to give me a good news, but I am fasting today, so I am hoping to please my scale with that. πŸ˜€

    Lolly, I just saw your comment on another thread on binge eating. Don’t want to gate crash that group but want you to know I’m here to give you as much support as I can muster, if it would be helpful. You have been showing so much insight into your behaviours and needs, as opposed to wants, that I feel you have strengthened your brain “muscles” to cope with this challenge. Please treat yourself with loving kindness and compassion as you tread this new path. We’re here for you. If your body tells you to eat, then that may be what you need to do. You have got used to listening to your body.

    Thank you, Fuvvie. You’re a kind person. I believe that everything I’ve learned over the last few months has been put in my path to help carry me through the next few. Ironically, I haven’t felt so well in years.

    It’s easy to be positive when all is going well. This will be my “can she walk the walk” test. All I know for certain is that overeating isn’t going to solve anything. It just gives me two problems. I have a food plan which makes me happy. I’ll be paying attention to what my body needs but I’m glad not to have to think much about what to eat on a daily basis.

    You are so right about the support we find here, coldpizza. Inspiration is everywhere. You’re still here, and I think you’re close to finding that formula which fits you. You can feel when you’re ready to take a step: commit to it as soon as you are. Before you know it you’ll have your pattern set.

    Dear Lolly, Has your medical stuff kicked off yet? I am imagining holding you in a big hug (just lovely) πŸ™…πŸ»πŸ’ž. Are you adding some meditation to the mix? Can you still do your 30 minutes of walking a day? I am committing to walking 30 minutes a day “with” you. Warm regards, Fuvvie

    Hooray, my 90 day challenge finished. I was fasting yesterday, and was planning to finish my chocolate wafers with my morning coffee. I was expecting to be extremely happy and was imagining to savor each bite of my 4 wafers. To my chagrin, the wafers were not that super good anymore. I might live without them for now. πŸ˜€

    Lolly,
    Sure you can walk the walk! You did it for 90 days already. You are much stronger and lighter now. Your muscles grew stronger because of the walk. Your body is much leaner because you lose a lot. You are so much healthier now than at the beginning of the journey. And you have Fuvvie to walk together now. πŸ™‚

    Is it time for a new 90 day challenge?

    Wednesday Weigh-In and a dismissal of 1 lb. takes me to the milestone of 19 stone. This is a total loss so far of nearly 3 stone while feeling absolutely satisfied with my meals and fasting — little short of a miracle for me. Never again will I believe that you have to suffer and struggle to lose weight. Pass the butter and leave the chicken skin on, please!

    Sorry we had to spoil those chocolate waffles for you, coldpizza, but think of it this way: nothing which can survive in a packet for 90 days without decaying really belongs in your body anyway! Well done on lasting the challenge.

    Fuvvie, this week has been about scans and prep work. I have an appointment next week where I hope to have more info on my treatment schedule. Meanwhile, I’m getting a support network in place and making what preparations I can. I’m continuing my walking now but we’ll have to see how I go. Meditation definitely goes into the mix.

    I made an interesting discovery after drinking that icky orange chalky drink for a CT scan. It contained an artificial sweetener and not sugar, but it had an effect on me disconcertingly like sugar. For two days I experienced a restless desire for sweet things, for which I had to do a sort of manual override. I’ll be on the alert for that next time. Seems my instincts for avoiding any kind of sweet taste trigger has been on the money.

    19 st./0 lb.

    “nothing which can survive in a packet for 90 days without decaying really belongs in your body anyway!”

    Brilliant!

    Well done Lolly. 19stone is a big milestone. I too have lost about 3 stone and feel much better for it. It’s great to be able to pick things up off the floor. In February when I weighed just under 20stone, I dropped 5 cents on the floor in a shopping centre. Instead of leaving it there, I tried to bend down to pick it up. Then I got onto my knees. Of course, I couldn’t stand up. I had to walk on my knees to a post and pull myself up. Talk about a humiliating experience. One lady rushed over to me and asked if she could help but I said I would be ok. Fortunately, I was just passing through and was a total stranger. But the memory remains.
    I was at the psychologist yesterday and he went through the wheel of awareness with me. It is from Dr Dan Siegal and Noel says it teaches you to compartmentalise things so that you don’t allow the troublesome aspects of life leak out into everything else. The hub of the wheel represents the experience of knowing while the rim contains all the points of anything we can become aware of, that which is known to us. We can send a spoke out to the rim to focus our attention on one point or another on the rim. In this way, the wheel of awareness becomes a visual metaphor for the integration of consciousness as we differentiate rim elements and hub-awareness from each other and link them with our focus of attention. That probably sounds like gobbledy gook (I copied it off a piece of paper) but I tend to focus on one thing and let it flow into or over all the other things in my day without realising I am doing it. So I have to learn to reflect on things without actually buying into the story. That way, I am not going to eat to try and fix something but take time to look at the problem and solve it with better focus.
    Does any of this make sense? Somehow I thought it might be useful to look at something like that while you are coping with your scans etc. You can listen to some of it if you like at http:www.drdansiegel.com/resources/wheel_of_awareness/
    Jason Fung said that artificial sweeteners spike insulin and increase insulin resistance even more than sugar. So that is what has happened with you. Do you have to wait long for your scan results?
    I’m off to bed now. I didn’t realise how fitting walking in would be so difficult. I can’t leave Mother alone as she becomes frightened. And my grandson had to stay home from school today to go to the doctor to have a swab done for whooping cough. So I am breaking it up into tiny pieces like the walk around the shops, up and down to the laundry under the house, backwards and forwards across the yard, up and down the hallway, back and forwards on the verandah. I am going to have to get up early and go for 30 minutes before the others get up, that way there is someone in the house with Mother. I am walking with a friend tomorrow while Mother has her physiotherapy. That will be lovely. Take care my friend.

    Lolly, – dismissal of 3 st! Absolutely amazing job! Good luck with your scans.

    Fuvvie, the need for a walk seems building in our bodies. I was walking my dog every morning for a year now, every day at 5 ammish. Now, during my mom’s visit she offers me to get more sleep in the mornings, and she would walk the dog at 6 am instead. At first I gladly accepted, and skipped walking for a couple of days, but after that I felt a strong need to start walking again. Like my body demands those daily walks. Now we walking every morning with my mom. I really enjoy that. :D.

    I really admire you, my friends, for your determination and strength, for your positive attitudes while dealing with some problems in your lives. This blog teaches a lot, and not just about weight loss. It teaches to see real people and wonderful personalities, learning about what people with different health problems are dealing with. Some stuff I never even thought about, makes me look at your lives thru your stories. I am enjoying all of your victories with all my heart! Have a wonderful day today and every day!

    Hi Lolly,
    I hope your regimen is not being too hard on you. I’ve got the walking going and think about your current journey and how much you will be turning your mind to it. I’m sending you white light. Warm regards, Fuvvie

    Thank you both, Fuvvie and coldpizza, for your support and encouragement. It’s been a tiring week of tests but tomorrow I should get the results and some answers. There’s nothing more I can do until then. In the meanwhile, I’ve organised daily transportation for when I need it, stacked my freezer with prepared meals, and 101 other practical things I may or may not need. All useful for keeping my mind busy, if nothing else.

    Thanks for the mention of Dr. Dan Siegal, Fuvvie. It fits well with my general philosophy, and I do find meditation very helpful. The wheel analogy is one I do use, with ourselves as the centre and touching our world all around us.

    I had heard about artificial sweeteners messing with your insulin, but I was still surprised by the extent of the effect. For the next scan I asked for a drink without sweetener. It was still like drinking chalk, but at least the nasty fake orange was gone — and I didn’t get the same spike. Live and learn.
    I’ve never liked artificial flavours so no loss there.

    I think you have it harder than I do, with all the demands of your family to cope with. Bravo for adding the exercise! I still break mine into 2×15 minutes as my back complains otherwise, but this is 2×15 minutes more than I used to do so I’m claiming a victory. I don’t include the fact that I’m moving much more generally, just the deliberate “I’m doing my walking now” time. I feel so much better for it over all, plus there’s the satisfaction of having kept it up as a daily habit.

    Your story of the coin on the floor made me cringe, remembering a day I tried to get a packet of tea from a bottom shelf — with similar results. Talk about mortifying! Now, I just grab the nearest able-bodied victim for assistance. It’s collecting back on all those little old ladies who needed my help to reach top shelves in my youth. πŸ™‚

    Wednesday Weigh-In, and another pound dismissed. I’m happy to see it go, especially as I have new numbers to count down now…..

    18 st./13 lbs.

    Hello Lolly, Lovely to see your post here. It sounds as though you are being thoroughly investigated. It is awful waiting for the outcome of tests. My husband had his surgery on 7th June and we have to wait till September to see if they were successful in halting the prostate cancer or whether he has to have radiation therapy. It has put him into a limbo that requires patience and a level of acceptance. Not easy.
    Looking back at Coldpizza ‘s message, the walking has obviously got under her skin and caused an itch that only walking can scratchπŸ˜….
    Well done on a further pound down. I admire your ongoing losses.

    Fingers crossed for your husband, Fuvvie. I had my results yesterday and expectations were confirmed. I will start radiation in 3-4 weeks. Not the best news, but you work with what you’ve got. I have excellent doctors so I’ll leave the hard work to them and concentrate on my own part — which consists mostly of just getting there every day. I agree that the limbo is harder than the knowing. Now I have something to aim at.

    On the plus side, a very young and earnest nurse told me to expect some loss of appetite. I think I shocked her a little by laughing.

    Ok Lolly, At least you know what you’re up against. Great attitude you have, my friend. You said earlier that you have a support system in place so that’s good. From what I can gather, fatigue is the issue as time goes on. Meditation including the inner smile can be healing. I wish you strength and health. I value your wisdom and believe you will beat this. Warm hugs

    Praying for you, Lolly. Hugs.

    Wednesday Weigh-In, and two more pounds given the heave-ho. Very happy about that!

    How grateful I am to have worked out so many food issues in the past few months. It’s standing me in good stead now. Innovations have turned into habits through repetition and this new framework is supporting me well. Food used to be my first (and only) response to stress, and that’s just not true anymore.

    Stress is an interesting thing. Previously, even the littlest molehill could send me into an obsessive spiral. Based on how differently I am handling stress now, I have to conclude that some of the food I used to eat was making me, well, crazy! Sugar certainly did. And would again, if I let it. Certainly, trying to relieve pain with the same foods which were causing it was never going to work. I am so much calmer now. My brain fog is gone and I can see solutions where once I only saw problems.

    A few friends have made comments like: “Don’t worry about your diet right now” or “A little treat won’t hurt you”. They mean well and I understand the love and concern behind the words, but I am dealing with the stress BECAUSE of my LCFH structure and not despite it. This way of eating makes me feel well, and they are still thinking of a “diet” as something which is difficult and depriving. Not so long ago, I would have felt they same way they do and would have grasped at any justification to fall off the wagon.

    I don’t seem to even see that old food anymore. I certainly have no craving for it. It’s like it’s just disappeared off my radar. I would never have believed that possible if I hadn’t done it for myself. And no amount of stress is any excuse for going back to a way of eating that I see now as a lifetime of torment.

    18 st./11 lbs.

    You’re sounding great, Lolly. 18st11lb. I’m so impressed. I don’t know how I missed your post when I was online this morning. I usually check in daily. Falling off the wagon really isn’t an option when one has worked so hard to get here. Cakes and sugar don’t call to me but I caved in over a few sausage rolls last weekend. I haven’t achieved your level of “grace” yet πŸ€”πŸŒŸ I’ve had a good fast day today and an excellent massage. Your strategies you’ve developed over the months seem to be carrying over into all areas of your life. Food affects our gut which in turn affects our brain. Sugar feeds the wrong gut bacteria and so affects mood, hormones, brain. In fact, the gut has been referred to as the second brain. So there is science behind your thinking that some foods were driving you “crazy”. Love your posts. Always food for thought.

    Hi Lolly, Wondering how you are getting on. I’ve been reading Mindsight- Dr Dan Siegel and the Wheel of Awareness. I’m seeing the psychologist today and am trying to finish the book before my appointment. It’s making me try to think back to relationships with parents and siblings and trying to make sense of my relationship with food. It’s one thing to try and stop the hormonal drive to eat by cutting out carbs etc, but I’m caught up with why it all started in the first place. It’s so complex. And there you are coping with a complex situation with having to have radiotherapy. I know you’ve dealt with a lot of the emotional stuff and from what I’m reading that should all stand you in good stead. Thinking of you heaps.

    Thank you, Fuvvie — your post is very much on topic for me this week as I’ve tracked how anxiety triggers obsessive food thoughts.

    For as long as I can remember, food has been my answer to any problem. From mild anxiety to full-blown distress, sugar made all things better. Never mind that the effect was temporary. Plenty more where that came from. Easy! No need for boring old mature coping mechanisms here.

    So, here I am today: food cleaned up, emotional issues generally resolved, clear vision forward — and my brain is experiencing a sort of slide show of tempting blasts from the past.

    What’s going on here?

    Hello anxiety, my old nemesis.

    As my own personal guinea pig, I’m watching it with interest. It’s an opportunity to test my theories against reality. We all know how easy it is to be “good” when life is going well. How do we react when we reach a hurdle? This is usually the point where a “diet” fails and we reach for the familiar poison with a mixture of relief and self-loathing.

    What do you do if your change of life is genuine and going backwards is not an option? My best weapon is a sugar-free brain and I’ve deployed it to create a clean kitchen, set up a food and exercise plan, develop a support group, find healthier forms of distraction and pleasure — generally to build new habits to replace old ones through a cognitive approach.

    But life still happens. Losing weight and eating well may feel like a massive thing to me but it merely puts me on a par with everyone else struggling through daily life. I am not exempt, just better able to cope than before.

    Anxiety for me is tied into control issues. I’ve done all that I can do and now I wait for others to do their expert work. I’ve always struggled with this. Genuine source of anxiety? Yes. Is it helpful to me? No. So I need to acknowledge it — and find a way to let it go. NOT mask it, as my old-style temptation slide show would have it.

    Meditation is helping. Talking to others who have been where I am. Writing. Tidying and sorting. Preparing ahead. Thinking.

    There are times of vulnerability when a stray food thought will pop up. But a thought is not a command. It just signals anxiety, and for that I can choose a healing action. There’s my control, if I need it. I have a pattern to apply to any problem — just no magic wand to avoid them completely.

    Wednesday Weigh-In again. No fasting this week so I’m not surprised to have no loss to report. Treatment begins Friday, so over the next six weeks I’ll be playing it by ear with what I tolerate well. Sugar and starches will still be out, of course — my focus may be elsewhere for a while but my mind is still clear on that one!

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